Young widow husband is terminal lots of questions ....

Pollycat · 29 September 2016 at 9:03AM

Kerri7767 wrote: »

Hi everyone your help is priceless to me ...

We have 2 children 13/19

I currentky don't work as I'm caring for my husband who is deteriating .. I will be returning to work when the time is right most likely on a self employed basis .. I was under the impression I will be entitled to widow parent allowance .. plus child tax credit and working tax credit ... sorry for all questions and thank you for all your offer of private message I will be messaging and I'm so sorry that this has happened to some of you also .. it's very scary

As you have children of that age, it does look like you'll be eligible for widowed parent allowance.

I'm not sure about CTC & WTC for self-employed people, but I believe things changed last year on the definition of self-employed for calculation of WTC.
This link may be useful:
http://revenuebenefits.org.uk/tax-credits/guidance/how-do-tax-credits-work/self-employed/

christineperseus · 29 September 2016 at 9:08AM

Make sure you get all his internet passwords so you can close things down - email passwords etc. pin numbers for phones.

whitewing · 29 September 2016 at 9:09AM

Can one of the cancer charities (eg Macmillan) help you with this? I think they would have sadly seen this type of situation before.

I am so sorry that your family has to go through this.

Kerri7767 · 29 September 2016 at 11:13AM

Thanks for responding so far .... I've count out via land registry that we are " joint registered owners "

With regards to credit, the house at a guess has very little equity ... we paid 165 and there's still a mortgage of 159 !!! How will the credit card companies need proof? How do I go about this ??

Yorkshireman99 · 29 September 2016 at 12:31PM

Kerri7767 wrote: »

Thanks for responding so far .... I've count out via land registry that we are " joint registered owners "

With regards to credit, the house at a guess has very little equity ... we paid 165 and there's still a mortgage of 159 !!! How will the credit card companies need proof? How do I go about this ??

If you are joint tenants then your husbands estate will be insolvent. Much easier really. When the time comes simply write to the CC company, and any other creditors telling them the estate is insolvent and you will not be administrating it. Keep calm and concentrate on the time you have left with your husband and come back here later.

CRANKY40 · 29 September 2016 at 4:03PM

Yes you will get widowed parents allowance (it's taxable so when you get your award ring the tax office - if you get an occupational widows pension too they can send them a tax code to deduct tax at source so you don't end up with with a tax bill) and if you're not working straight away then child tax credit too. I get a widows pension from the M.O.D as well as having had the death in service benefit. What also surprised me is that our son gets a payment every month until he finishes education, so it may be worth having a read up on your husband's pension info to see if there is a children's entitlement.

It is scary when it happens, but it's totally do-able. There's a really good web site out there that has a forum where you can speak to other people in the same situation and there's also an organisation called Widowed and Young (WAY) which has local members for you to meet. There's a lot more of us out there than you'd think.

note3 · 29 September 2016 at 8:17PM

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

If you are joint tenants then your husbands estate will be insolvent. Much easier really. When the time comes simply write to the CC company, and any other creditors telling them the estate is insolvent and you will not be administrating it. Keep calm and concentrate on the time you have left with your husband and come back here later.

I second Yorkshire man. A close family member has been in your position so I understand to an extent what you're going through. I'm hoping you feel better prepared now and less anxious about financial aspects when the time comes. Now is the time to capture final memories with your husband and children. If you're anything like me you get lost in researching so you feel prepared but in your case I'd worry you would feel guilty for wasting time doing that when you could be spending final moments with your loved one. I hope you can see I say this out of kindness to save you regrets

Kerri7767 · 29 September 2016 at 8:37PM

I understand what you are saying ... Yorkshire man has been great advising me ... to say I'm petrified at how I'll cope mentally financially and physically is an understatement ... stomach in knots most of the time ... doing the best I can , all your advise has been amazing I still have loads to ask but don't know where to start x

note3 · 30 September 2016 at 8:50AM

Your mind will understandably be all over the place. I'd suggest having a piece of paper or notebook you keep in a set place such as your handbag on which you jot thoughts and questions as they occur. Then you can come on here when it suits and list them. You have so so much in your head that you will stress yourself out if you try to keep remembering all your questions.

Depending on how your husband is coping with his situation I'd also suggest possibly keeping the list out of his sight (that's not to say I'm suggesting you don't talk to him about issues). He just likely feels guilty and afraid for yours and the children's futures and if he saw a list of your worries it could worsen his feelings. Hope you know what I mean as it's difficult to put in writing.

pollypenny · 1 October 2016 at 8:41AM

So sorry to read your sad thread, kerri.

Nothing to add to the good advice, except that when a friend was killed in an accident his last son also had a pension until he finished education, university in his case.

Young widow husband is terminal lots of questions ....

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