Preparing for the biggest move of our life

Its been a good week.

Colleague is back and has been much better than previously, workload has been pretty much even!

A little more tucked into my savings. The figure on my signature is all my savings apart from childcare as I cant use that towards any thing.

I popped into poundland on my lunch break today, seeing kinder bueno - on offer - unplanned spend they managed to get £11 out of me!! I could have easily spent more, its much better than the £ store near me.

DD is on a health kick, has given up sugar for lent, though she caved yesterday today she is going strong....lets see how half term goes

I have a full week off now, dd is on a swimming course but not too early in the mornings so we will get a few mini lay ins.

We haven't got anything big planned, hoping to visit a few parks that we haven't been to yet, including one local lake that my friends always talk about. Im not sure we will get all the way round it but worth a go!!

Also planning to have a general overhaul, sort out my paper work take bits to charity shops etc.

Hoping its not going to be a big spend with, though pay day is on Friday, so I'll maybe allow a little treat then!

So dd's first swimming lesson of the week went well! There was only one other child with her so I think I got a bargain with the price I paid - compared to friends who paid approaching £100 for 121 lessons.

I'm hoping to get her on a course at easter too but I suspect they will run the second week of the holidays, when I have the first week off. Still the week I do work she will get to go swimming twice with her holiday camp which is good.

I took my duvet to a cleaning place, there isn't a laundrette locally. They wanted £19.50 to clean! I nearly choked! I only got it a few weeks ago for £20, Mr T decided to wee on it when I popped out of my room to get clean bed covers. I got as much as I could out and washed the area down but I can still smell it. I've been making do with a spare single and wake with freezing legs every morning!

I went to Tescos next door, its only a small supermarket they were out of doubles. So after swimming went to the range and got one for £16.99 - and Mr T has been banned from my room.

I will try to bathwash the duvet, it will definitely fit in my tumble drier but no chance of getting it in the washing machine.
I've never washed a duvet as an adult. I have a horrible memory of my stepmum making me wash a duvet through the night after I was sick on it, each time I went back to bed as I thought it was clean she woke me to get me back to the bathroom as 'it wasn't clean enough' When she finally agreed it was clean, it was time for me to get ready for school. Crazy woman. I feel very angry at my dad when I remember things like that, the stupid weak man that he is couldn't protect his children - but he has no problem protecting that vile 'human'. Bonkers.

So anyway, I've never attempted to clean a duvet despite me being at least 3 times that weight and almost double that height!
If I can snap myself out of it, I will do it. At the moment I just keep staring at it in the black sack.

I had a bit of a blurgh day yesterday. Not the being single part, I have been single approaching 8 years, so well and truly accepted that. What I really struggle to get my head round every now and then, is that a vile human like that, gets 80% of my family, through her lies. The people that believed myself and my brother ie my mum and paternal nan died within 2 years of each other.

So the bad person gets the one thing we want - despite not deserving or wanting them herself? I mean by not wanting, she doesn't care about my family she slated them constantly, caused rows between my dad and his siblings, stopped them visiting etc.

My dad, doesn't give a toss about his children or his grandchildren - but we cant seem to switch off from caring or wanting him in our lives.

Then thinking about them made me think about DD's dad, how safe he made me feel to begin with, why he couldn't have chosen us over the drink. Then how it destroyed everything. Its taken so long to get back to where I was before I lost it all, and again its just DD & I whilst he lives life without a care.

I know with my ex, its entirely my fault for not walking away sooner. It still stinks that these people who think nothing of hurting other people get the good things in life - a family. The family I get dies.

I have of course my little star DD, and she has only me. It hardly seems fair, she definitely hasn't done anything wrong to anyone.

I hope I get this anger out of me today, I cant feel like this for the rest of the week!

Maybe pummelling the duvet in the bath will do the trick

Thank you Rosa I've backed out already, its in the bin and Mr T is banned from my room for the foreseeable!

Feeling better after a good night sleep.

Pay day on Friday at last!

I've managed OK this month, still a little too close to my minimum balance at times but its been a lot better than January.

DD is looking forward to swimming, we have to leave in 30 minutes so I had better get a wriggle on!