We can't afford to live together and have children

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  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    No it isn't we got that a few months back to tell us what they would be willing to lend, I have that paperwork and now I have what is called a recommendation with all the details of the mortgage product which is about 15 pages long and says it's subject to survey
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    We've just been told that's how you do things
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    No it isn't we got that a few months back to tell us what they would be willing to lend, I have that paperwork and now I have what is called a recommendation with all the details of the mortgage product which is about 15 pages long and says it's subject to survey

    im out.

    ( that means you've got until August to atleast exchange contracts by the way )
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    We've just been told that's how you do things

    No one in their right mind applies for a mortgage without having an offer accepted. No-one.

    So either you haven't actually applied, or you have and its affected your credit score. On a house that may not even be for sale anymore.

    In either case. I'm done
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
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    You know what? At the start of this thread I was all for you putting an offer in on this house, but the more of your replies I read the more hopelessly naïve you sound.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    How does it affect your credit score it's not like we have been rejected, in that case it would affect it if we put an offer in, got the mortgage accepted and then the seller pulled out?
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Surely if you get an offer accepted and then get refused or can't afford the mortgage that harms the seller when you pull out

    It may mess the chain up for the seller but EA's will immediately check whether your mortgage is in place (or they should) with paperwork etc
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862 Forumite
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    I think you're over thinking everything - at this rate you'll never move out from your parents.

    Find a house you can afford, if it means moving out of the immediate area do it. As others have suggested I would really suggest renting first though, living together is a whole other ball game!
  • mai_taylor
    mai_taylor Posts: 220 Forumite
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    We earn similar and bought a house at £140,000 with 5% deposit over 35 years so for the first year we had quite a high mortgage, DH retrained as an electrician so he was on a teeny tiny apprentice wage. We still managed to overpay the mortgage, save and go on holiday. Yes we don't have kids yet but the mortgage is going to go down as we get a better % and if our circumstances change we will learn to adapt. There's ways to make more money, get a lodger, take on overtime. Just go for it life's to short to worry about every eventuality.

    p.s we never rented first, just bought a house and moved in together.
  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286 Forumite
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    OP, I want to both hug you and shake you.

    You can afford to move out. You've done amazingly well to save the deposit you have. You can't plan for every eventuality - !!!!!! happens and you work around it...

    And quite frankly, if you were my partner I'd think you were looking for excuses and be pondering whether my future lies with you.

    Have you talked to your partner about how you're feeling? Properly?

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
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