Please help??? It's still too much to deal with alone.....

Ava8 · 7 June 2010 at 7:04PM

I have been posting my questions on the forum but I am aware that there are hundreds out there who also need help, Folks I am falling apart here. Sleeping on my sofa with my dogs isn't helping my mood either. I am crying constantly and want to curl up and die. That has been a thought i must admit, but my dog keeps me going. We have 4 but one will be leaving with me. As will my 17yr old son. This is a living hell.

I am working my way through the forms for my BR and am so lost. My husband does not want anymore to do with me, my family (whats left) live in Scotland, i'm in Northern Ireland, and can't ask anyone for help. You are all so good on here, you give such comfort in a strange 'virtual' way. Lol

Do I put down my husbands income? We are still going to go ahead with the divorce but i am staying here until i can get myself straightened out.
He pays most of the bills and the big monthly mortgage repayment. (we have no arrears) His IVA is looming.
How do i separate the expenses?
Will the OR want to see my bills?
Should i take my valuations up with me when i file on 17th June (in Belfast)
My mortgage is 173,500k and the house is valued at 172,000k to 174,000k approx according to 2 agents in Town. Do you think they will force a sale at that?
Will the OR make allowances for me to be preparing to get money together for rent if i can manage to move?
Because I was sick with a tumour (2005 and again in 2007 / 2009) and had to stop work for surgery and then just kept temping in between more surgery and more time off - this made my debts almost impossible to catch up on again - was in my DMP for 2yrs paying 160 a month but didn't even make a dent in it. should I write this bit in where it asks for reasons for debt, as well as the building disaster - or will i sound like a complete loser?
I work full time and make 1,000 after tax.

I know i'm a pain, sorry but i have tried to ask these questions on the forum but the replies have been scarce and i'm trying to fill in my forms this week in readiness. Getting really scared now.

Does anyone have a proforma for I&E, I don't know how to do it???

Once again, sorry for taking up so much of your time.
p.s. nearly died when i realised my total debt is 62,500k

You all helped me before, please help again.

confused76 · 7 June 2010 at 7:13PM

hiya hun i am just in the middle of cooking my tea but didn't want to read and run....

you're not a pain, ask away that's what we're here for

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
here is the soa calculator, if you want to post it here for advice once complete click format for mse and copy and paste here
if others haven't answered your other questions when i've had my tea i'll pop back don't worry

we'll get there, easy to say don't worry but we'll try and help as best we can xxx

JCS1 · 7 June 2010 at 7:15PM

Just responded on your other thread.

Please take a break from the form filling for a bit. Take the dogs for a walkand try to clear your mind. You will get through this.

Also, if you are feeling low please make sure you go and talk to your Doctor.

The forums tend to be a bit quieter at this time of day with people getting in form work, etc, but there will be more people around later on who will help you.

debtinfo · 7 June 2010 at 7:21PM

Ava8 wrote: »

I have been posting my questions on the forum but I am aware that there are hundreds out there who also need help, Folks I am falling apart here. Sleeping on my sofa with my dogs isn't helping my mood either. I am crying constantly and want to curl up and die. That has been a thought i must admit, but my dog keeps me going. We have 4 but one will be leaving with me. As will my 17yr old son. This is a living hell.

I am working my way through the forms for my BR and am so lost. My husband does not want anymore to do with me, my family (whats left) live in Scotland, i'm in Northern Ireland, and can't ask anyone for help. You are all so good on here, you give such comfort in a strange 'virtual' way. Lol
Do I put down my husbands income? We are still going to go ahead with the divorce but i am staying here until i can get myself straightened out. Put the situation as it is now, there is usually scope to tell them when changes actually happen. Do put a note in the back to try and explain the current the situation, the golden rule is that you can never give to much information

He pays most of the bills and the big monthly mortgage repayment. (we have no arrears) His IVA is looming.

How do i separate the expenses? Dont, but the full household income and the full household expenses, remember cant give to much info.

Will the OR want to see my bills? Normally only if they are significantly more than the average.

Should i take my valuations up with me when i file on 17th June (in Belfast) Normally they write to you later when they need them

My mortgage is 173,500k and the house is valued at 172,000k to 174,000k approx according to 2 agents in Town. Do you think they will force a sale at that? No, at least not within the first couple of years they may do much later if you have not bought the interest back and the house has risen significantly in value, Normally your half would need to be worth £10,000 before they would force a sale

Will the OR make allowances for me to be preparing to get money together for rent if i can manage to move? Some may, some dont, there is no rule saying that they have to but some will

Because I was sick with a tumour (2005 and again in 2007 / 2009) and had to stop work for surgery and then just kept temping in between more surgery and more time off - this made my debts almost impossible to catch up on again - was in my DMP for 2yrs paying 160 a month but didn't even make a dent in it. should I write this bit in where it asks for reasons for debt, as well as the building disaster - or will i sound like a complete loser? No the more reasons you can give the better, also if you have been in a DMP for 2 years and havent used more credit, make this clear as it is in you favour that you have been doing your best to pay as mch as possible. Believe me there is almost nothing they have not seen before

I work full time and make 1,000 after tax.

I know i'm a pain, sorry but i have tried to ask these questions on the forum but the replies have been scarce and i'm trying to fill in my forms this week in readiness. Getting really scared now.

Does anyone have a proforma for I&E, I don't know how to do it???

Once again, sorry for taking up so much of your time.
p.s. nearly died when i realised my total debt is 62,500k

You all helped me before, please help again.

Hi AVA, THere is no need to appologise for asking questions, the problem is that so few people on here are from NI, no one can be sure of the exact answer and dont want to mis-advise you. I have answered as would be the answers in england and wales but i cannot guarantee that these will be correct for NI, they should be close though.

I hope they help

Lastly, although we may not know all of the answers, ou are not on your own, you are welcome to come in the Bankruptcy Inn for some light relief

Darnit_2 · 7 June 2010 at 8:02PM

Sweet heart you must never apologise for needing a bit of help. We all do sometimes you know. I was like you at the start, crying all the time, not able to sleep, frightened, ashamed...etc. But you know deep down it has to get better. When you hit the bottom, the only way is up!

I can honestly say that 8 months later, although there are still things to deal with, my life is a lot better in every way. My own feelings, my work, my relationships....all improved because I faced facts. I would say it gets better slowly at first, then after about 3 months, something clicks and you start to relax about it all. Just needs a new routine.

The previous posts are right, you need someone with NI knowledge, but I think england rules would be very similar. Take each day as it comes, baby steps, but filling in the forms as best as you can will get a weight off your shoulders.

Sunnylooloo · 8 June 2010 at 9:35AM

Hi Ava

I'm sorry but I can't add anything to what has been said above, but I just wanted you to know that I'm still reading your threads and just here for general support.

As everyone as said, never never feel silly or awkward about asking anything that is why we are here.

Take Care
LL
x

curly04 · 8 June 2010 at 9:48AM

Ava8

You are never allone now you have found this forum - Unless your in the Inn and they put you in the naughty corner and leave you there and all go to bed :P

I have found I would say 5 - 6 wonderful friends on this bored over the last 12 months, after BR my marriage broke down and the support I have received off people on here has been better than what I got off some Family and Friends

Never be sorry for asking a question - you should see some of the daft one's I've asked in the past.

Big hug - stay in touch and tonight if you have 5 mins pop in too the BR Inn - last night it was so funny, as Im daft and can't read without my glasses so made a fool of myself

Classylady2010_2 · 8 June 2010 at 9:50AM

my thoughts are with you and I hope you can find peace soon, this forum is a lifesaver, most of us have found solace here. Never be afraid to ask anything, theres always someone who can help. The worse part is you feeling alone, you never will be on here
smiles
cl

IF · 8 June 2010 at 11:15AM

Hello Ava, only echoing what everyone has said and DI is right we are not sure about what advice to give re your BR in NI but we can all give our support. And if no one replies straight away please don't lose heart.
So do come on your thread to let us know how things are going. I know what you mean about your dog too mine kept me going lol x

Take care
If...x

Ava8 · 8 June 2010 at 12:58PM

Thank you all,

My main concern is - do i put down his income as he pays most of the bills anyway. If i do, there shows a disposable income but there isn't actually one as he has his own debt and an IVA. Should i put his money down and do i get a chance to discuss this situation with the OR? My head is in a spin............

curly04 · 8 June 2010 at 12:58PM

why dont you post your SOA up and let us take a look then we can offer you advice

Please help??? It's still too much to deal with alone.....

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