Disheartened

Lexxi

I registered on here at the start of the year but haven't had much chance to keep up to date with the forums so don't know if anyone else feels this but does anyone else ever get disheartened with all the scrimping and saving and cutting back?

I've cut back on almost everything, nights out are planned with extreme precision, I travel by bus almost everywhere, take my own lunches, don't go shopping unless I really have to.
I just want to go crazy, I have a few thousand saved up for works to a house but I want to go out let my hair down then go out shopping, all day.
I was at the airport last year and had managed to get through the holiday having spent about £50 over 5 days, so I had around £200 cash left over, I thought I'll treat myself to something small as I've had so much self control even on holiday and I couldn't justify it!!

But it just feels like no matter how hard I save it doesn't seem to be making a difference. I don't think it helps that my income isn't great and I also get paid weekly so whilst money gets put away weekly it's a small amount but would still total the same amount if it was done monthly!! I'm also doing it all on my own, it's a bit overwhelming sometimes, especially as people my age are playing out, lots.

Sorry, this is turning into a rant but I can't be the only one that gets like this!

mah_jong

I think there are many of us like that , I can put lots in my basket and then put it back! If someone gave me a hundred quid to go food shopping, I would struggle to get over 20. I kid you not. I only buy what I need, there is no waste in this household, (of one) Done if for years so now its hard to get out of the routine.

However looking at the BIG picture, only 11 more payments on the mortgage ....

Look on the bright side, at least you had a holiday. :rotfl::rotfl:I didn't for years! Not until I felt OK about the level of mortgage debt. if you have your hol money saved, tell yourself its OK to spend it. However perhaps there was nothing there worth buying , you can after all spend your money only once.

yes it may seem that others are out living and playing lots but I bet they are counting the days till pay day, and nothing to show for it. Where as you, have a wise head on your shoulders.

moominyak

:hello: Hi Lexxi, just to let you know that you're most definitely NOT alone in feeling this way!

I too am doing it all on my own, am just in the process of remortgaging and borrowing even more :eek: so I can pay back my M&D who helped me hang on to my house a couple of years back.

Have made a few teensy weensy overpayments this year, am now just going to let all the remortgaging stuff go through so I can see exactly where I am and then the onslaught shall commence in earnest from September (famous last words).

It helps with keeping costs down that I am, by nature, a hermit

Hang in there!

FZwanab

I used to feel exactly this way until I read a book called "The complete tightwad gazette" now I am actually enjoying being frugal (not stingy) and have my goal firmly in sight of being mortgage free. I am seeing it as a challenge rather than oh my life is miserable, my wages are terrible, I can't do much like other people. Now I am beginning to see a lot of people as wasteful the way I used to be. Hope that helps.

epsilondraconis

You can look at it that you are always saving and never splashing out; however I think it's always worth remember why you are doing it and why you are so commited to the cause. Okay, we can all go out and blow £200 in a shopping spree but what does it achieve. The reason we save the pennies the way we do is because we are conscious of the fact that we do not want to get into debt and we know that we would not be happy about it if we did. I know that I would find it difficult to sleep if I knew that I had money worries. Some people dont seem to have a problem with getting into debt and then perhaps ultimately going bankrupt. Others would shudder at the thought that it could happen to them / they would allow it to happen to them.

I guess if you look at what we have in this country we are very fortunate. Yes agreed the cost of living is high with energy and mortgage rates looking like they will rise further; however if you compare our situation with those in say zimbabwe or somewhere similar it doesn't feel so bad.
I think it's always worse when our perception is that everyone else seems to have more money, a better life and are happier than us. In some / many cases, yes that may be true but in a number of cases it isn't.

To quote 'James' / 'Sit Down' - "If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor".
..

Good luck...

zekepes

Yes, definately felt like that sometimes.

But then when I look back over my life my happiest times are generally when I am being careful with money. I can still remember the bizarre joy I felt each saturday walking along to the village post office to deposit my £10 when I was in the sixth form. Then being able to afford to pay for a trip to Greece that I would have never been allowed to go on otherwise. Then being a bit down on the return that my lovely little savings account had been 'ruined' lol.

I find it difficult to justify a lot of purchases, so I just don't make them. It also helps that I am waging a war on clutter so things that could be seen as treats before I now see are irritating clutter. Also trying to be 'greener'. I definately prefer this to the slightly out of control feeling of just buying stuff, even though it could be afforded.

We still go out though and buy 'treats' that are genuinely wanted. Just more careful about how often and the cost to enjoyment ratio.

Lexxi

Thank you all for all your comments, it helps knowing that people feel the same.
Before I started wanting to pay off the mortgage I was spending an awful lot on nothing and whilst I don't usually feel like I'm missing out by being frugal I do sometimes think it would be nice to be stubbling in at dawn rather than the last bus at 11pm. Then I think about the amount that would cost and dismiss it. Thinking the money would be far better in savings.
Saying that, last night I gave myself the night off. I'm now so hungover I don't want to move again let alone spend! Just checked the damage and I only spent £40-50 which included a taxi and a meal, not bad for manchester. I was expecting to spend a lot more. It was a fantastic night and most definately worth it. I'm now staying in for the rest of the week, having a friend for dinner tuesday and a dvd night thursday.

To be honest I quite like not spending and love the smug feeling of seeing £10 in my purse days after I've taken it out of the bank. A lot of my friends live in their overdrafts and I want to shake them! It just feels like saving is a very long, slow process especially as my mortgage will take about 10 years, if I pay off the £200 p/m.

moominyak

Lexxi wrote: »

It just feels like saving is a very long, slow process especially as my mortgage will take about 10 years, if I pay off the £200 p/m.

Console yourself... my aim is to be MF by 50... gives me about 14 years and requires an extra £300 pcm..!

Damn! I wish I'd thought about this sooner!!

EssexHebridean

Ahhh Lexxi - I guess there aren't many on here who don't know EXACTLY how you feel. It's almost a feeling of guilt when you spend sometimes isn't it - as though you'd stolen the object, not just handed cash over for it! The other weekend I bought myself a nail varnish - took it back half an hour later and got a refund because I felt so bad at having bought it!

We've taken the view that yes, we want to save, we want to get the loan paid off, we want to pay the mortgage off early, however, we're not going to make ourselves miserable doing so. We go for weekends away (Just been to Cardiff for the British Speedway Grand Prix - we go every year and have a superb time and there was no way we were skipping it this year!) - it's the little things that make the difference so far as I'm concerned, and those that give the biggest feeling of reward - I just spotted on the Clubcard points at the bottom of the receipt that the points for two recycled mobile phones have been added - an extra £10 of vouchers next time around. :T I get bizarrely pleased at seeing the tiniest amounts of cashback added to the quidco total, stuff like that!

Why not try setting yourself goals and rewards - perhaps put a few pounds aside each week into a piggy bank and when you've got £50 in there use it against a night out, or some new clothes, or whatever ticks your particular boxes? Having fun and enjoying life is just as important as clearing your mortgage, if not more so.

Fur156

Hi Lexxi.

I too have your feeling, and like you I would like to go and blow a big wad of cash.
But then Like you, I am really sceptical of any purchases I make which is a good thing.

Just stick with it, and we are all here to help you out and give you surpport.

Fur156

noodles42

Hi Lexxi

Totally with you - but my theory is it is great paying off the mortgage but I would get stir crazy if I was sat in all the time (especially as I keep thinking how much it is costing me to have the light on or run the TV) and so I ensure that I do one thing each month that makes me happy and blow the cost - with the exception of purchasing a motorbike I am happy with it being something very small like a coffee with my girlfriends or a walk round the lake with the dogs and an ice cream for a treat.

Maybe you could look at taking one weeks savings and spending them on you - at least that way you wont resent the house that you are saving so hard to have.

Well thats my take anyway ;-)