Child's father could/should I ask for more money?

Fidget

Hi all,

I Have a dilemma concerning my ex-partner and maintenance payments for our little girl who is 5.

To explain a bit of history we split before her first birthday and he began paying maintenance at £150 per month - at this point the CSA were not involved. He always paid me on time and he seemed content with this arrangement. He has regular access at school holidays and has her one day a week.

However about two and a half years ago I was made redundant and because I had to claim benefits the CSA became involved. He declared his working hours as being only 20 per week and they suggested payments of just £20 per week (I think he is contracted to do 20 hours but I personally believe he works much more just going off when he has given the excuse of being in work when I've asked if he would like to spend time with daughter) He put the amount of maintenance down in accordance with this straight away much to my dismay.

He lives rent-free with his mother and has a nice car and goes on regular holidays. For the past year and a half I have lived with my partner of 4 yrs who does his best to work to support me and her as a family. I work part-time of only 15hrs a week and I am currently doing all I can to get full-time work. The thing is we are really struggling as I am not finding it easy to get another job. We can't even afford a weekend away. I think it was really unfair of him to put the payments down in the first place as it wasn't in his daughters best interest but at the time I was in a better position for it not to make too much difference to her.

What do others think? Should I just accept he's pretty mean and concentrate on what my partner and I can do for our daughter or should I ask for more money? Two and a half years is a long time surely even if he was only working the basic 20 hours then it would have gone up now - by the way the CSA have not been involved for nearly two years. Any advice so long as it is meant in good spirit will be greatly appreciated. Sorry if my writing is slightly long-winded.

loftus

Are you still on benefits? I assume you mean IS as that seems to be when the CSA have to be involved.
If you are it doesn't matter what he pays you will only get a fixed amount - £10 a week seems to come to mind from memory.
If you aren't ask the CSA to do a reassessment. Hope fully this time they will ask for proof of earnings by way of a P60 rather than taking him at his word.

nightsky224

Its a shame that some (not all) men forget how much it costs to support a child. Would he be willing to help with clothes etc

zoelouise88

I personally would ask for me depending on his earnings. i would work out how much he should be paying then ask for it.

https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp <--csa calculator

Fidget

Hi thanks for the replies,

No I'm not still on benefits. I don't want anyone to pay my way I just wish that given that my little girl has 3 (mostly) loving parents we could at least take her on a little holiday or something just something basic nothing fancy. (By the way ex never takes her away either and doesn't seem to have any interest in doing so.)

I didn't want the CSA to get involved but for the brief period of a couple of months that I was on benefits it was compulsary although they only served to get me a worse deal.

I cannot confirm what ex's earnings are but they are probably a fair amount higher than minimum wage. Just going off when we were together he did overtime and for a few months he was coming home with roughly £1100 per month (this was over five years ago). I know he got the job in the first place through family connections and I'm sure he could obtain whatever "proof" he wanted to satisfy the CSA if they don't actually ask for wage slips. I had also warned him the CSA were getting involved and they didn't contact him for a good few months so it could also be possible that he did less hours during this time.

I don't want to get the CSA involved again (they do still exist don't they?) in case it ends up even worse. I suppose what I'm asking is...would it be just to ask him? Do others think, like him, that he is paying enough? I have asked for the odd little thing about twice but hardly anything and it is usually met with a "that's expensive (when it's £5) or a "oh you will have to wait until I get paid". Plus his idea of sending her clothes usually means something we don't need,something way out of season like vest tops in winter, boys clothes or something that doesn't fit. Arrgggh!

loftus

Yes it would be just and there would be no need to beat yourself up about it.

Lets say he is earning £1000 a month net. He should be paying you the £150 as he was before. Chances are, as you say, that he is earning more. Plus it isn't your fault the CSA became involved, you were just playing things by the book.
If you can communicate with him I would ask. He seems to have reasonable contact with his daughter so hopefully he won't do anything stupid about that because you broach the subject.
Good luck, I hope you get somewhere near what he should be paying.

Savvy_Sue

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Loopy_Girl

Course you should ask for him to put it back up to the £150.00 per month...whether he will do it is, of course, a different matter.;)

I presume he is paying the £80.00 a week faithfully? You can only ask and appeal to his better nature and explain you didn't want to get the CSA involved when you did but you had to and, now that you are back at work, could you revert to the original agreement?

He may say no of course and if what you are saying about working in the family firm then he could get his salary 'embellished'...plenty do.

Not much help I am afraid but if you don't ask you don't get I suppose

Kimitatsu

You can ask for a reassement at any time through the CSA, if he is working and on a PAYE system then he will have to produce his P60 for last year and also his most current payslips.

From the sounds of things if you ask him you wont get any more money out of him but if you go through the CSA then you are likely to get something more. Its not often I recommend going through the CSA but in this case I think I would and ask them to check his P60 as he is employed by a friend of the family - it gives them the heads up and it covers your back if they mess it up! You can ring them and ask for a reassement as it has been over 2 years (they are supposed to do them automatically but they dont) and that will get the ball rolling - just a word of advice, make a note of the date, time and who you spoke to when you requested it.

I personally would not fore warn him of the reassessment, but it is unlikely to be done for at least 8 weeks, so is not a quick fix.

There is nothing to stop you concentrating on your daughter and getting a reassment at the same time, unfortunately things are never easy when you have little ones to look after!

Good luck

mumoftwins

Is it right that the CSA ask for P60's?

When I went to them last year for an annual increase (a one off case) I was told that only asked for last 3 months pay slips which I thought was ridiculous as my ex would have had a bonus which didn't show on these, the CSA then wrote to the secretary pf the company who wrote and said that his bomus was far lower than it normally was!

Fidget

I don't know if they ask for p60s they should though but I don't think they can take bonuses and overtime into account (can they? I hope I'm wrong) as they are variable. For example they can't take £30 a week off someone based on £200 per week income if half of that is made up in overtime incase the overtime suddenly stops. I think this is where my problem lies, because my ex is only contracted to do 20 hours then even if he does 40 hours the excess is classed as overtime and therefore cannot be taken into account so if my reckoning is right then he will get away with paying the minimum again if I go through the CSA.

By the way I'd love to find out I'm wrong about this so feel free to correct me any one who is in the know!