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  • FIRST POST
    Raksha
    Social anxiety
    • #1
    • 23rd Apr 11, 12:57 PM
    Social anxiety 23rd Apr 11 at 12:57 PM
    Does anyone else on here suffer with this condition?

    I left school aged 17, did approx 3 months working with horses (which was my ambition) until my Dr advised that I give it up as I sustained a minor back injury. From then I temped, worked in a bookshop, but never managed to stay in a job for more than a year - always panicking and handing in my notice when I felt I wasn't always achieving 100% - this was in the days before 'annual reviews'. After 5 years (and probably 10 different jobs) I had my first son (and my first bout of PND), I returned to work temping when #1 son was 3 or 4, and within 6 months had a nervous breakdown. Got better, and went back to work again, and started repeating the same pattern - changing jobs within a year - until in 1987 I found a job I really enjoyed, only to be made redundant, got another job, settled in to that, and got sacked for a minor mistake (I'd been there just shy of the 2 years you needed back then to be 'secure')

    At this point my marriage also broke down, and for 13 years I didn't work as I was continuing to raise #1 son, plus the 2 younger children I had with my new partner. I started Mystery Shopping and running my own Dog Training classes, but that started to bring on the anxiety again - was i completing the MS questionaires correctly, was I going to get paid, were the classes I was running going to be operating with full classes so I could make a profit?

    Eventually I went back to temping (and burst into tears the first time I was told I wasn't needed back) and then found myself being offered a perm job - which turned out to be the companies way of getting my services on the cheap to cover maternity leave. I was knocked for 6 by this, but managed to find a lovely part time job soon after, although I found this stressful, it was fun and I enjoyed the company of my boss. then that all went 'tits up' with the local government cuts and I'm out of work again and just about to celebrate the first anniversay of starting to take anti depressants which just about keep my above water.

    Now I feel anxious at the thought of even applying for a job, I've been invited to interviews for jobs that say 'must be able to work under pressure' and I've had to explain that I can't do that. My OH says 'you can't live like this' but I don't know how to change it - I've asked my Dr for CBT, but there's no budget for it. I've had 6 weeks councelling for family problems, and a further 24 weeks as a rape survivor. I think a lot of my problem comes from being adopted and rejected 3 times by my birth mother.
    Last edited by Raksha; 23-04-2011 at 4:57 PM.
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
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