£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

warby68 · 16 July 2017 at 8:31AM

Although its not much fun, your lightbulb seems to be growing brighter and brighter this last week or two ToPM

Given that you have a very long history of getting most of your kicks from buying (and I think the process of shopping for) 'nice things' and were also quite entrenched in a lifestyle a bit different from the one you can (currently) afford, it IS going to be hard for you. Important therefore to build in enough treats and opportunities to shop so you don't explode and go off the rails.

I think you have a tough few months coming - Summer hols (camping trip 1 already more expensive than you thought so be prepared for more ) and then Christmas starts to loom. Perhaps this could be the month where you really see what you can do with your food budget and get it to tight but realistic rather than aspirational total fail (if you'll forgive me) - this did look like the one thing where you had some potential to save a bit more but where £350 was too much of a stretch.

I really see your way forward as getting budget ( and the spending as they don't yet match up !) fully under control rather than too much debt busting for the time until you get a step change in your income.

I also wonder whether you could reconsider your honestly level with the family member who has lent you money and keeps offering to do so. They obviously want you to have certain things and I wonder what they would do for you if they truly knew your position. I get that this is a very personal matter and family dynamics are complicated but you wouldn't be the first to fall back on some family help. I can't imagine it feels comfortable 'faking it' with them either. Obviously no need to expand on here - just something to keep thinking about.

For now, if you can keep to your work fashion allocation for feeding your 'treat' habit that would be good I think.

Hope you've had a productive weekend and that OH has not bust the budget too greatly

warby68 · 16 July 2017 at 8:31AM

Apologies for essay above (feel free to use it for insomnia if you prefer)

enthusiasticsaver · 16 July 2017 at 8:44PM

I think you have to look at this year as getting to grips with a new way of living within your means. Paying off over £3k in around 6 months is definitely a good step forward though and you are not reaching for credit cards now or adding to the debt as you were previously.

It is important to realise that it will get better as the debt reduces and the monthly payments on debt eventually decrease or drop off altogether so there is light at the end of a very long tunnel. Hopefully once your youngest is at school then your earnings will increase which will help.

Treadingonplaymobil · 16 July 2017 at 9:01PM

Well my hands are now very clean :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: . You crazies. My cashmere needed washing by hand. With rubber gloves on, as it happens, as I had no hand wash stuff left so used a minuscule portion of washing machine stuff.

Ended up getting quite a lot done today, although my lovely pristine house has been somewhat ruined by four noisy smelly campers arriving home, complete with all the gear, which now needs putting away. Sigh.

Thank you for the comments abut the debt payment. I need to cling onto the fact that the worst case scenario is currently that we just keep on plugging away at the current rate and it will be gone in under eight years (and we will get a pay rise of SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS A MONTH), but fingers crossed we can improve on that DFD and get that £700 pay rise a little sooner.

to do today
1. make butterbean soup for dinner. Done. Used up some old carrots too, so frightfully frugal, and loads of leftovers for another dinner and a couple of lunches.
2. feed sourdough. Done.
3. declutter and tidy the DCs' room. Done. So nice when it's clean, until the children come home and exist in it for 27 seconds.
4. go for a walk. Didn't manage this, but did lots of rushing up and down stairs tidying. Practically counts.
5. social media for work. Not done.
6. hand washing. Done

7. order piping bags for making biscuits for clients. Done.
8. do a few hours work. Done, surprisingly.
9. plan work for next week. Done. Busy week ahead, for a huge change.
10. menu plan and my supermarket to check budget. Menu plan done, need to do MySupermarket in the morning.
11. ironing. Not done.
12. give the rest of the house a quick tidy. Done.

to do this week
1. survive MIL visiting. :A
2. continue with cleaning the house thoroughly one room at a time.
3. charity shop run with decluttered stuff that is currently (ironically) cluttering up the hallway.
4. plan out the first couple of weeks of activities for the summer holidays.

Aims for July
1. Pay some extra off the MBNA card - I'd like this card gone asap. Well, a whopping £15 paid on top of the minimum payment so far, hoping to make another payment before end of month.
2. Pay for camping holiday commitments out of self employed income rather than adding to debt. So far so good, but there is one more camping trip to cover in August.
3. Stick to the budget even more closely than in June!

Chrystal · 16 July 2017 at 9:54PM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Well my hands are now very clean :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: . You crazies. My cashmere needed washing by hand. With rubber gloves on, as it happens, as I had no hand wash stuff left so used a minuscule portion of washing machine stuff.

Don't know if you're aware, but the best thing to use for washing cashmere is Shampoo - Cashmere is actually hair.

I've followed your diary from the start, although I haven't commented before, and just want to say I think you're doing a great job. Things will improve swiftly once youngest starts nursery. X

armchairexpert · 17 July 2017 at 2:29AM

They say it takes a couple of months to make a new habit stick, and debt busting isn't just a single habit, it's a bunch. When you look at it like that, it might help to see how many changes you've made. Like in my case, for the first couple of months it felt like I was just cutting back everywhere and sacrificing everything for no reward. But some of those cut backs - like going for a walk when I have half an hour to kill before ballet pick up instead of buying myself a coffee at the local cafe - are now habits and they've become 'just what I do' rather than sacrifices. I automatically bake bread now. That sort of thing. All small things, but as each habit becomes entrenched, it should sort of psychologically disappear from the huge burdensome list of Things You Do To Budget.

It's why it takes so long to turn things around, but once you're facing in the right direction - i.e., your habits have changed enough that your baseline is breaking even without feeling the punch - every bonus payment, unexpected gift or payrise becomes a bit of rocket fuel to power you on.

Treadingonplaymobil · 17 July 2017 at 7:14AM

Week 23: Day 2

Thanks for the shampoo tip Chrystal! I've heard it before but had forgotten it.

Armchair you are definitely right about hassles becoming habits - so many things that seemed an enormous performance initially have become easier over time. Although some things have just stayed drudgey. Hopefully they will become automatic eventually too!

All the usual end of term shenanigans here this week - sports days, school picnics etc, and I'm trying to squeeze in the usual work in between. Yay me. Counting down to the summer holidays, but also aware I haven't got as much work done as I want to, so the first few days will be a bit hectic!

Have DC1 and 2's sports days today, and a school picnic for which I have precisely zero food, having not been food shopping, so will be dashing out this morning to grab something before doing the proper food shop this afternoon.

to do today
1. make sourdough.
2. unpack and put away camping gear.
3. shop for picnic bits.
4. laundry
5. ironing
6. mysupermarket to check food budget
7. food shopping

to do this week
1. survive MIL visiting. :A
2. continue with cleaning the house thoroughly one room at a time.
3. charity shop run with decluttered stuff that is currently (ironically) cluttering up the hallway.
4. plan out the first couple of weeks of activities for the summer holidays.

Aims for July
1. Pay some extra off the MBNA card - I'd like this card gone asap. Well, a whopping £15 paid on top of the minimum payment so far, hoping to make another payment before end of month.
2. Pay for camping holiday commitments out of self employed income rather than adding to debt. So far so good, but there is one more camping trip to cover in August.
3. Stick to the budget even more closely than in June!

Silver_Queen · 17 July 2017 at 10:06AM

TOPM, I have been feeling the DFW drudgery too lately. I think it's the time of year. I just wanted to pop in to cheer you on because GIRL, you are a MACHINE. I am impressed by you on a daily basis, I don't understand how you get so much done!

Cherryfudge · 17 July 2017 at 11:21AM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Week 21: Day 7
... I'm also thinking of further splitting some of those budget pots that I keep tapping (Christmas, car maintenance, holidays etc) so that they are for more definite things (e.g. Christmas divided by person, a category for food, a category for extra activities etc) so I can see very clearly what I'm doing to my budget pots if I snafffle money from them. Most of my budgeting seems to be about counter-acting my amazing ability to persuade myself that whatever I want to spend on right now is the most crucial thing ever and I can manage the fall out later. Slightly embarrassing, but I'd rather accept the way I am and plan for it than pretend I am suddenly going to get a responsible head on and go 'oh yes, better not spend any money.'

Just back from a week away to a mountain of posts, 63 of them on your thread! I'm going to resist the temptation to comment on all and sundry but just wanted to say this (above) is such a good idea. 'Know thyself'... if you can outwit yourself and are really determined to keep your eye on the long-term goal not the short term 'needs' and 'rewards', I think you are much more likely to succeed.

Cherryfudge · 17 July 2017 at 11:28AM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

4. Order cat scarer thing for front lawn from amazon, and throw in a washing up bowl while I'm on Amazon (have literally not placed an amazon order since I started this hunt, and they have lots of WUBs as add on items). Done. A WASHING UP BOWL IS HEADING TO TOPM HQ PEOPLE.

I know I wasn't going to comment again but... I am totally baffled as to whether to yell 'Yeeesss!' or 'Nooooo!' How will I recognise your posts now?

£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

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