New partner with loan problems

Badger_Lady

No, I'm not even slightly sure! :eek: :rotfl:

Emmy_L

How long have you guys been together?Do you see each other on a very regular basis?
I'm sorry if that question is beside the point,but if you havent been together for very long,then maybe now isn't the time to be lending money or having him move in.
I think it would be better if he called his loan provider and took it up with them

Badger_Lady

It's a slightly odd situation - we were together when we were teenagers (17 and 18), fell completely head over heels with one another, moved in together and planned to marry but then circumstances forced us apart.

Last week was the first time we'd met for a proper conversation in 8 years but, within 10 minutes, we were right back to where we left off and couldn't bear to be apart again.

He's only up there again now to get his stuff and organise moving down here... After all, the only alternative would be for him to rent a room somewhere else locally and:

a) Spend all his time at my house anyway;
b) Pay towards a stranger's mortgage instead of mine!

So it's hardly "the sensible route" but it is all very romantic and is happening now. But I won't think twice about kicking him up the bum if he becomes a leech on my hard-earned lifestyle - he's here to enhance it, not damage it.

nesssie1702

Oh Badger Lady - be careful.

Some things that need to be sorted out:

1 BF's loan default - it may be worth his while contacting the local CAB and asking for money advice? They can independently contact the loan issuer on his behalf to explain the circumstances.

2. What did he take the loan out for? Can't remember? I'm sorry that's just a poor excuse, as looking at his repayments over 5 years it's either a 10K or 12K loan that he's taken out, and you don't not remember why you borrowed that kind of money.

3. Please be careful, even if you did know him when you were 17/18, you're now older, wiser and financially savvy, so think about what you're doing.

4. If he doesn't have any interest in financial matters, be prepared to be the one "in control" of the purse if your relationship does continue. I speak from experience here, as my other half has no interest in what goes where and pays for what, but he loves spending the stuff.

Sometimes your head has to overrule your heart, but whatever happens, I hope it all works out for you.

Badger_Lady

Thank you Nessie I'm perfectly prepared to be in charge of the money - I always have taken that role anyway - as long as I'm not expected to pay for everything!

The loan was for "bits and pieces" - a holiday here and there, a fancy TV. Terrible in my view, I can't understand why anyone would burden themselves with such a large loan and the interest rate it entails for "nothing much"

I'll mention the CAB - had forgotten that :rolleyes: