Serial over-spender

CAFCGirl

savingholmes wrote: »

:eek: I am probably by nature a bit of a spendaholic. I work full time - I couldn't afford not to work as I would spend far more. I am however trying to reform and I have been trying to do a budget since January. Forgetting direct debits and standing orders I have been trying to allocate my money as follows:

Weekly
£21 cleaner (3.5 hours per week) - I spend more if the house is a mess as we go out to eat more and no with ohf and I working full time and having 2 kids I struggle to keep on top of things as it is
£20 school dinners - kids are in childcare until 6pm so feel do need this
£3 pocket money between 2 kids
£5 for me (this is usually more like 15)
£5 for husband (this is usually more like 10)
£100 supermarket shop (inclusive of treats, clothes)

I tried taking cash out each week and sorting into little tubs - however I was always running out - and would then take additional cash out. I tried shopping on line with Asda 2 weeks ago. I got my supermarket shop down to about £45 and then blew it by 3 trips to the shops to get all the items I'd saved on / missed off the list!

I haven't yet followed Martin's advice for saving for big annual items, gifts etc so in practice that tends to go on the credit card in the hope that by maximising monthly repayments it should balance out over the year.

I started reading the thread on living on £4K per year - but I genuinely don't know how you do that. I occasionally manage to get my supermarket bill down to more like £60 - using a list defintely helps and then blow it when it comes to buying detergents, toilet rolls etc.

Hope you can help :A

Hi there Holmes,

I hope you dont mind me saying this but how much do you really want to do this?
When i had my first lightbulb moment, i found i had lots of reasons for why I couldnt give things up, cut down etc.
It takes lot to admit to yourself that a situation needs addressing, it then takes even more to admit to yourself that it is your reponsibility, and even more thereafter to actually take control not only of your finances but to take control over yourself.

I can understand that your housework situation can seem somewhat daunting, and that you dont have much free time, but you mentionned you have 2 or so hours free each evening. my cleaning of our flat takes me about 45 mins every 2 or so days, but because we keep on top of it, it doesnt overwhelm. Its all about what habits you can get into.
Surely you can suggest to your cleaner that you have less need for nearly 4 hours work per week and tell them you need to cut down to 2 hours, and cut the cost.

Another point, why do you feel you need to spend £20 on school dinners because the kids are in childcare till 6pm? Just wondered, hope you dont take that the wrong way, just trying to understand why you feel you should.

Also given that you've been trying a budget since January, you mentionned that your spend money is usually always double if not triple the budget.
In which case without sounding harsh, your budget is not working for you.

£100 a week on groceries/clothes etc is phenomenal for a family of 4. Im sure you, your OH and kids can cope without new clothes, cut down on the treats, and compile a better shopping list if you are always forgetting things, and get that down considerably. We're a married couple here and we spend about £120 a month and could do better. I know you've got 2 kids, but even if y ou could get that spend down to £300 a month, thats gna give you another £100 a month to pay down the debts.

You mentionned te 4k a year thread. There is no point in beating yourself up about not being able to achieve something like that in the blink of an eye.Thats essentially just setting yourself up for failure. You need to evaluate your own situation, rather than comparing yourself to others.

I think you do need to take some time to really think about what you are prepared and willing to do in order to pay back the money you owe, you've spent it, and now you need to start paying it back before the situation escalates.
Not meaning to scare the socks off you, but life takes no prisoners sometimes, but controlling what aspects you can, will help prepare you for any eventuality.
You need to have your OH totally on side with this, and both take joint responsibility for the situation and appreciate that the lifestyle you have been leading for some time, its not somethin that you can physically afford.

I hope some of this has helped in some small way, and none of it was meant to cause offence. Good luck in your efforts

CAFCGirl

SouthernSoftie

savingholmes wrote: »

Thanks for the replies - I liked the one about totting up how much you would have given to charity/church and then paying it later when debts repaid.

Yes I do put things I spend on others on a card. I don't see it as taking money owing creditors as we've never defaulted.... We've always had good enough credit that we could move money around in time....!

I also agree about LBM as I am trying very hard - to the point it's given me a headache! - but I want in theory to be debt-free but am reluctant to face the pain of the choices that means I have to make and what I and my family then have to do without.

If I pretend for a moment I'm talking to Benjamin Fry on Spendaholics.... To get out my violin my childhood involved a lot of financial hardship which as an adult I've tried to run away from as fast as I can but then pretty consistently made poor spending choices. I remember being hungry and in patched clothes and don't want that now for me or my family.... and to be fair with more sensible spending there is no need for that now either. :cool:

Also using psycho-babble I know that debt is a form of self-sabotage - if we were debt free that would increase our life choices but also potentially mean that I get pushed in directions that I don't necessarily want to go. I am vaguely trying to deal with the psychological side of debt too but it is difficult.

Coming back to the charity side of things I am a firm believer in "Live more simply that others might simply live" - not managed the simpler life bit and try to make up for it by charity giving anyway! A lot of this is very deeply ingrained and could take some time to undo the bad habits and create more positive ones....

Locally, a new support service around debt may be starting... it is possible that I may join that - although with that comes the risk of exposure and wider consequences. Discretion is not their strongest point. I am also concerned we could be judged and found wanting. It may however provide an opportunity to discuss their view of us reducing our charitable support.... Most people would look at us from the outside and think we were successful....:o

Spending money on others is still using someone elses money, and if you are putting your charity donations as a priority that money is also coming off of what you could, in the future give to charity when you are debt free. Paying for pthers just makes this further away.
I understand about the psychobabble and the fact others may see you as successful.
My Mum bought me up on her own from the age of 3. She scrimped and saved for things for me. I had clothes from jumble sales etc, she could unpick a jumper and knit me some gorgeous new ones. I know what she did to get me the things I had.
I now have 'things', but I owe for them and I know she would not have respect for me for that. That is yet another reason this needs to be sorted.
And yes we look very succesful. I have a huge house, two cars inc a lovely bmw, a sportsmotorbike, I have a gucci watch, everything we could want, but we owe and it needs to be sorted. Hence why I now have 29 items on Ebay and more ready to be listed!
And I have also never defaulted but I can see how daft it is to be spending my hard earned cash on interest.

This discussion group is as discreet as you want. We will not judge.

savingholmes

I've cancelled 2 charity sto worth £22 per month which should help towards cost savings. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately didn't apply for 0% interest rate quickly enough and so I've just gone to normal interest levels on my debt of between 15 and 18%. :eek: I have a pre-approved application which I submitted this week - not sure what credit limit they will give me though. If I still need to move some - will probably move to rate for life....

I've reviewed my current debt level:
Card 1 7186.32 now at 15.94% (but hopefully only for another week of so)
Card 2 1724.03 now at 18% (ditto above or worst case 6.5%)
Card 3 521.37 now at 6.5% rate for life
Average overdraft a month likely to be £417:o - this relates to debt level before monthly salary goes in
Owe approx £400 on childcare but owed £225 on expenses which can use towards it and Augusts childcare voucher payment should clear that

So my debt level including Cards 1-3 and average overdraft £9841.72 which is an improvement.:j

linniestorm

Well done on your work to date savingholmes! I noticed you said you were a bit apprehensive about the ebay thing, don't know if you've jumped into it but it's always good to have on the go in the background. Have you seen this new seller's guide on the ebay site? Might be of help?

http://pages.ebay.com/help/sell/sell-ov.html

savingholmes

Just read that- thank you, have also read some of the current e-bay comments on the forum... a lot of people seem to be having trouble selling and they don't seem sure if the problem is techological ie e-bay's end or the result of the credit crunch. I think I will try the free papers and local secondhard booksellers (and buyers) first.

linniestorm

oh i don't really hang round in the ebay forum, will look out for that. If you're after selling books I've always had a lot of luck with amazon marketplace, probably because so many people browse it. If you find the page of the book you want to sell on the amazon website you can click the Sell Yours Here button on the right. Sometimes the prices are rubbish, but usually they're ok. And the postage credit is always £2.75 so even after fees you don't pay out too much. Certainly easier than listing on ebay. Might be worth a go if you don't get anywhere with local listings.

savingholmes

savingholmes wrote: »

I've reviewed my current debt level:
Card 1 7186.32 now at 15.94% (but hopefully only for another week of so)
Card 2 1724.03 now at 18% (ditto above or worst case 6.5%)
Card 3 521.37 now at 6.5% rate for life
Average overdraft a month likely to be £417:o - this relates to debt level before monthly salary goes in
Owe approx £400 on childcare but owed £225 on expenses which can use towards it and Augusts childcare voucher payment should clear that

So my debt level including Cards 1-3 and average overdraft £9841.72 which is an improvement.:j

I have managed to move £1K from Card 2 to 0% with a 3% transfer fee until May - and should be able to move say another £700 in a day or 2:money:
I'm moving £5,600 from Card 1 to card 3 on rate for life at 6.9%:money: just have to wait for security promo code which should arrive within 4-5 days
Leaving £1586 on Card 1:mad:

I rang card 4 which currently has a zero balance to close account unless they gave me 0% on balance transfer - they said they would but I needed to give them my card details. Since its cut up I couldn't - so they are sending me a new card and then hopefully I should be able to move the rest of card 1. Failing that after I have cleared the balance on card 2 - I could try the same - threaten to shut account unless they agree to balance transfer....

At least £350 is due to be paid off the above cards over the next month anyway so it may be a matter of adjusting my payments for a bit to pay off higher interest rate card.

Worst case scenario - I do have a small amount of savings - I could use that towards Card 1 if I can't get a better deal.... I'm only in a short term job hence why I've kept some savings in case you wondered....:rolleyes:

I am also thinking of asking at work whether I could finish early enough one day a week to be able to pick up the kids by having shorter lunches - this would then save me £14 in every school week which adds up to approx £70 per month! Which I could then use towards debt. Wish me luck with that one:cool: