how to manage the bad days??

badgerbread

hi
thought I would see how people manage to get themselves through the days when they have no money left and really need to do something rather than stay in the house. I had a really down day yesterday and was in tears because I felt that we were not getting any better and I just wanted to go out and spend some money on kids and hubby although I did resist I found it really hard especially as we were all off and I just wanted to get out of the house.
anyway feeling more positive today and am more determined than ever to get ourselves sorted (could have something to do with it being pay day)

talliedebtbuster

Hi ther badgerbread, i know just how you feel, i was s upset earlier with it all, but what ive managed to do is put something good fun on tv, friends is on right now, and the olympics. The best thing too is put on here your thoughts, go for a walk with the little ones. You can even PM us all if you wana let it all out. Try and find some freebies, and little bits and bobs, what can you do for free, or if you have a pound in change go to sains and see what basics or reduced fun things you can get? The latest thing ive found is pick up the free magazines in the supermarkets and boots.saves me a fortune!

Please dont feel too down, one day at a time

Tallie

poorandindenial

Hi Badger

Not everything that is fun costs lots of money. Where do you live and how many kids/ages etc. I am sure loads of people will be along with suggestions. Alternatively check out local moneysaving and moneysaving in families and relationships for ideas.

I didn't actually post to give you ideas but to say well done for how much you have already done. You have taken control of your debt situation and kept up with the make £10 a day in August challenge - when you feel a wobble coming on try to remember how well you have done rather than thnking about all the things that money can buy - wait until debt freedom for that!! (or build a small amount into your monthly budget for a day out every so often for you and the family might be a bit more realistic - you might be in debt but that doesn't mean you can't have a life, you just have to plan to fund it now)

I try to remove temptation from myself by syphoning all money for direct debits and bills into a separate account on 1st of the month (I get paid on the last of the month) to remove it from temptation, all the payments that don't already go out on 1st go from that account.

milliemonster

I had one of those days yesterday aswell Badgerhead, to get myself out of it I told myself what I would feel like if I had gone out and spent money unnecessarily and this stops me, yeah its great at the time but when you get home you feel sh**

So instead you need to find other ways of lifting your spirits when you have days like that, going for a walk, to the park, doing some gardening, baking that kind of thing

Lula-Hula

Hi,

some days it's just so tough & depressing isnt it ?
If the weather is good we go out for a bike ride / walk & take a picnic - just something simple like sandwiches, fruit & a bottle of made up squash.

If the weather is bad & we still need to go out we just dress up in our wellies& waterproofs & go puddle jumping or blackberrying.

If we dont want to go out we just do something really silly like turn the tables upside down & pretend they're boats or have to move around the house by only stepping on cushions or furniture - never the floor . You cant beat a good old style board game either

milliemonster

I think aswell what you have to remember is that going from spending sprees and accumulating lots of debt to having to budget and being thrifty is a massive change in behaviours and lifestyles for us and that takes some time to adjust to

Yes I for one will openly admit that whenever I felt down or fed up I would go shopping and look where that''s got me?, and its still tempting to do that now but I have to resist, I WILL resist

keeping my spreadsheets and seeing those numbers coming down are very motivating and addicitve (its like stepping on the scales when you're losing weight and seeing the lbs falling off!!!)

badgerbread

thanksit does help to know you are not alone My kids are 14, nearly 13 (next week) and 7 so it is really hard to occupy the age range especially as the youngest is a boy and the older two are girls. I feel guilty though I know I shouldn't but can not afford to go away this year and feel that I have let them down here I go again feeling sorry for myself!!!
I am pleased I didn't spend money yesterday but that didn't help me at the time thanks everyone for all your support I really feel as if I am not doing this alone hubby tries his best but it affects him if I am down he gets down very quickly as well which does not make a good combination. I think this is because he also feels guilty for the amount of debt we are in as he said yesterday to me I earn good money how did we ever get ourselves like this we don't blame eachother though and don't really argue about money etc I think its just guilt on both parts that makes some days harder than others

savingholmes

badgerbread wrote: »

thanksit does help to know you are not alone My kids are 14, nearly 13 (next week) and 7 so it is really hard to occupy the age range especially as the youngest is a boy and the older two are girls. I feel guilty though I know I shouldn't but can not afford to go away this year and feel that I have let them down here I go again feeling sorry for myself!!!
I am pleased I didn't spend money yesterday but that didn't help me at the time thanks everyone for all your support I really feel as if I am not doing this alone hubby tries his best but it affects him if I am down he gets down very quickly as well which does not make a good combination. I think this is because he also feels guilty for the amount of debt we are in as he said yesterday to me I earn good money how did we ever get ourselves like this we don't blame eachother though and don't really argue about money etc I think its just guilt on both parts that makes some days harder than others

I find it hard too - I would describe myself as a recovering shopaholic. I was crying Sunday - but probably partly due to hormones and severe lack of chocolate! Visit the nicessities thread for ways we find of trying to combat that feeling of dullness and misery (especially if like me you get a high from shopping!). I'm enjoying the £10 a day challenge and am entering lots of competitions for free in the hope that I might win something worthwhile. I have also explained to the kids the debt situation. Try and find stuff you can sell to free up money for occasional treats may be another solution to try....