Am I being unreasonable? Teenager's untidy room

Kathy535 · 24 October 2014 at 1:22PM

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My daughter is 18 and spends most of her time, when she's not at college, work or out with friends, in her room - which is a tip! It's really bad, you can't see the floor, it smells, her wardrobe doors can't be shut etc. I've tried not to put pressure on her as it is her room and she should feel at home there but it makes me shudder (and I don't consider myself massively house proud!)

She's away on a school trip at the moment and I had run out of glasses so ventured in to see what I could find. 16 empty coke cans, 8 teaspoons, 8 glasses, 3 plates, any number of empty and half empty food packets (Doritos, Jaffa cakes, kinder eggs etc etc etc).

So, untidiness (slovenliness) is one things but unhygienicness (sp?) is entirely another. Am I being unreasonable to insist she keeps her room tidy? And any tips to help her keep it that way?

System · 24 October 2014 at 1:30PM

My son knows that if he doesn't clean his room I will clean it for him.... which is something he hates. He is untidy yes (but I'm a neat freak, I know). I struggle with his standards and no doubt he struggles with mine.

However, I don't think its too much to ask to ask your daughter to keep her room in a hygienic state. Personally I'd freak if I'd walked into that sort of mess.

heartbreak_star · 24 October 2014 at 1:32PM

Mum would ask me to bring glasses/plates down. I'd go "Yeah, OK" and then forget.

When she heard me thundering down, I'd get halfway and she'd block the bottom and go "Crockery?" at which point I'd sheepishly retreat and get it...

HBS x

JWM · 24 October 2014 at 1:32PM

Judi wrote: »

My son knows that if he doesn't clean his room I will clean him for him.... which is something he hates. He is untidy yes (but I'm a neat freak, I know). I struggle with his standards and no doubt he struggles with mine.

This. DS is not too bad, but if it gets in a real state I give him a 3 day warning.....never fails.

:beer:

notanewuser · 24 October 2014 at 1:33PM

Kathy535 wrote: »

My daughter is 18 and spends most of her time, when she's not at college, work or out with friends, in her room - which is a tip! It's really bad, you can't see the floor, it smells, her wardrobe doors can't be shut etc. I've tried not to put pressure on her as it is her room and she should feel at home there but it makes me shudder (and I don't consider myself massively house proud!)

She's away on a school trip at the moment and I had run out of glasses so ventured in to see what I could find. 16 empty coke cans, 8 teaspoons, 8 glasses, 3 plates, any number of empty and half empty food packets (Doritos, Jaffa cakes, kinder eggs etc etc etc).

So, untidiness (slovenliness) is one things but unhygienicness (sp?) is entirely another. Am I being unreasonable to insist she keeps her room tidy? And any tips to help her keep it that way?

Sounds just like my room as a teenager. My sister kept hers cleaner than a serial killer's. I know which worries me more.

:rotfl:

GobbledyGook · 24 October 2014 at 1:33PM

I tend to be of the feeling that behind the bedroom door is the business of the room occupier, but if it's affecting the rest of the house then it's not unreasonable to set some rules.

Is it food that smells? That's not on because it could attract pests.

Rather than insist on keeping the room tidy (which sounds like it'd be a big job and could lead to disagreements over what is tidy and what is not) what about insisting on things that will help with the hygiene aspect?

So no food in bedrooms perhaps? Maybe give her her own glass/cup so that if she wants to use it again she has to bring it out?

sulphate · 24 October 2014 at 1:41PM

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I tend to be of the feeling that behind the bedroom door is the business of the room occupier, but if it's affecting the rest of the house then it's not unreasonable to set some rules.

Is it food that smells? That's not on because it could attract pests.

Rather than insist on keeping the room tidy (which sounds like it'd be a big job and could lead to disagreements over what is tidy and what is not) what about insisting on things that will help with the hygiene aspect?

So no food in bedrooms perhaps? Maybe give her her own glass/cup so that if she wants to use it again she has to bring it out?

This is a good idea, when I was a teenager my parents wouldn't let me take plates and food to my room. Eating was for downstairs, I expect the fact we were expected to sit round the table together for every meal helped a bit.

GobbledyGook · 24 October 2014 at 1:45PM

sulphate wrote: »

This is a good idea, when I was a teenager my parents wouldn't let me take plates and food to my room. Eating was for downstairs, I expect the fact we were expected to sit round the table together for every meal helped a bit.

My brother was terrible for it. My grandparents ended up giving us all our own plate, bowl, cup and glass for a while. Cans of juice had to be poured into the glass and if your plate wasn't in the kitchen when dinner was ready he got serious grief. He soon learned it was easier just to eat and drink in the living room or kitchen!

System · 24 October 2014 at 1:45PM

I would at least go in and open a window to let the musty air out. Maybe when she wants to bring friends or boyfriends back she will start to be a bit more tidy and hygienic? I wouldn't visit someone whose room was so disgusting.

dandelionclock30 · 24 October 2014 at 1:46PM

I'd tell her to clean it once a week otherwize she has to move out. I'd offer to help her but I wouldnt have my house put at risk of getting mice and rats.

balletshoes · 24 October 2014 at 1:50PM

I wouldn't (and don't) insist that the bedroom is tidy, but I don't allow my DD to take food upstairs to her room at all, unless she has friends round, and then I remind her to bring it all back downstairs.

Am I being unreasonable? Teenager's untidy room

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