Nowhere to live, no money or assets

youngbuck2 · 24 January 2015 at 10:19AM

I'll start off by saying, I know this is all my own doing, that I have been reckless and I am not asking for judgment just advice only. I am without work and soon to be without a place to live in the next week or so. Here's why..

I resigned from my job last week with immediate effect due to an ongoing disciplinary issue which was likely to result in dismissal - there were a few other reasons why I resigned at that point too but I won't go into them. I had my final pay a few days ago from my job.

I did this without finding another job to start immediately, I had to resign due to pressure and every day was becoming a struggle. Basically, I intended to use my final pay to live off whilst I look for a job.

I have suffered from severe anxiety, paranoia and depression for a while even before the disciplinary issue which has been going on for a year. This made things even worse for me and I was off work for a substantial amount of time.

With this, came the usual vices for a lot of people. I turned to alcohol (a lot) and gambling. Some months I would spend my entire surplus money on alcohol and gambling, we are talking £1000+ a month. I have put on a lot of weight, going from 12 stone to 18 stone in 8 months. My blood pressure is now high, my cholesterol is now high. All of which were good a year ago. I am a 28 year old male.

I do not have a very supportive partner or family. I am not close to my family in distance or emotionally, and things have gone from bad to worse with my partner. I feel sorry for her as she has to put up with it, but I have had no one to talk to. We have grown apart and have been on the verge of separating for months.

So now..

I have done what I have done previously. I have gambled all of my surplus money and all my savings and lost it all. I spent over £100 on alcohol the past few days. I just felt so down and hopeless and stupidly thought as I always have done that I could win my way out of my situation. I know it even sounds ridiculous to me, but as a depressed alcoholic with a severe gambling problem, it was an addiction and my judgement is constantly clouded.

I just feel I have no future. I have contemplated suicide in the past few weeks and months when I never would have done so before. I have no qualifications to fall back on, no relevant other experience (my job is was quite niche) and have done it all my life. I have no savings or assets at all to use or sell to live off and have £30k unsecured debt which I haven't paid for months. I have no family or friends I can stay with or who can help. My girlfriend has had enough and has given me a week to leave as she understandably cannot take this any more either, I don't blame her and we are arguing constantly infant of her two children. I have lived with her for a while, she owns the property and I pay her an amount each month as 'rent'. I have no rights to stay here.

Basically, I'm the scum of the earth and the lowest of the low. I have no prospects and the future looks a struggle and bleak. I am extremely paranoid an anxious about everything and have a constant headache. Life was so good a few years ago but this is the worst time I have ever had.

So in the immediate future I am faced with nowhere to live at all, no money to live anywhere as I have gambled all of it, a real desire to drink alcohol to "get away from things" and no job and no prospects of a job. I won't even be able to get a reference from my job as I left under a cloud.

What do I do?

-Where can I go??
-How can I live and eat??

I could never understand people that felt suicidal, but now I can empathise with those who choose that as a way of dealing with things.

In the space of a year I have gone from earning 50k, living comfortably and managing debt to having no job, an alcoholic and gambling addict who hasn't paid his debts for months.

Advice please. :mad:

MisterB1959 · 24 January 2015 at 10:26AM

you've started along the right path by recognising that the issues have been caused by your actions. I cant offer any advice, but I do you wish you well.

dave88uk · 24 January 2015 at 10:27AM

Youngbuck, I read this with the intention of offering some sound advice on emergency housing etc.

However, the is the least of your worries at the moment. As the old saying goes "health is most important".

It's important to have a roof over your head, but in this case it seems quite irrelevant.

I would be advising someone like yourself to seek urgent medical help, which is a priority over social help.

I think it's essential you reel off what you have just said to a Doctor, the immediate alcoholism and depression need treating, far quicker than the impending homelessness.

If you GP surgery is open on a Saturday you can call them, failing that call 111, or failing that google your local NHS Mental Health Trust and ask for the 'Crisis Team'.

Do let us know how you get on with the immediate issue then I'm sure more people will be able to help with housing/getting you life back on track.

happylucky · 24 January 2015 at 10:54AM

Life can go down very fast, as yours appears to have done. It can go up equally fast. Absolutely agree that your health is the immediate priority. You are only 28 and have all the time in the world to turn things around once you have your health back. Sorry to read you are having such a difficult time now. Good luck.

bimbo84 · 24 January 2015 at 1:13PM

You need to contact your local council about emergency accommodation. Failing that is there anyone who would be able to lend you money for a deposit and rent in advance for a bedsit or something? If so get them to pay it direct so you won't be tempted to gamble it.

There's a good chance you won't get jsa as you resigned but you might well qualify for esa which would seem more appropriate given your health issues. You should then be able to get housing benefit. You'll only get the shared room rate as you're under 35 so make sure you go for the cheapest (safe) accommodation available. There might be a way to get that paid direct too.

Most importantly, see your doctor asap.

Pixie5740 · 24 January 2015 at 1:57PM

Did you contact Shelter last month or speak to anyone about the property you own with your ex?

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5125281&page=3

Your health is your priority so seek professional help.

Levi- · 24 January 2015 at 2:05PM

I'm so sorry to hear about this.

I agree that you need to take your health as the first priority as you are probably in the most high risk group across many areas for doing something silly and it is fully understandable that you may think that is a good solution.
There is a strength in you which is what has made it possible for you to post here today and for that you should be very proud of yourself - its a great first step.

What I would suggest you do now, is take yourself to A&E for your suicidal thoughts and ensure that you are taken seriously and provided with the resources to tackle your housing and other immediate needs. Have you heard of Maytree? Google that too, they are wonderful. I wish I could say more but I identify with your struggles enormously - the things we turn to to cope become the very things that make us end up worse and stuck in a cyclone of destruction. Take positive steps, as small as they are, and in a few years from now this will all be a horrible memory-- and one you can take so many precious lessons from to become a better person - I promise you that. Keep your head up high brother.

ruggedtoast · 24 January 2015 at 2:26PM

youngbuck2 wrote: »

I'll start off by saying, I know this is all my own doing, that I have been reckless and I am not asking for judgment just advice only. I am without work and soon to be without a place to live in the next week or so. Here's why..

I resigned from my job last week with immediate effect due to an ongoing disciplinary issue which was likely to result in dismissal - there were a few other reasons why I resigned at that point too but I won't go into them. I had my final pay a few days ago from my job.

I did this without finding another job to start immediately, I had to resign due to pressure and every day was becoming a struggle. Basically, I intended to use my final pay to live off whilst I look for a job.

I have suffered from severe anxiety, paranoia and depression for a while even before the disciplinary issue which has been going on for a year. This made things even worse for me and I was off work for a substantial amount of time.

With this, came the usual vices for a lot of people. I turned to alcohol (a lot) and gambling. Some months I would spend my entire surplus money on alcohol and gambling, we are talking £1000+ a month. I have put on a lot of weight, going from 12 stone to 18 stone in 8 months. My blood pressure is now high, my cholesterol is now high. All of which were good a year ago. I am a 28 year old male.

I do not have a very supportive partner or family. I am not close to my family in distance or emotionally, and things have gone from bad to worse with my partner. I feel sorry for her as she has to put up with it, but I have had no one to talk to. We have grown apart and have been on the verge of separating for months.

So now..

I have done what I have done previously. I have gambled all of my surplus money and all my savings and lost it all. I spent over £100 on alcohol the past few days. I just felt so down and hopeless and stupidly thought as I always have done that I could win my way out of my situation. I know it even sounds ridiculous to me, but as a depressed alcoholic with a severe gambling problem, it was an addiction and my judgement is constantly clouded.

I just feel I have no future. I have contemplated suicide in the past few weeks and months when I never would have done so before. I have no qualifications to fall back on, no relevant other experience (my job is was quite niche) and have done it all my life. I have no savings or assets at all to use or sell to live off and have £30k unsecured debt which I haven't paid for months. I have no family or friends I can stay with or who can help. My girlfriend has had enough and has given me a week to leave as she understandably cannot take this any more either, I don't blame her and we are arguing constantly infant of her two children. I have lived with her for a while, she owns the property and I pay her an amount each month as 'rent'. I have no rights to stay here.

Basically, I'm the scum of the earth and the lowest of the low. I have no prospects and the future looks a struggle and bleak. I am extremely paranoid an anxious about everything and have a constant headache. Life was so good a few years ago but this is the worst time I have ever had.

So in the immediate future I am faced with nowhere to live at all, no money to live anywhere as I have gambled all of it, a real desire to drink alcohol to "get away from things" and no job and no prospects of a job. I won't even be able to get a reference from my job as I left under a cloud.

What do I do?

-Where can I go??
-How can I live and eat??

I could never understand people that felt suicidal, but now I can empathise with those who choose that as a way of dealing with things.

In the space of a year I have gone from earning 50k, living comfortably and managing debt to having no job, an alcoholic and gambling addict who hasn't paid his debts for months.

Advice please. :mad:

Its good that you are reaching out for help as that means you have taken the first step to sorting your life out.

Problems such as you outline are cyclical, thus it can be hard to see where to begin unravelling the knot. Did the drinking start the depression which led to the money problems which led to the gambling - and so on.

Your GP should be your first port of call as you badly need help with your drinking, depression, and gambling addiction. They will be able to refer you to the services that can help you here.

As you are at risk of homelessness the council are your next port of call. Start researching homeless charities and hostels in your area, contact Shelter, and hit up anyone who might give you a bed, too.

Anyone would feel down faced with what you have outlined, so concentrate on taking one day at a time and have faith that abandoning drink and Poker will make an immeasurable, and vert rapid, improvement to your mental health alone.

PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Nowhere to live, no money or assets

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