It's only just this past month that I've realised how much debt i'm actually in. I'm so glad I did, otherwise I'd carry on the way I was for who knows how long. I actually can't remember the last time I wasn't trying to pay my card off.

I finally went through my statements and realised that I have amassed just over £12.5k over 5 CCs! I didn't even realise, I think because I just keep shifting the balance from my main CC, and sort of putting it to the back of my mind, so I "only" had the £3k that was left on that one. I think I had a mini heart attack when I realised the true amount. I dread to think how much money I have paid back to them that's gone basically nowhere.

I hope to be debt free in May next year, before my 30th, but a concern I have is that my family don't know how much debt I'm in, and I just constantly worry about them finding out. They know I have one credit card because they know I'm trying to pay it off, but it's so hard to tell them why I can't afford great Christmas or birthday presents, or when my partner is speaking about going on holiday again. It's so difficult to say no to things like that. I don't want to tell them and I don't want them to know. I'm disappointed enough in myself without adding them to it, and I know for sure my dad would hit the roof as he is a "if you don't have the cash for it you can't get it" man. If only I'd listened!

I guess I just wanted someone to know that I am getting on top of it now, without having to disappoint anyone when they find out the truth.

Phew!