Are my children entitled to their father's possessions?

Options
24

Comments

  • Ziggazee
    Ziggazee Posts: 464 Forumite
    Options
    Gosh. It's stuff. Stuff that can be replaced.


    As time goes on the children will grow out of toys......the fact they lost a parent will stay with them forever.


    I'd be more concerned about channelling my energies into helping my children get through the grief of losing their father that you say they were so close to.
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,943 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    Options
    Ziggazee wrote: »
    Gosh. It's stuff. Stuff that can be replaced.

    I'm as emotionally thick as they come but even I can see that family photos of their father cannot be replaced.

    Even leaving aside sentimental value, the OP didn't specify what the toys are but with three children aged up to 12 we could easily be talking about games consoles costing a few hundred pounds. That's not a sum of money I would just shrug off even if I could easily afford to replace them.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    Ziggazee wrote: »
    Gosh. It's stuff. Stuff that can be replaced.

    As time goes on the children will grow out of toys......the fact they lost a parent will stay with them forever.

    I'd be more concerned about channelling my energies into helping my children get through the grief of losing their father that you say they were so close to.

    Having the 'stuff' that they had at their father's house could make a difference in how they cope with the loss - 'the teddy bear that Daddy bought me when we went to the seaside', 'the fluffly toy I always had in bed with me at Daddy's house', 'Daddy's nice soft sweater that I liked to stroke when he cuddled me', etc.

    And as for the photos - they are really important so that they can remember and talk about him and the things they did together.
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    Options
    Ziggazee wrote: »
    Gosh. It's stuff. Stuff that can be replaced.


    As time goes on the children will grow out of toys......the fact they lost a parent will stay with them forever.


    I'd be more concerned about channelling my energies into helping my children get through the grief of losing their father that you say they were so close to.

    I see plenty of heartless posts on MSE but that is one of the worse, I hope you are feeling ashamed of yourself.

    These children have lost their father do you expect them to lose all memories of him as well. They are not just toys. they are toys that their father brought them and having them to play with/keep will comfort them whilst they grieve.

    Where has the OP said they are not doing all they can to help their children I am sure they are, and in trying to help them they just want their processions back to assist with this.
  • troubleinparadise
    Options
    Whilst no doubt the parents of ex-OH are grieving, despite not being close to their son, and whatever the relationship with the OP, would they really go as far as to prevent his children - their grandchildren - from being given their toys, and sentimental keepsakes of their father?

    I'd hope it would be unlikely, especially if they want on ongoing relationship with their grandchildren. Is there a neutral person who could act as go-between to help negotiations?
  • leespot
    leespot Posts: 554 Forumite
    Options
    Ziggazee wrote: »
    Gosh. It's stuff. Stuff that can be replaced.


    As time goes on the children will grow out of toys......the fact they lost a parent will stay with them forever.


    I'd be more concerned about channelling my energies into helping my children get through the grief of losing their father that you say they were so close to.

    It might well be 'stuff' that their father gave to them - and that can't be replaced, nor the attachment. In which case, the OP is doing exactly the right thing in wanting to get said 'stuff' back for them. In doing so, she is channeling her efforts in entirely the right way to help them get through their grief.
  • Voyager2002
    Voyager2002 Posts: 15,286 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Options
    The nuclear option is to involve the police. His parents have stolen , or are about to, steal the property belonging to the children.

    The police would almost certainly say that this is a civil matter and refuse to get involved. So the nuclear option is to ask a solicitor to write to them and then if necessary begin court proceedings.
  • GDB2222
    GDB2222 Posts: 24,670 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    The police would almost certainly say that this is a civil matter and refuse to get involved. So the nuclear option is to ask a solicitor to write to them and then if necessary begin court proceedings.

    Begin court proceedings for what?
    No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?
  • Yorkshireman99
    Yorkshireman99 Posts: 5,470 Forumite
    Options
    GDB2222 wrote: »
    Begin court proceedings for what?
    Theft of property or criminal damage by detroying them IS a criminal matter. If approached correctly the police will take action. A solicitor's letter is likely to be a waste of money.
  • GDB2222
    GDB2222 Posts: 24,670 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    Theft of property or criminal damage by detroying them IS a criminal matter. If approached correctly the police will take action. A solicitor's letter is likely to be a waste of money.

    They are next of kin and supposed to deal with the estate.
    No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards