How to tell someone they have BO

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  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,306 Forumite
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    Higher temperature may not be what is wanted with the wash. Many detergents leave residues on the fabric, a bit like conditioner for hair, and can trap bacteria and smell. There is lots on the web about washing smelly sports kit that may be relevant. Cotton is usually better for smells than artificial fibres.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • IAmWales
    IAmWales Posts: 2,024 Forumite
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    Unless the chef is his manager it is for you to deal with, not him. It doesn't matter if you're male, female or somewhere in between!

    It is a difficult conversation to open but address it as you would any other medical condition. Even if he denies knowledge I'd assume he does know, but has tried the usual suggestions and they haven't worked. People don't generally choose to smell! He should be encouraged to see his GP if it's something he cannot control, there are treatments that can help. Botox worked for a friend, not sure if it's available on the NHS, but there are medications that can help also.

    If it is an ongoing issue, don't expect it to be solved overnight. Just ask him to keep in touch with how he's getting on with it.
  • IAmWales
    IAmWales Posts: 2,024 Forumite
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    You could print this off for him, or give him the web address.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Hyperhidrosis/Pages/Treatment.aspx
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    People can have medical issues that cause them to sweat more. Id tread very carefully on this one before people start judging.
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    The last thing I would do is print off anything from the NHS telling him he might have a medical condition.

    Ive known people to walk out of jobs after being told that they smell, so it does need to be handled sensitively.

    If you are his manager, you deal with it, dont be passing it to the chef to deal with. I assume its a hot environment, he wont be the only person who sweats working in a kitchen.

    Oh and if someone pulled me into a meeting with no advance notice and without being able to take someone with me to witness the conversation, Id be seeing a union about it

    Asking someone to wash the night before and wash their clothes at a higher temp and use strong deodorant is really out of order if the person does have a medical issue.

    If he only smells towards the end of his shift it looks very much like he does shower before work.
  • Nicki
    Nicki Posts: 8,166 Forumite
    edited 17 September 2017 at 8:44PM
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    If he's in a customer facing role in a restaurant and is giving the impression to customers that he has poor personal hygiene, the options are really only to give him a chance to address it or to let him go. If he has a medical condition and there are no solutions to manage it, then the OP will still need to let him go.

    Edited to add: does it really matter if he speaks to his union given he's a temp?
  • tazwhoever
    tazwhoever Posts: 1,326 Forumite
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    Christmas is coming in 3 months - may be give the person a gift of stronger deodorant.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,306 Forumite
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    I agree that it is only in the manager's remit to raise the issue. Suggestions about how to solve it should only be offered if asked, and I wouldn't expect them to be.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • xapprenticex
    xapprenticex Posts: 1,760 Forumite
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    IAmWales wrote: »
    You could print this off for him, or give him the web address.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Hyperhidrosis/Pages/Treatment.aspx

    I can almost guarantee that wouldn't go down well. If i were him id think my manager was taking the !!!!, i stink so much i must have a condition :rotfl:
  • clairec79
    clairec79 Posts: 2,512 Forumite
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    If he only has BO at the end of the shift, not at the beginning I'd guess he is using deodorant etc, it's just not lasting
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