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Please learn from my mistakes!!
worriedDan
Posts: 262 Forumite
If you are a DFW newbie - please learn from the mistakes that I have made over the last few years.
You may have seen my other posts, but if not.....
I signed up a couple of weeks ago. 55Kish in debt. My wife knew that we had debt, but not the extent of it. I thought I could manage it. I did the typical 'man' thing and tried to carry the burden. In reality I had been doing it for years. I would worry about the post arriving. I would panic if ever we needed a credit check for something. I earn a good salary and I kidded myself that it was ok. I always had a plan to sort it out but never actually did anything about it. The debts have really escalated in recent months and I got to the point where I couldn't bury my head any longer - this is when I signed up on here.
To cut a very long and miserable story short - My wife now knows the extent of our debts... well I managed to stutter " it's in the fifties" - She was shocked at the amount, but more concerned about how it had taken a toll on my mental health and well being. I am not too proud to admit that I have been in a terrible state in recent weeks.
We have sat together this evening and worked on a JOINT budget. We are taking a hardcore approach -paying off 2k a month!
If anyone is carrying the burden alone then please read through my posts. I don't think that you can apply one rule for everyone's relationship, but I now know that the stress of the secrecy far outweighed the stress of the debt.
Tonight I will sleep ALL night. I won't wake up at 4am and start googling debt related stuff. I can see an end to all of this, I really can! :T
You may have seen my other posts, but if not.....
I signed up a couple of weeks ago. 55Kish in debt. My wife knew that we had debt, but not the extent of it. I thought I could manage it. I did the typical 'man' thing and tried to carry the burden. In reality I had been doing it for years. I would worry about the post arriving. I would panic if ever we needed a credit check for something. I earn a good salary and I kidded myself that it was ok. I always had a plan to sort it out but never actually did anything about it. The debts have really escalated in recent months and I got to the point where I couldn't bury my head any longer - this is when I signed up on here.
To cut a very long and miserable story short - My wife now knows the extent of our debts... well I managed to stutter " it's in the fifties" - She was shocked at the amount, but more concerned about how it had taken a toll on my mental health and well being. I am not too proud to admit that I have been in a terrible state in recent weeks.
We have sat together this evening and worked on a JOINT budget. We are taking a hardcore approach -paying off 2k a month!
If anyone is carrying the burden alone then please read through my posts. I don't think that you can apply one rule for everyone's relationship, but I now know that the stress of the secrecy far outweighed the stress of the debt.
Tonight I will sleep ALL night. I won't wake up at 4am and start googling debt related stuff. I can see an end to all of this, I really can! :T
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Comments
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Good luck on your debt free journey.x
SPC no:0760 -
The main thing is you have taken steps to get rid of the debt. Its a bit late but at least its now rather than further on down the line.
Good luck with it.0 -
Good for you.
The debt free journey can actually be fun and life changing.Mortgage Start - August 2013 £145,000 ************ Balance at April 2017 - £59,000
Target - Overpay by £2,500 each month ************** Mortgage free by December 2018!0 -
What is your side job?Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi0
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FUN.
Are you for real.2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.
2018 plans - reduce debt0 -
Maybe not exactly fun but it is cheering to see the debt go down and know you have a handle on your finances....
OP. you deleted your post about the convention for your side job, so I'm still wondering, what is it? Not an Amway type thing I hope?Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi0 -
Hi, I do some quality assurance work for exam boards. I haven't deleted any posts though taff???0
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I think writing a debt free diary would be helpful for you. It would be a good outlet for these sorts of wobble.
Remember, you're not the first or the last to get into a debt pickle. It doesn't make you a bad person and actually, recognising where you've gone wrong (and trying to remedy problems) is an inherently good thing, right?
174 BPM >> CC Balance (0%) -£3,565.99 - Target DFD Dec 2017 >> Loan (Car) (3.1%) -£19,803.74 - Target DFD Nov 20200 -
Well done for taking steps to start dealing with your debts. Thanks for sharing.
James
@natdebtlineWe work as money advisers for National Debtline and have specific permission from MSE to post to try to help those in debt. Read more information on National Debtline in MSE's Debt Problems: What to do and where to get help guide. If you find you're struggling with debt and need further help try our online advice tool My Money Steps0 -
I like you carried the worry on my own for so long, had such a impact on my health, I had lost my mum and dad and father in law in the space of 14 months was a horrendous time. My husband knew we had debt but didn't know the extent in 2012 I came clean, but I couldn't tell him, I had to write him a letter. After he said he thought I was leaving him, which was a worse thought than the debt. We had no option than to start a dmp, and have 20 more payments and it will all be over. I cant say its been easy, but we have not had credit in all that time, and the debt is finally decreasing. Best of luck on your journey LBM April 2012, started Dmp with Stepchange June 2012 £47k:eek: Proud to finally be dealing with our debts:)
Nov 18 3 more payments to DFD
Dec 18 2 more payments to DFD
Jan 19 1 more payment to DFD
Feb 19 Last Payment now debt free0
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