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Lunch with Colleagues - don't know what to do
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gibson123
Posts: 1,733 Forumite
Sorry about the long post.
Today we had a bit of a girls lunch at our favourite restaurant. A colleague (we'll call her Thingy) who I don't get along with invited herself along. I avoided any conflict by sitting as far away as possible from her.
Now this is our favourite restaurant, close to work and we really like the staff. here's what happened.
We had a lovely lunch and our bill came to £116 including drinks. As it's close to Christmas, we agreed to pay £15 each and leave a decent tip. While the usual searching through handbags and purses was going on, Thingy said she was just popping out to the cash-line, anyway when she came back, she said it was too cold out so she had settled the bill with her card, she then picked up £135 from the table. We all went off to work, no problems. In the afternoon I noticed I had left my scarf at the restaurant, so popped into the restaurant on the way home. The Manager/ Owner who is really friendly asked me to join him for a cup of coffee. Anyway he asked if we had not received good service, I said no we had a lovely time, why did he ask, he said he had a new girl serving us and as we did not leave a tip as was our custom, he assumed we were unhappy or she had upset us.
I was really embarrassed and said there must have been some misunderstanding as we had left a bigger tip than usual, he then checked and showed the receipt and it showed just over £116 paid.
Basically Thingy got a free meal and £19 for her trouble.
I am really angry... The dilemma is that I don't know whether to say anything or not. She has made things very difficult for me since I complained about the way she treated a junior member of staff and accused me of bullying her (not true, she was doing the bullying). I try to have as little as possible to do with her, but I know she is constantly trying to undermine me and caused problems for me with a senior manager. I soon sorted that out and she knows not to pull stunts around me now, and we keep out of each others way. My sense of fairness says I should tell my colleagues but I can't stand the thought of her restarting a war with me, I hate silly games and frankly haven't the energy to deal with the pettiness, any advice please?
Today we had a bit of a girls lunch at our favourite restaurant. A colleague (we'll call her Thingy) who I don't get along with invited herself along. I avoided any conflict by sitting as far away as possible from her.
Now this is our favourite restaurant, close to work and we really like the staff. here's what happened.
We had a lovely lunch and our bill came to £116 including drinks. As it's close to Christmas, we agreed to pay £15 each and leave a decent tip. While the usual searching through handbags and purses was going on, Thingy said she was just popping out to the cash-line, anyway when she came back, she said it was too cold out so she had settled the bill with her card, she then picked up £135 from the table. We all went off to work, no problems. In the afternoon I noticed I had left my scarf at the restaurant, so popped into the restaurant on the way home. The Manager/ Owner who is really friendly asked me to join him for a cup of coffee. Anyway he asked if we had not received good service, I said no we had a lovely time, why did he ask, he said he had a new girl serving us and as we did not leave a tip as was our custom, he assumed we were unhappy or she had upset us.
I was really embarrassed and said there must have been some misunderstanding as we had left a bigger tip than usual, he then checked and showed the receipt and it showed just over £116 paid.
Basically Thingy got a free meal and £19 for her trouble.
I am really angry... The dilemma is that I don't know whether to say anything or not. She has made things very difficult for me since I complained about the way she treated a junior member of staff and accused me of bullying her (not true, she was doing the bullying). I try to have as little as possible to do with her, but I know she is constantly trying to undermine me and caused problems for me with a senior manager. I soon sorted that out and she knows not to pull stunts around me now, and we keep out of each others way. My sense of fairness says I should tell my colleagues but I can't stand the thought of her restarting a war with me, I hate silly games and frankly haven't the energy to deal with the pettiness, any advice please?
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Comments
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If it were me I would have to say something! She stolen from you all!
Even if you don't directly say something to her, I would confide in another colleague who was part of the dinner party, and see what they think.0 -
Did you get a copy of the receipt from him?
I'd probably pay him the difference myself, take a photo of the receipt that he had, go to a manager and ask them what they want you to do as your colleague has basically stolen from all of you.
I have a thingy at work as well, and if she did this to us I'd be livid too. I'm sure most people would be.If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0 -
You need to speak to all of the other people at lunch with you. Then you collectively need to tackle her about it.
It's outrageous behaviour. And it's thieving if nothing else. If she can be so blatant about that, what else will she getup to?Eat vegetables and fear no creditors, rather than eat duck and hide.0 -
I would tell the other girls that was also out with you and let them tackle her about it. Why should you lot pay and she get a free meal and money on top?
If your going out again and you think she's inviting herself along just say that you've booked a table for so many so there is no room.
Steph xx0 -
Could you persuade the manager to contact you/ whoever booked it to 'apologise' if the service was poor/ or ask for feedback on the new member of staff? I know it would be difficult to word it to refer to a lack of tip but that would take the onus off of you and other people would then know what had happened?
IMO this is theft, but given your previous difficulties you need to tread very carefully incase you put yourself in a position where she can accuse you of bullying again.Boots: £107.xx on AC :j
Tesco CC: £48.00/ £192 in deals:p
ipoints: 3659
lightspeed panels:5200 -
Can you tackle her in a way that allows her to save face? Like suggesting it was an honest mistake she made in a hurry? Even if it almost certainly wasn't, at least that way she has an "out" and is slightly less likely to dig her heels in and lie about it.0
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of course you must tell the others! Thingy has stolen from all of you and put your rep as good customers on the line. What a nasty peice of work she is! you should all get together and decide on your course of action.0
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tell her she can expense the lunch, and you need the receipt to claim it.
She has lost it? oh no worries, you'll get a copy from the manager.0 -
Could you persuade the manager to contact you/ whoever booked it to 'apologise' if the service was poor/ or ask for feedback on the new member of staff? I know it would be difficult to word it to refer to a lack of tip but that would take the onus off of you and other people would then know what had happened?
IMO this is theft, but given your previous difficulties you need to tread very carefully incase you put yourself in a position where she can accuse you of bullying again.
You have got to the root of my reluctance, she raised a grievance about me before and it took ages to sort out. The grievance accused me of bullying her when I had only taken her aside and asked her to go easier on the junior staff member. The result of this was that the member of staff was transferred into my team from hers, we are on the same level.
I would not hesitate if it was anyone else, but she is very good at playing the victim and is a known complainer.0 -
Personally, I would not speak to the people at lunch with you unless one is senior to you and can take it further without the issue of the previous instance clouding the picture.
If there is no one in that position I would go to a manager who did not go to the lunch, present him with the copies of receipt and a description of what happened, say you haven't told any one else and are wary because of the previous incident but that you see this as a dishonest action for which you wuld like to see resolved.0
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