Such a silly girl...

(Land_of)_Maz

Hello Mrs B!

welcome to the forums!

My advice to you would be to explain to him that you have a loan which was for "whatever" (does he know you had sugery? do you have a car? whatever you tell him it was for it doesn't really matter that much to be honest) pass it off as a student loan if you want. Very few of us have no debt really, so i doubt he will be surprised hun.

Explain that you are taking this debt with you, but you've no black marks on your file, you're managing to pay it off, and if possible you will be overpaying it as you go. But you wanted to have all your cards on the table and wanted him to know the position before you moved in together, rather than hiding it from him. You'd find yourself lying about what you'd spent money on every month to cover the fact that you were paying this.... or worse you'd fall behind in your payments trying to keep up the pretence of having more disposable income than he thinks.

He's obviously very sensible and you are too, as you know you don't want to get into more debt. He might be miffed for a while but explain to him your reasons for telling him now, i.e. no secrets

Re the actual ability to be able to live off the remainder of your cash. Yes this looks doable to me, and chances are he will actually pay for more if he earns proportionally more money than you? i.e. you pay 1/3 of the food shopping he pays 2/3's? Or (my personal; fave!) you buy the drinks, he pays for the meal!!

He sounds fab, and i'm glad you've found a man you love! plus one that keeps your spending urges at bay is no bad things. If he knew what you were like before, he really won't be surprised!!

Good luck hun, and let us know how it goes!!

MrsBrookfield

RAS wrote: »

Are you acquainted with www.freecycle.org - like e-bay but you only pay the cost of collecting the goods? that could get you bedding, pots, pans etc.

How about you do a mock SOA for yourself and OH and see how your finances would work out if you move in together.

I hadn't heard of them, no. But I will deffinately take a look! Thank you!

I'm just making up a mock SOA now, will post results in a mo... I'm kinda scared of the outcome

Staciep88

I think you should tell him cuz that will make it alot easier. Tbh though hun I think you'll be fine on that money - just dont let yourself rent a place that you no you will struggle to pay for. Me and my partner found a place £100 under budget so that we would be saving an extra £100 a month. Gud luck x

Glitterari

I think honesty is the best policy. I am sure he'd rather know and it'll feel so much better paying back your debts knowing you have the support of the man you love behind you supporting you. Explain that is how you were, not how you are now...explain that he brings out more frugal, money savvy side of you.

skintas_2

how long do you have to keep the repayments back for the surgery

lucielle

Just wondering how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot and he was in debt? Suppose you found out after you moved in together? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but I feel that honesty is the best policy to base a relationship on. Hope things go well for you.
L

redsquirrel80

Hi MrsB - I have to agree with the others, if you're going to move in together then being honest with him is a good place to start. Yes, he might be a bit disappointed, but there are much much worse things you could have done than take out a loan! And most importantly, you are taking responsibility for paying it back, so although you did something a bit silly in the past, you are sorting it out. I think if you keep it secret it's going to cause you a lot of stress in the future, if you live together he'll have a pretty good idea of your finances even if you keep them 'seperate', so may start to wonder what's happening to that £200 a month, or why you can't afford to do/ buy things on your salary. It's a lot better for him to find out now, from you, than once you've moved in.

I think the mock SOA is a great idea, and if you sit down with him and go over the figures, whilst explaining your situation, he should be able to see that you've now got your head screwed on moneywise.

Wishing you lots of luck!

lonestar1

Well it sounds from your previous posts that your planning on renting somewhere, Most Land Lords will do credit checks. If you have anything other than a clean credit record imagine how you will feel to your partner explaining why you failed the credit checks (only you know how likely that is but if you tell him first its less likely to be a shock)

Cleosmum

Are you splitting the deposit and first months rent too? that could free up some money to make some overpayments on the loans