Mother keeps having money stolen

cepheus · 20 March 2012 at 11:23AM

My 88 yr old Mother has recently lost some money again from her bungalow. It is all a bit of a mystery, but she doesn't seem to be vigilant enough to manage cash in the house. She is insistent at having about £250-£500 cash available for independence, although she rarely needs large amounts and we can nip out to a nearby cash till to get the odd £20 or £30 for her. We have recently convinced us to allow us to use her bank card for bill payments though.

I have suggested she keep money in bedroom rather than the living room before the last episode but this fell on death ears and it may only be more sucure in the night. I don't know if someone has stolen it or if she has mislaid it, the former possibility seems more likely now. She does have various home help, people can get in during the day in case of emergency, but I don't entirely rule out someone closer.

If I bought a briefcase with a lock I suppose the entire briefcase would be nicked. Although she has been taken ill recently and is more vulnerable then usual. I have instructions to get £250 for her today! Any ideas are welcome.

Normally live a long distance away but am over for what I hope is a week to sort various issues out, this is just one.

jennifernil · 20 March 2012 at 1:01PM

I am 63 and very vigilant, but I would never consider having large amounts of cash in the house. I rarely keep even £50 in my purse!

Could she not use a cheque book if she needs to pay someone? And if she needs a little cash now and again, is there a sturdy drawer you could fit a lock to? That of course raises the problem of where to keep the key.

alanq · 20 March 2012 at 1:13PM

cepheus wrote: »

We have recently convinced us to allow us to use her bank card for bill payments though.

If you are using her card then you are (at the very least) breaking the bank's Ts&Cs. If Mother is not capable of dealing with things for herself, or even if she is capable at present, you should arrange a Lasting Power Of Attorney. A simple application can be prepared without the help of a solicitor on payment of a fee of £130. This takes a few months to arrange. If the time comes that Mother loses mental capacity and no LPA is in place then it would become far more difficult and even more expensive to arrange to manage her affairs for her.

Another possibility if she has capacity is to open a joint account with her. This has its problems in separating her assets from yours for tax and benefits. Also on her death any of her funds would automatically go to the other account holder(s). This may not be what Mother intends if she wants to bequeath some or all her money to others.

Why use her bank card? Before I got an LPA for my mother I paid her bills with my bank card and she gave me cash or wrote a cheque to repay me.

Mojisola · 20 March 2012 at 2:08PM

Have you thought about setting up a webcam covering where she keeps the money?

Biggles · 20 March 2012 at 2:38PM

Has she really had the money 'stolen'? My mother began to say things like this. On one occasion, the purse turned out to be under the cushion she was sitting on. On another occasion, whilst temporarily in a care home, she claimed that she had come in with £400 and now had hardly anything. Fortunately, my brother recalled that she had actually had £40, not £400.

whitewing · 20 March 2012 at 2:41PM

I wonder if getting a smaller amount out in say, £5 notes, would still make her feel that she had sufficient available without exposing her so much.

Farway · 20 March 2012 at 3:35PM

Biggles wrote: »

Has she really had the money 'stolen'? My mother began to say things like this. On one occasion, the purse turned out to be under the cushion she was sitting on. On another occasion, whilst temporarily in a care home, she claimed that she had come in with £400 and now had hardly anything. Fortunately, my brother recalled that she had actually had £40, not £400.

I had same with my mother, purse turned up everywhere, as did tea bags etc

She also insisted on having over £100 in cash, despite not being able to go anywhere & buy anything

Not very helpful I'm afraid, but it does not get easier

[Deleted User] · 20 March 2012 at 10:03PM

To the OP -

You MUST find out who is coming to the house. What visitors does she have i.e carers? Has anyone come round trying to sell something? People saying they need to turn the water off as they are working nearby? Children asking to use the toilet? These are common tactics to distract a householder whilst something is stolen - it is classed as distraction burglary.

If mum is 88 and living alone perhaps she would benefit from a social services assessment to see if there is any help she could be entitled to which would also help to safeguard her.

It would also be well worth contacting her local police force on the non emergency national number - 101 - and asking for them to carry out a crime prevention visit.

Also, the local fire brigade can attend and check/fit smoke alarms for free. (They did for my mum anyway).

carefullycautious · 21 March 2012 at 6:01PM

I would check everywhere in case she has mislaid it or hidden it. If you still cant find it I would report it to the care manager in charge of the carers so at least they are aware of this. Also the police.
It is not unheard of for carers to pocket money.

She does sound as if she needs a power of attorney as this is a lot of money to be loosing.

cepheus · 21 March 2012 at 6:58PM

Biggles wrote: »

Has she really had the money 'stolen'? My mother began to say things like this. On one occasion, the purse turned out to be under the cushion she was sitting on. On another occasion, whilst temporarily in a care home, she claimed that she had come in with £400 and now had hardly anything. Fortunately, my brother recalled that she had actually had £40, not £400.

I actually have wondered this. On the first occasion it definitely went missing though although this may have been on the way from the bank somehow. I am arranging for a lockable cabinet to be fixed. Considered all the other suggestions and drafted a power of Attorney which could be used. Like Faraway's Mother it is not that simple, remember people are not as sensible as MSEs and sometimes very obstinate.

sleepless_saver · 21 March 2012 at 7:27PM

cepheus wrote: »

Considered all the other suggestions and drafted a power of Attorney which could be used.

You do know you need to use the forms from the Office of the Public Guardian and will require a Certificate of Capacity? This link is a good starting point.

Mother keeps having money stolen

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