Vent

Apple_2

I don't care if this is unsupportive - I just need to let some steam out.

My O/H has the debts. Today I'm angry with him. Yesterday he got upset when a 'creditors notice' arrived. What does he expect ? We've already talked through what we're going to do and have a plan. Every time a letter comes he says ' it's me with the debts, I'm just saying it's not a pleasant thing, that's all '.

Well it's not pleasant for me either. I've done his P&L's, his Tax Returns, Spoken to the Collector, spoken to the Inspector, written about a dozen times to each of his unsecured creditors, researched the situation via's websites, Nat Debtline, CAB etc. He should be doing this *hi*, not me. But he's no good at it. He's earning and paying the I.R. - that and complaining are his two contributions to the situation.

And he's still reckless with money. It shouldn't be my job to say 'no we can't' , 'we can't afford it' etc. He should KNOW this.

I know he's worried about the debts but I honestly think I'm more worried. I must be stupid.

In my mad moments, I think kicking him out would solve all the problems. Then sanity returns and I know that's not what I want. We are dealing with the debt. He is working. It will get better.

I'm just angry with him today. And I needed to vent in a 'safe' place because I can't say all this to him. He's knackered from work and doing all he can.

Quasar

Apple

I know it can't be easy for you, nor for him. However you are shouldering the hard work with regard to sorting out HIS debt, and you are entitled to feel cheesed off.

I appreciate that you don't want to have a go at him, but you must get him to understand that, until the debt is well under control, you two cannot spend on anything other than necessary items, and even then with a very careful eye. This at the very least you are entitled to expect, in exchange for all the hassle you have to deal with on his behalf.

Since you are the one dealing with all the "paperwork", couldn't you ask him for permission to open the creditors' letters if you are absolutely sure to identify them from the envelope? This way he won't have to see them. It sound silly, but it might make things a bit more relaxed.

And no, you are not being unsupportive. Where would we be if we could not have a moan about our loved ones now and then?

Best Wishes
Q