£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Treadingonplaymobil · 8 October 2017 at 8:38PM

Again, I feel I have to interject with a defence. Lots of you have commented about my 'trying to keep up with the Joneses' or 'having an outward appearance' of a certain lifestyle. This absolutely 100% isn't a factor. I honestly couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of our lifestyle (indeed, certain relatives are regularly filled with horror at certain more hippy aspects of it!). Every decision I have made and make now and will make is based on what DH and I feel is best for us and our family. Yes, we haven't got it right in the past, and I'm sure the future will bring its own mistakes too, but nothing that we do is remotely concerned with a superficial appearance, it is concerned with the things that bring us joy and are right for our family.

I absolutely don't intend to stop posting on this diary, but the fixation of some posters with a certain line about how I 'should' be doing things (and almost resentment when I choose to do something differently) is leading me to think about posting fewer details and keeping this space more as just a weekly or monthly update on the figures for my own records.

I have always responded 100% positively to every single comment on here, but I am beginning to think it has led some posters to think that actually an endless on-screen battering is something that I'm here for. I'm not. I should add that so many of you manage to post suggestions and critiques of my plans without being like this at all, and I'm hugely grateful for the time you take.

Moneywhizz · 8 October 2017 at 8:43PM

I follow and enjoy your diary regularly and rarely comment. I have seen many people commenting about your lifestyle and the way you choose to use your money. Mostly though people do so with the best of intentions because they worry that you might end up in even more debt. However as long as you are comfortable with it and think that you will be able to achieve your dream of an extension while continuing with your current spending habits then it is really your choice. I hope that it doesn't put you off keeping your diary which is obviously beneficial to you. My only caution would be to think carefully before adding unsecured debt to your mortgage as it may impact on your ability to borrow the money that you will need for an extension. Good luck with your journey and your plans. It sounds like you have a lovely family life.

Hiddenidenity · 8 October 2017 at 8:46PM

I do think some replies come of quite harsh and it would have put me off replying and posting some time ago had it been on my diary

I think you do amazingly well with the debt and lifestyle balance. What's right for me won't be right for you and so on.

I hope I haven't ever come across as harsh as that isn't ever how I've intended to be at all. I love your diary and have 'pinched' quite a few ideas you've given and been given x

reality_check · 8 October 2017 at 8:52PM

I do love reading your diary, but I am surprised you've kept going, some of the comments I read I look like him ---> :eek: I am sure people mean the best and do with the best intentions but there is only so many times you can say the same thing over and over yet be told the same different thing again lol

I hope you do keep posting often, I am on maternity leave and this is my daily fix reading these diaries and I love reading how you pack so much into a day! Mostly while I am sat on the couch with a cup of tea whilst baby naps and should be doing a million other things!

Good luck with everything, I'm cheering you on to have that £700 back in your pocket one day xxx

Kantankrus_Mare · 8 October 2017 at 8:53PM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Again, I feel I have to interject with a defence. Lots of you have commented about my 'trying to keep up with the Joneses' or 'having an outward appearance' of a certain lifestyle. This absolutely 100% isn't a factor. I honestly couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of our lifestyle (indeed, certain relatives are regularly filled with horror at certain more hippy aspects of it!). Every decision I have made and make now and will make is based on what DH and I feel is best for us and our family. Yes, we haven't got it right in the past, and I'm sure the future will bring its own mistakes too, but nothing that we do is remotely concerned with a superficial appearance, it is concerned with the things that bring us joy and are right for our family.

I absolutely don't intend to stop posting on this diary, but the fixation of some posters with a certain line about how I 'should' be doing things (and almost resentment when I choose to do something differently) is leading me to think about posting fewer details and keeping this space more as just a weekly or monthly update on the figures for my own records.

I have always responded 100% positively to every single comment on here, but I am beginning to think it has led some posters to think that actually an endless on-screen battering is something that I'm here for. I'm not. I should add that so many of you manage to post suggestions and critiques of my plans without being like this at all, and I'm hugely grateful for the time you take.

Im really sorry if my post came across as pouring cold water on all your efforts. It wasnt meant in that way at all and please dont stop posting. I love reading your posts every morning as you write so eloquently and amaze me at the amount of things you get through in a day.
Keep it up :T

System · 8 October 2017 at 8:54PM

I think everyone's journey is different , if you are happy with the way things are going then that's how it is. For you it is definitely a marathon more so than many on here. It will be a while longer before your lightbulb comes on fully, and by then you may find it easier to make the necessary alterations to your lifestyle. I enjoy your diary keep posting.

Moneywhizz · 8 October 2017 at 8:57PM

Actually I was writing my post while you were commenting about feeling a bit battered by some of the responses you have had. I have to say that I too would have found some of the posts quite harsh yet you are indeed always very positive in your replies and try to take on board many suggestions. We need to remember that all we should be doing is trying to give help and advice, but at the end of the day we all live our lives differently and that is our choice. I would miss your diary if you decide to stop posting the way you do, but again you need to do what works best for you. Well done on all that you have achieved so far.

wishingthemortgaheaway · 8 October 2017 at 9:03PM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

On a more general note, there is a definite feeling among many of my lovely readers that I need to do lots of soul searching and have some epiphany. I feel it's only fair, in the interests of you not all feeling like you're banging your heads against a wall, to point out that's unlikely to happen. I've discussed here before that I don't particularly feel my lightbulb is on, I don't particularly get satisfaction from repaying the debt, I don't even particularly mind being in debt, apart from the fact that it costs us £700pm. BUT I am paying the debt. I am intending to continue to pay it (and see no reason that I shouldn't), and I am intending to be debt free one day, so I can have my £700pm back. For now, that's more than enough for me. I don't really have any deeper levels!

I think this is the key post for many people to understand about you TOPM, you've also said before that this is likely to be a 10year plan for you and your family.
It's just a VERY different approach to many other posters here who want to be debt or mortgage free in the shortest possible amount of time. You are trail blazing the different approach. I can't & couldn't work the way you do, I get the jitters if I owe anybody a penny, and have to pay it back immediately. But that's me, not you.
I read you posts because I like your style and you have brilliant homemade lunch ideas that have perked up our lunch time nibbles remarkably. Yes there are posts that make my heart stop and give me palpitations, but that's because I'm me. I hope I can add helpful comments and questions now and in the future.

My question for today however is... does hubby's income after the pay rise take him over the child benefit threshold?im not sure if it's a tapered reduction or if it's a cliff edge one, but much like I didn't want to see Christmas derail your plans, I wouldn't want you getting a massive bill from Hercules, or whoever, to repay the child benefit.

Wish.

wishingthemortgaheaway · 8 October 2017 at 9:05PM

Hercules??? Well that's a name the hmrc have never been called before I bet. Stupid auto correct.

Kantankrus_Mare · 8 October 2017 at 9:12PM

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

Hercules??? Well that's a name the hmrc have never been called before I bet. Stupid auto correct.

LOL @ Hercules.........I'll always think of the tax man now as a Herculean figure. :rotfl:

£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

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