22 Foxhole East

badmemory · 30 September 2017 at 5:21PM

I too think the teachers are worried. They have suggested parents get the past exam papers so they can see for themselves that there aren't any. The best way they can get (the collective) you as parents to see what a mess everthing is in is for you to find out for yourselves. Them just standing there and telling you will not achieve anything. Sending you off seething & saying I'll show them will have a much better outcome all round.

f0xh0les · 30 September 2017 at 6:54PM

My boy is taking his exams in two years. They can have their shock now, get used to it for the next year's batch, and then they can send mine in knowing what he is doing.
So, Scrooge the musical is on this Christmas, and the other books on the reading list are on order.

The kids went off to town with me at 9.30 this morning, on pain of death and/or dismemberment. They paid in various cheques to the bank, and used various gift vouchers to buy their dad a birthday present. !!! with their own monies!!! They had a great hour looking around shops and giggling their heads off. It was lovely, they were really good fun to be with. Then as soon as we got back into the house they were bickering over computers/xboxes/laptops ..... yawn.

Went to the gym at 6.45 this morning. Just to get it out of the way. Need to shift the weight and Xmas is as good a target as any. Not like I am going to be invited to an office xmas party, although I might organise my own. I did when the kids were small. Made an executive decision that the kids were my work, therefore I could have a works do, and usually took them all off to a chinese buffet style place in December and we watched the office parties behave badly and looked at baubles and laughed at terrible decorations. All good cheap fun. I miss them being at home.

wishingthemortgaheaway · 30 September 2017 at 7:01PM

Love the idea of a 'work's Christmas do' but taking the 'clients' that's above and beyond. I'm organising a mum's night out near Christmas and hubby organises one for all the free lancers he knows in the area.

EatingTheElephant · 30 September 2017 at 8:04PM

Foxholes, I love the cake idea (a little way back, I'm just catching up!). I think I'm going to try that one for my grandson. Thank you

f0xh0les · 1 October 2017 at 5:24PM

Warning rant alert!!

I could scream!!

So, in previous news, I had found a youth hostel 25 minutes from the Ferry terminal so that the in-laws would not have to do the 5 hour drive this side of the boat to get to us. Ensuring no Xboxes or Skype distractions for the kids to get to spend time with their grandparents, who feel the children are not as interested in their lives as they had hoped they would be.
So F-i-L injures himself and everyone, and his dog, and the village cat, tells me there is no way he is going to be able to travel, no way at all they can even make the short journey. He will be laid up for weeks, I should just cancel the whole thing as it is not going to happen
.
Then they whinged as they would not get a refund and it was wasted money and they had already arranged to come over the week before (!!) and drive 250 miles to see old friends, and they would have to cancel that (why did I bother researching a nice 4 days with us and trying to save them masses of driving ??) .

So I cancelled it and have lost 10% but the rest has just gone back onto my credit card and paid for DS2s presents. The kids were disappointed they were not going to the mountains for their holidays but understood their grandparents were not up to the travel. DH now has agreed other teaching commitments as HEd terms and school terms are not the same.

Last night DH got a phone call to tell him they have decided to come over for half term anyway.

They are driving the whole way. Leaving at 5am and should get to us around 4pm. This from someone who MUST keep his leg raised 90% of his waking time. !!!!!!!!

So now I have to entertain them for however long they will be here for, as DH will leg it before they get here in the morning and sit in his office hiding, when really it is him they want to see.

And now I have to try and arrange age appropriate/ mobility appropriate excursions from 75yrs – 8years whilst making sure lunch is bang on 12 or F-i-L starts sighing. And he does not eat soup, or hummous,or cauliflower or broccoli and she does not eat wheat, any other grains bar corn, dairy, tea or coffee, peppers, raw tomatoes in fact any member of the nightshade family except very small amounts of potatoes (unless she fancies it). And they think it is rather off we won't cook meat for them. Poor dears. Though they keep trying to smuggle it in while DH is at work.

And they do not lift a finger to help while they are here anyway. Not even washing up a cup or boiling a kettle. It is like they are sitting in a waiting room, waiting for their kids to want to be with them, and sadly it is never going to happen.

Now I am probably fearing the worst, but she has done it before you see, about 6 years ago, when she waited for one of the bank holiday weekends DH was away, and invited her sister and brother in law up from Cornwall, and I ended up looking after 4 kids under 9 and 4 adults while they took over my living room for two days chatting and eating me out of house and home, while criticising the people who ‘had only married in’ to their family!! When DH came back he was horrified.
So you see, although they are their grandparents of my children, and for the first 12 years I bent over backwards for them to see the kids, even though they live a ferry away and I did not drive (public transport all the way), I have finally had enough.
And they don’t like it.

After the ‘taking the p1ss event’ DH told them there was not enough room for them in our house so they could stop in a hotel when they came avisiting. But now we are in a big house, they are very very put out they are still expected to stay in a hotel, and blame me for it. Nightmare!! But they would not put their hand in their pocket to get a cup of tea while they were out, and they have no interest in the area as it is urban and not a field in the middle of nowhere like where they live.

Okay. Feel a bit better about that now I have got it out (again)

Watch this space for further updates…..:mad:

smallholdingsister · 1 October 2017 at 5:36PM

Boo hiss to your PILs. Why would grandchildren be interested in grandparents lives? That doesn't happen until adulthood, surely?

wishingthemortgaheaway · 1 October 2017 at 5:41PM

Wow Foxholes. This sounds like a true nightmare, I really don't know what to suggest apart from writing a strict itinerary and menu and pinning it up for everyone to adhere too.
(I'm assuming hubby can't rearrange his teaching commitments so he can be home a bit more? )
What about sending the little foxes off on a couple of play dates at friend's houses to give them a bit of a break.
Then I think you need to book a hair appointment, spa treatment and something else.

f0xh0les · 1 October 2017 at 6:29PM

The kids will leg it to their rooms with various electronic devices after 5 minutes.
DH has lectures 3 days, the smallest of which has 150 students. Can't really throw a sickie without dropping a colleague in it, and he would'nt do it as he has had it happen to him and had to stand in.

Can't send smalls away on playdates or GPs will sulk. They will rock up anywhere between 8 - 10am and sit in my living room until 10pm, even if DH is knackered and goes to bed at 9.

It is most bizarre, and I feel sorry for them, I honestly think they would be happier if we divorced and they could complain about how difficult it must be for me. Every conversation they have is about a friend of theirs who has died, or is dying, or is seriously ill. To the point where DS1 asked 'Grandma do you only know sick people?' They seem to get off on other people being in a worse state than they are,or horrible things happening that has not happened to them.
I remember asking them when they were building their house if a 4 bed house would not be too big for them. She said, and I remember this quite clearly, she would need somewhere for DH and the children to stay when we divorced. I told DH, and he burst out laughing.
Got to try and keep a sense of humour, and hope it does not rain... please don't let it rain at half term. Everybody think dry thoughts!

smallholdingsister · 1 October 2017 at 7:09PM

That is freaking rude of your MIL. Also why do you shoulder the burden of staying up with them when they are HIS parents?

f0xh0les · 2 October 2017 at 7:07AM

smallholdingsister wrote: »

That is freaking rude of your MIL. Also why do you shoulder the burden of staying up with them when they are HIS parents?

I guess I just have better manners than them:rotfl:

I just cant understand the whole rocking up in the morning and expecting to be entertained ALL day long until DH comes home. And when they say they want to see the children, that is all they want. To SEE them. But at their age they are not going to change are they. Realistically.
What scares the hell out of me is the fear that they see me as their old age caring plan.
I am polite, I am hospitable, I am lovely. But I am not getting involved in that sack of monkeys. They have 2 kids. Neither of whom likes m-i-l, and are totally blind to the faults of f-i-l . He comes across as a nice old duffer, but the mask has slipped a few too many times with me.

So those are my tales of woe, but there IS a silver lining. I remember a lady I worked with once told me the only reason she got bits of her house finished was because she kept inviting people to visit every few months, and that gave her the continuing motivation to keep on with the small things, the tidying away things, the taking those bits to the tip that end up in the corner of the downstairs bathroom. So, the visit will give me the impetus (get me with the fancy impetus!) to sort some more stuff out.

The countdown is on..... (except I don't have a firm date for the crash landing).... so I will say Friday the 13th:rotfl: Let's see how much I can get done.

22 Foxhole East

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