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  • FIRST POST
    • Raksha
    • By Raksha 23rd Apr 11, 12:57 PM
    • 4,519Posts
    • 6,095Thanks
    Raksha
    Social anxiety
    • #1
    • 23rd Apr 11, 12:57 PM
    Social anxiety 23rd Apr 11 at 12:57 PM
    Does anyone else on here suffer with this condition?

    I left school aged 17, did approx 3 months working with horses (which was my ambition) until my Dr advised that I give it up as I sustained a minor back injury. From then I temped, worked in a bookshop, but never managed to stay in a job for more than a year - always panicking and handing in my notice when I felt I wasn't always achieving 100% - this was in the days before 'annual reviews'. After 5 years (and probably 10 different jobs) I had my first son (and my first bout of PND), I returned to work temping when #1 son was 3 or 4, and within 6 months had a nervous breakdown. Got better, and went back to work again, and started repeating the same pattern - changing jobs within a year - until in 1987 I found a job I really enjoyed, only to be made redundant, got another job, settled in to that, and got sacked for a minor mistake (I'd been there just shy of the 2 years you needed back then to be 'secure')

    At this point my marriage also broke down, and for 13 years I didn't work as I was continuing to raise #1 son, plus the 2 younger children I had with my new partner. I started Mystery Shopping and running my own Dog Training classes, but that started to bring on the anxiety again - was i completing the MS questionaires correctly, was I going to get paid, were the classes I was running going to be operating with full classes so I could make a profit?

    Eventually I went back to temping (and burst into tears the first time I was told I wasn't needed back) and then found myself being offered a perm job - which turned out to be the companies way of getting my services on the cheap to cover maternity leave. I was knocked for 6 by this, but managed to find a lovely part time job soon after, although I found this stressful, it was fun and I enjoyed the company of my boss. then that all went 'tits up' with the local government cuts and I'm out of work again and just about to celebrate the first anniversay of starting to take anti depressants which just about keep my above water.

    Now I feel anxious at the thought of even applying for a job, I've been invited to interviews for jobs that say 'must be able to work under pressure' and I've had to explain that I can't do that. My OH says 'you can't live like this' but I don't know how to change it - I've asked my Dr for CBT, but there's no budget for it. I've had 6 weeks councelling for family problems, and a further 24 weeks as a rape survivor. I think a lot of my problem comes from being adopted and rejected 3 times by my birth mother.
    Last edited by Raksha; 23-04-2011 at 4:57 PM.
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
Page 1
    • the devil made me do it
    • By the devil made me do it 23rd Apr 11, 3:57 PM
    • 5,381 Posts
    • 2,252 Thanks
    the devil made me do it
    • #2
    • 23rd Apr 11, 3:57 PM
    • #2
    • 23rd Apr 11, 3:57 PM
    I appreciate what your trying to express, but to avoid un-helpful & potential insulting replies, I'd change the topic title.
    • McKneff
    • By McKneff 23rd Apr 11, 4:02 PM
    • 34,350 Posts
    • 44,119 Thanks
    McKneff
    • #3
    • 23rd Apr 11, 4:02 PM
    • #3
    • 23rd Apr 11, 4:02 PM
    Delete the 'Work Phobia' bit, for your own sake.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
    • GlasweJen
    • By GlasweJen 23rd Apr 11, 8:46 PM
    • 5,507 Posts
    • 9,847 Thanks
    GlasweJen
    • #4
    • 23rd Apr 11, 8:46 PM
    • #4
    • 23rd Apr 11, 8:46 PM
    Is there a specialist rape recovery team where you are? The one in Glasgow (called archways I think) can refer for CBT in its own right and their budget is greater than GPs for it.
    We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 23rd Apr 11, 9:47 PM
    • 16,271 Posts
    • 42,578 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    • #5
    • 23rd Apr 11, 9:47 PM
    • #5
    • 23rd Apr 11, 9:47 PM
    I'm not sure how helpful it will be but i know of two online CBT programs

    MoodGYM-http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

    and

    Living Life To The Full-http://www.llttf.com/

    both were recommended by my OT and CPN
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
  • when will it end
    • #6
    • 23rd Apr 11, 10:15 PM
    • #6
    • 23rd Apr 11, 10:15 PM
    i suffered this 10+ years ago
    CBT helped me out of the rut
    good luck
  • CFC
    • #7
    • 24th Apr 11, 3:00 AM
    • #7
    • 24th Apr 11, 3:00 AM

    Now I feel anxious at the thought of even applying for a job, I've been invited to interviews for jobs that say 'must be able to work under pressure' and I've had to explain that I can't do that. My OH says 'you can't live like this' but I don't know how to change it - I've asked my Dr for CBT, but there's no budget for it. .
    Originally posted by Raksha
    Do you absolutely have to work? Is it not possible to keep afloat with dog training and perhaps dog walking? I know that there is always the anxiety about whether the classes will be full, but at least that is partially under your control. When you work for an employer very little is under your control.

    The economic environment is not the easiest for finding work when you don't feel reasonably robust about it.
    • lilly81
    • By lilly81 24th Apr 11, 11:14 AM
    • 565 Posts
    • 2,254 Thanks
    lilly81
    • #8
    • 24th Apr 11, 11:14 AM
    • #8
    • 24th Apr 11, 11:14 AM
    Hiya,
    Your situation sounds similar to mine. It took a lot to get the help im now on the waiting list to receive!
    Which area do you live in?
    I have a physciatric nurse visit me fortnightly (was weekly) to monitor my mood and am waiting for a place on a 18 month course from the complex needs team. This is because past negative experiences have formed my personality to have extreame reactions to things.
    Things will get better, slowly but surely
    Lillyx
    Debt 03/08/08 £4805.26
    Debt free date 23rd march 2009

    • Raksha
    • By Raksha 24th Apr 11, 1:18 PM
    • 4,519 Posts
    • 6,095 Thanks
    Raksha
    • #9
    • 24th Apr 11, 1:18 PM
    • #9
    • 24th Apr 11, 1:18 PM
    Thanks so much for all the help. I don't *have* to work - we are on a DMP which will probably take about 6 years to clear so long as the interest charges don't go up, but my OH is putting the pressure on - my JSA agreement is for between 16 - 30 hours a week and perm position only, but I will run out of 'contributions based' payments mid June. My children enjoy having me at home (mainly to referee between them and their Dad)
    I will certainly have a look at the online CBT stuff.
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
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