6 month old won't let me go.

Yoga_Girl · 3 February 2005 at 10:55PM

My little boy went through a phase just like that, whilst my daughter has never really been bothered!

It is just a phase and he's probably just realised that you & him are actually separate beings!

With my boy it helped if I was "matter of fact" about leaving him, and I tended to say things like "have a nice time, you'll be fine" in a very confident voice (even if I felt awful inside!). Babies are very quick to pick up on our anxieties so I tried to project confidence! If he was crying I avoided rushing to him with phrases like "mummy's here, you'll be fine now" cus I didn't want to give him the message that he was only ok if he was with me or that being with others = scary.

Someone else suggested games like peek-a-boo, that's a good fun way of getting him used to you not always being in view. You can extend this to peek-a-boo from one room to another as well to start to get him used to you being elsewhere.

Good luck!

bylromarha · 4 February 2005 at 12:44AM

Sarahsaver wrote:

Its a normal stage of cognitive development, if anything your child has reached a developmental milestone early and you can rightly be proud!

Even prouder ssaver as he's been doing it for a month and i have run out of ideas now, hence the appeal!

I actually don't mind him crying on these occasions...I am truly an evil cow! Nah, it's cos I understand that he's choosing to cry, I'm not making him, and nothing's wrong really and that he has to learn we are 2 separate entities at this point in his life.

No, I'm not overly protective either...I'm quite happy to leave him...it's just those I leave him with aren't and seem to think I'm mean when I don't rush back to the creche the moment I'm called for. The main place this currently occurs is at church...so I have some sympathy as the helpers are volunteers...they don't get paid to try to comfort an inconsolable baby, plus the helpers are worried he might set the others off.

At home I leave him in his cot with his toys and you can actually hear him trying to get my attention...screaming louder if he knows I'm downstairs, then pausing to hear if I've responded, then yelling even louder if I don't. We've been slowly expanding this time so he'll begin to play with his toys after a couple of minutes now rather than the 10ish minutes it took a few weeks ago. So I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...but how long did the tunnel last for you all? Months? Years?

There are some great ideas you've all given me which we shall try. More ideas are also greatly appreciated!

Thanks...

byl

PS Big thanks to Queenie...I no longer advise people! However a little part of me wishes this clingy phase would last until he was 21...I could then relive uni whilst seeing what antics the boy gets up to!

Savvy_Sue · 4 February 2005 at 1:18AM

bylromarha wrote:

No, I'm not overly protective either...I'm quite happy to leave him...it's just those I leave him with aren't and seem to think I'm mean when I don't rush back to the creche the moment I'm called for. The main place this currently occurs is at church...so I have some sympathy as the helpers are volunteers...they don't get paid to try to comfort an inconsolable baby, plus the helpers are worried he might set the others off.

That's an understandable problem: one screaming child in the church creche is bad enough, two is ghastly and three is a nightmare!

So, specifically for the church situation, is there anyone there - friend, baby's father, grandma figure - who could be roped in to lend an extra pair of hands for a week or two, just to see what happens? That person could then maybe take your son out of the creche if he doesn't stop howling and appears to be on the brink of setting everyone else off.

Another suggestion is to see what happens if your son stays in church with you for now. If he's quiet and happy, tackle the problem later.

bylromarha wrote:

However a little part of me wishes this clingy phase would last until he was 21...I could then relive uni whilst seeing what antics the boy gets up to!

Noooooo! you don't, not really. Young people today, and all that ...

For a start, they don't seem to drink coffee like we used to! It's all water now!!

And as for when this might stop: I do remember my best friend's son regularly throwing a tantrum when he knew Mum was going out, he would keep this up until she was out of sight and then stop, like turning a tap off. Although once when he was 3 he kept it up until she got back, even after his Dad came in, not a pretty sight!

carpool72 · 11 February 2005 at 3:09PM

I agree it's a normal phase. My 2 year old nephew was exactly the same (& the opposite of his older brother) - it took time and perserverance but he has developed a very close relationship with my parents and will happily be left with them for days at a time now! The only other thing I'd say is, if you're thinking about going back to work in the future, he'd probably be happier with a childminder than a nursery - that's our experience anyway.

6 month old won't let me go.

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