How to make it cool to achieve at school - what happened next
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rca779
Posts: 436 Forumite
5 years ago I started this thread http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=3709143 about how I was struggling to get my Son to concentrate on school because he didn't consider it cool.
So what has happened over the next 5 years.
Well the main thing was that he worked it our himself that working hard, achieving good results, etc is actually VERY cool. All his mates actually looked up to him when he got such good results.
Warning: Proud Dad alert
In his GCSE's, he got 11 A*'s out of twelve (Only a B in drama, don't worry I had a word ;-) about that).
Yesterday he got his A'level results and he got A* in Maths and Economics and an A in further maths. Believe it or not he was disappointed as he had hoped to study maths at his first choice university and they turned him down because of the A in further maths - they required A*. Still he has a place at his second choice so can't complain.
So what advice can I offer to someone in this situation? Trust your child I think is the best thing I can say. If they really are bright, they work it out for themselves. If their mates really are GOOD friends, they will support and actually encourage your child to achieve (all be it with a fair bit of banter along the way). Support your child, continually stress how cool it will be to get to university, what a great job they can get if they achieve good results etc.
So what has happened over the next 5 years.
Well the main thing was that he worked it our himself that working hard, achieving good results, etc is actually VERY cool. All his mates actually looked up to him when he got such good results.
Warning: Proud Dad alert
In his GCSE's, he got 11 A*'s out of twelve (Only a B in drama, don't worry I had a word ;-) about that).
Yesterday he got his A'level results and he got A* in Maths and Economics and an A in further maths. Believe it or not he was disappointed as he had hoped to study maths at his first choice university and they turned him down because of the A in further maths - they required A*. Still he has a place at his second choice so can't complain.
So what advice can I offer to someone in this situation? Trust your child I think is the best thing I can say. If they really are bright, they work it out for themselves. If their mates really are GOOD friends, they will support and actually encourage your child to achieve (all be it with a fair bit of banter along the way). Support your child, continually stress how cool it will be to get to university, what a great job they can get if they achieve good results etc.
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Comments
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Are the mates that he has had over the past couple of years still the same mates from when he was in Y8?
Congratulations to your son.0 -
Not sure why you feel in a position to give advice, then?
Sorry if it came across as I was trying to offer advice, my bad, that wasn't my intention.
My post was just meant as a follow up to my original post from 5 years ago (which has now been closed, so I couldn't append to that)0 -
Yep, he still has the same core set of mates - a really good crowd0
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I took it to mean - don't worry! It will sort itself out if you are in a similarl position.
Congratulations OP.to you and your son.
I used to feel that the parents of gifted children were, at best overlooked and their valuable input ignored, the same for the effort shown by the child, just because they are very clever doesn't mean they didn't work exceptionally hard to get their results!
We encountered a sort of raised eyes, well of course she got straight A*s attitude.Norn Iron Club member 4730 -
Well done on your son, that's quite an achievement and when you remember a time you thought it could go totally the other way, then you do feel an incredible sense of relief and pride of course.
The only thing I would say is that your DS matured in time and indeed, as you mentioned, because he had good friends who supported him. DD had a similar experience (worried in Y7/8 about being labeled as the smart one but gradually got to be seen for the person she really is, smart being only a side of it), but a few of her friends, who were also very clever didn't get that wake up call until it was too late with some already talking about regrets.
It also very much depends on the school.0 -
Congratulations to your son. Good that he eventually saw the light.
For some reason working hard in school is seen as being uncool. My DD found that out by being constantly belittled and teased as teachers pet throughout primary but not secondary school luckily. She took no notice, continued to work hard and eventually gained a first class degree and a PHD and a rewarding and well paid career.
Why some kids get the idea that working hard and being bright is a bad thing goodness only knows.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0
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