I’m taking control of my life, now.
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Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.
Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.
Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING! :T
You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00
Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0 -
EssexHebridean wrote: »Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.
Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.
Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING! :T
You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.
Sound advice from EH!
You could have a calm chat with OH and suggest you might still go if you stick to no more than two alco drinks between you (we always have a driver who drinks water and the other drinks slowly) that way you don't miss the fun but the cost is lower. There is no shame in saying you are on an economy drive so you don't want to do a kitty or rounds and good friends get this.
Save £12k in 2024 - #2 target is £5000 only £798.34 so far
OS Grocery Challenge 2024 31.1% spent or £932.98/£3,000 annual
I also Reverse Meal Plan on that thread and grow much of our own premium price fruit and veg, joining in on the Grow your own thread
My Debt Free Diary Get a grip Woman0 -
I'd be annoyed to. No one wants to play bad cop. Unfair to be made to or see both of you derail the progress.
He's a right baddieDeleted_User wrote: »Yay to the good things!
I sympathise about the hubby and the pub, glad he sorted it.
Thank you Debt Jan 2017 = £42kMay 2022 = £15k0 -
EssexHebridean wrote: »Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.
Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.
Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING! :T
You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.
I'm going to try that. Ask which if many treats he will sacrifice? (He has some expensive hobbies) He started wittering on to me about a weekend away we're meant to be going on and I literally ran out of the house. I'm not sure actually running away is necessarily the right way to deal with this but it worked tonight.Suffolk_lass wrote: »Sound advice from EH!
You could have a calm chat with OH and suggest you might still go if you stick to no more than two alco drinks between you (we always have a driver who drinks water and the other drinks slowly) that way you don't miss the fun but the cost is lower. There is no shame in saying you are on an economy drive so you don't want to do a kitty or rounds and good friends get this.
It's not that expensive to go to the pub anyway but the point is we went for dinner last weekend, and there needs to be some sacrifices somewhere. But I will suggest that next time we do go. Thank you :ADebt Jan 2017 = £42kMay 2022 = £15k0 -
Good things :j
- Going to do an extra day at the other office tomorrow - £20 expenses profit
- Remembered all of my pack-up today.
- some frugal cooking. Burnt some lentils. Opened some chickpeas instead. Decided I really wanted lentils. Started to cook more lentils. Decided to eat burnt lentils. Made massive chilli for tomorrow with all the other bits of food I had opened/started cooking/let slightly rot in the fridge.
- All bedding is clean ahead of the weekend, just one dark load and ALL the washing and ironing is done.
- The husband has mowed the lawns, first cut of the season and they look pretty good:)
- best of all, I want for a post-work run:j. First time in months a)it's been early enough when I get home b) it was light enough and c) I actually felt like it. Not my quickest time (but that was partly down to having to stop and stroke a cat(, but I feel much better.
Bad things:exclamati- Just sat down to watch shop well for less and IT'S NOT ON. How has this happen?
Debt Jan 2017 = £42kMay 2022 = £15k0 -
This was me for the first couple of weeks after LBM, but I'm pleased to say that Mr ToP has got to grips with the whole thing a bit more, and is starting to use his own initiative and realise that we need to either (a) make other cuts to do certain things or (b) just not do them. I got really frustrated a couple of times, but to be honest I'm surprised at how quickly he's got it! Hopefully Mr Boxofpaws will get to grips with the concept very soon.Bad things:exclamati- Boiled my eggs but forgot to take them to work so spent 65p in the work canteen on soup
- Have had a bit of a strop at the husband. He said to me last night 'Tall friend wants to go to the pub quiz on Sunday'. Me - 'we cant afford it'. Him 'I know'. Me 'You'll tell him no then'. Him 'I accidentally just sent him a thumbs up sign'. Me, some incoherent ranting and then silence, for 24 hours. He did tell me when he got into bed last night that he has cancelled.
I am frankly sick of being made to feel like the fun-sponge. We cannot say yes to everybody, every time they ask! We cant afford it, so why is it always me that has to say no?
He is making me all angryTrying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.0 -
Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »This was me for the first couple of weeks after LBM, but I'm pleased to say that Mr ToP has got to grips with the whole thing a bit more, and is starting to use his own initiative and realise that we need to either (a) make other cuts to do certain things or (b) just not do them. I got really frustrated a couple of times, but to be honest I'm surprised at how quickly he's got it! Hopefully Mr Boxofpaws will get to grips with the concept very soon.
Could you send my DH a few tips. He is getting better but still wastes a bit of money now and again. I have to [STRIKE]nag
[/STRIKE]remind him again
Emptying my lake with a teaspoon0 -
I was looking forward to watching shop well for less on catch up tonight:(
Glad you had lots of good things today!0 -
Glad the new ironing board is earning it's keep " Your vibe attracts your tribe":D
Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.200 -
No Shop Well...? Bah - I hope they have a good excuse for that! Loving all those "Good things" and stroking a cat is a very good reason for a slower than you'd like run time!🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00
Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0
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