Please help

Helpus_3

lincroft1710 wrote: »

I notice from your SOA you have no contents insurance, or is this combined in with buildings insurance.

Sorry, I combined it with my buildings insurance and also did this with the gas and electric

System

Ok, have you phoned payplan? Was an IVA mentioned I dont know if you would have been eligible. Have you looked at Bankruptcy? Im not a bankruptcy expert but I am told it is not as bleak as it seems. Have you had a look at the bankruptcy board. The only way is up. Try Payplan. Len

milliemonster

Bear in mind aswell that your children won't be tiny forever, even if you can't increase your hours now as they get older you can work more and throw more at your debts

churchrat

hi helpus
most people on here will understand only to well the heart-thumping belly churning sleepless nightmare that you are feeling right now. We owed 61k just over 6yrs ago and worked out that we would be paying it back until we died, but we are nearly debt free and still breathing.

For me, perhaps the most useful thing I did was to take back control, not just of the debt but my life as well. I think for you this might mean taking some life decisions that you would rather not be faced with at this time. I worked opposite shifts to my oh, so he would walk in the door and I would walk out, and we lived this way for a long time. I also made friends with other mums in my area and we shared child care between us-- so no nursery fees and we had good baby sitters. I know its not what you want but there are benefits. My oh shared much more time with our children doing "ordinary" stuff and the time we did have together was very precious. Down side was always being half asleep cos I worked alot of nights and looked after the kids during the day. Do you have alternatives to working? For us the only alternative was to lose our home, and I very much did not want that to happen. As someone has said, it gets easier as the children get older.

I also made lots of lists. Lists of pros and cons-- so that I could see in black and white the consequences of my decisions.
good luck with whatever you decide, and I am sure that it will not take 58yrs!!

Helpus_3

Thanks, I am in work tonight and it is a 24 hour store so will ask if I can do any overtime. I am a bit of a night owl anyway so I guess I could stay until 1 or 2am instead of finishing at 11. Will try ad get some Sundays at double pay too. My other half doesn't want me to be away from home that much or be shattered for the kids all day, but as you say, I don't really have a lot of choice. I am so ashamed to be in this position and I am desperate not to let anyone find out.
My other half has just phoned to say he has spoke to our mortgage broker who is coming to visit us on Thursday evening to let us know our options there, but thinks she could get us a 90% mortgage on the house we are in over a longer term than 25 years and free up around 25,000 so we would still have 15,000 to pay, but it doesn't sound quite so bad as before. I have also just snapped out of my panic and realised I have some Tesco savings and shares and think I may have around 5,000 although I am not sure if I can't cash all of it in at the moment. I really need to get our paperwork in order as bills etc have just been pushed put of sight and mind.
I don't know if the mortgage thing is really our bestoption nut cccs just didn't seem to have any answers. I was really looking forward to their phonecall, and felt positive they would put our minds at ease a bit and come up with a long term plan, but I feel worse!
I swear I don't think I have felt this bad since my dad died 8 years ago, its the same helpless feeling.
Oh, just thought I would say I am not a new member to te board and have been here since 2003 under a different user name which is another reason this is so stupid as I have read about people in this situation before and admired how they dealt with it but promised myself I would never be there myself yet here I am!

Helpus_3

I understand I would be turning unsecured debt into a secured debt by upping the mortgage, but I can't see any other way out of this situation. Surely its better than going bankrupt. This has just happened to someone we know of with the same debt. It was actually the guy we bought this house off and its so painful to see his empty house with notices all over the windows thinking it could be us.

churchrat

I didn't want anybody to know either, and it was only when we started to come out the other side that we started talking about it. we were amazed at the number of people who were in the same position as us, some who were doing something about it and some not.
Re the mortgage--no advice to give, but I would be wary of borrowing more on your house, turning unsecured into secured debt, and also it seems that you would be paying back alot more in the long run.
I think the helpless feeling will pass as soon as you realise that you are in charge !!! It seems worse because cccs added it all up for you, but even if they hadn't done the adding up the amount of debt would still be the same. Have you called them agian? or spoken to payplan? sometimes taking in a lot of new information can be overwhelming, and I know I needed to see evrything in writing before I could start to make sense of it all.
I know the work thing is hard, particularly if you wan to be a stay at home mum, but it is not the worst thing that could happen, and you might find that you enjoy it.
Lastly--what of earth are you ashamed about?? you have decided to do something about your debt, and that can only be a good thing.
have a good shift at work toninght

RAS

Hi

I think you need to take some time to look at your situation rather than just diving in and securing debt, which could threaten your home if things go wrong. So get the information and do not make a decision for a few weeks.

You have not posted information about your APRs, but if they are high, getting rid of the most expensive debts by cashing in your savings may well make a huge difference to your situation long term and short-term.

I would suggest that you and OH explore the snowball on www.whatsthecost.com so you understand how much of your future wealth will be spent paying off this debt under various scenarios.

msmicawber

I agree with RAS that you should get all the information at your fingertips before deciding how to proceed. When you're anxious about debt, it's very easy to take the first solution to stop the fear, whereas there may well be a better option. Although everything may seem very urgent at the moment, it is definitely worth taking a little time to be absolutely sure of your alternatives.

daisyruno

i have a problem. is my first time of using this site. i am a first time buyer, wanting to buy ba newbuild house, but the lenders have undervalued the property by 10000. the developers have refused to drop the price, but have offered to pay for another valuation with a new lender, i am confused because this is a higher rate than previous, bearing in mind i might loose my reservation money, surveyors fees and lawyer fees, do i count my lost and walkaway? or go through another credit checvk with a different lender? what happens to my credit rating with having different lenders carrying out checks on me. desperately seeking answers.