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    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 617Posts
    • 7,069Thanks
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 20
    • Lilith1980
    • By Lilith1980 11th Mar 18, 8:52 PM
    • 1,712 Posts
    • 4,675 Thanks
    Lots of small steps lead to more progress

    Glad you are keeping on, keeping on Pauline x
    My debt-free diary
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 11th Mar 18, 9:01 PM
    • 617 Posts
    • 7,069 Thanks
    My friend knows about the panics etc so he was fine about me getting there and then quickly going. Thinking about it, what I should have done was go outside, do some breathing exercises and go back in. I gave in too easily. But again, lesson learned. My friend appreciated the effort I had made which was the most important thing.

    I have made a little to do list for tomorrow. Just basic things.

    Thanks for popping by
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Mar 18, 11:03 PM
    • 1,476 Posts
    • 8,733 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    A while ago I went through a time a little like you describe . I used to go and sit in my car for a few minutes . I felt safe in there , when i was ready I went back again . Maybe worth a try for you . You do really well . Have a good week .
    CC1 £3993.62
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 11th Mar 18, 11:31 PM
    • 617 Posts
    • 7,069 Thanks
    Hi Cumbrian Lass

    Thanks for popping by. Yes, I know exactly what you mean about feeling safe in your car. I had that feeling last night driving home.

    Have a great week, take care honey
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • moneyonmymindsam
    • By moneyonmymindsam 11th Mar 18, 11:39 PM
    • 1,306 Posts
    • 3,873 Thanks
    Hi 117Pauline

    Apologies I have stumbled across your diary and just thought I would see if you are OK. I have a new challenge which is Look After Self so LAS in my signature so tomorrow will be my day 1 of LAS .

    Your doing a grand job

    [B]Savings £3,001.00 NSD MARCH 0/15

    If nothing changes then nothing changes

    LAS 0/15
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 12th Mar 18, 3:20 AM
    • 704 Posts
    • 2,937 Thanks
    The concerts sound great and what a good idea to have some to look forward to. Have a good week.
    paydbx #93 £577/£8,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3123 in Jan 18
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 12th Mar 18, 9:01 PM
    • 5,351 Posts
    • 34,582 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    You're making fab progress Pauline. You've been out quite a few times which is good. Small steps and all that.

    Saw a squirrel in my garden yesterday so they're around. Spring is on its way
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £187.55
    March NSDs 2 AFDs 2
    Weight loss 5/10LBS Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    April holiday £120/£900
    Dining room fund £0
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 12th Mar 18, 9:08 PM
    • 1,232 Posts
    • 10,373 Thanks
    Agree with everyone else. You have made a lot of progress since the start here, have a read back and see how far you've come. Don't be too harsh on yourself

    Take care

    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 12th Mar 18, 11:04 PM
    • 1,468 Posts
    • 7,628 Thanks
    Thanks for popping in to my diary and making me laugh about the guinea pig and his little escape fund! Still grinning about it...

    I think it's brilliant you went all that way for your friend. It doesn't matter that you didn't stay long. You went and that will have made him feel special.

    All this talk of spring and squirrels made me think of 'great oaks from little acorns grow'. All these little steps seem small to you now but they are the foundation of your future and after a while you will see them getting easier.
    MFW #30 Paid off £770/£3770 in 2018
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 13th Mar 18, 10:28 PM
    • 1,682 Posts
    • 10,149 Thanks
    Well done on making the journey to see your friend. If you look back to how you felt at the start of your diary, you probably would not have wanted to attempt to go. You've done so well.

    And lovely concert to look forward to as well!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings for Retirement! - £0
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 13th Mar 18, 10:53 PM
    • 617 Posts
    • 7,069 Thanks
    So Monday and Tuesday done.

    One of the squirrels is back but can anyone explain why he had to knock the fat balls and feeder off the tree within 15 minutes of being in the garden. But it's lovely to have him back.

    I am trying to come up with some new little routines to make life easier. I have bought one of those little pill divider things to help me get my tablets at the right time. So set it up today as I managed to forget to take them last night. I have also decided to take my pain meds more.

    Sam - I call LAS fabbing. I have made myself a little list to remind myself. What I am trying to do is create some little challenges each week.

    I have been out twice today. I,went shopping and to the library this morning.

    And I have just returned from Asda after buying 100 violas for £1!!!! What a bargain. I love my garden. Two years ago I only bought reduced price plants then last year I did not buy any plants at all. The violas were originally 10 for £2. I am planning to make four or five viola pots for friends and neighbours. Then I will put the rest in pots for here. When I leave I can take them with me. They are looking considerably brighter after watering and deadheading. Tomorrow miracle gro.

    Still getting the panics. I am trying to record to see if I can spot a pattern.

    Must head off to bed, take care everyone
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 14th Mar 18, 1:44 PM
    • 1,682 Posts
    • 10,149 Thanks
    Lucky friends and neighbours to be recipients of your viola pots! And a good idea to pot the rest so you have something lovely to take with you in time.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings for Retirement! - £0
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 14th Mar 18, 2:00 PM
    • 1,341 Posts
    • 8,123 Thanks
    Wow, what a bargain on the violas. Love them, such happy little flowers.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 14th Mar 18, 2:20 PM
    • 8,186 Posts
    • 24,310 Thanks
    What a bargain on the plants
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Mar 18, 2:43 PM
    • 51,470 Posts
    • 199,633 Thanks
    How lovely.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 16th Mar 18, 1:27 PM
    • 617 Posts
    • 7,069 Thanks
    The violas are absolutely beautiful now. They look like completely different plants and I am looking forward to planting them out.

    One squirrel is back and making a mess. He is making such a mess.

    Loads of green shoots about which always makes Spring that much closer.

    I am still planning to go to another local concert tomorrow which is featuring another one of the talented Kanneh Mason family.

    Have a good weekend everyone
    Take care
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Abi_J
    • By Abi_J 16th Mar 18, 3:09 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    I hope you have found a job and your loans etc.sorted already!! I just wanted to suggest you on freelancing which will help add to your income. There are lots of opportunities these days and with the conditions that you have mentioned, freelancing would be a great choice in your situation!!
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 16th Mar 18, 4:00 PM
    • 1,341 Posts
    • 8,123 Thanks
    I noticed a bit of kerfuffle at the end of the garden today and spotted that we have re-gained a squirrel.

    I had a little potter and admired the new shoots too.

    Hope the snow doesn't impact on you tomorrow.
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 16th Mar 18, 5:36 PM
    • 491 Posts
    • 2,079 Thanks
    Voilas - I love their little faces. I bet they look lovely all together. In the garden centre, they had a huge table of primroses, all different colours, so vivid, with their glorious scent, it filled me with wonder for nature. All things gardening does that to me. I'm amazed when spring starts springing and what was sleeping wakes back up. Bulbs are something akin to a miracle.

    Have a great weekend

    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £27,819.22
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 16th Mar 18, 8:43 PM
    • 1,682 Posts
    • 10,149 Thanks
    Really hope you enjoy your concert tomorrow Pauline and have a lovely weekend.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings for Retirement! - £0
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
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