Separating with husband, need advice

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  • antrobus
    antrobus Posts: 17,386 Forumite
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    WaltonVale wrote: »
    .. We live in a Universal Credit area.
    Is there anything he can do between now and the start of August to get a benefit claim underway? I understand that it takes 6 weeks for it to be processed and then it is not back dated. ...

    It is apparently the case that it usually takes 5 or 6 weeks to get your first Universal Credit payment. But your entitlement begins from the date of your claim. Back dating only applies to the period before you made the claim.

    See here.
    https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/before-you-apply/how-universal-credit-is-paid/
  • antrobus
    antrobus Posts: 17,386 Forumite
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    People seems to be jumping to all sorts of conclusions here. The OP simply stated that her 64 year old husband is "unable to work and has not worked for years due to health issues". I'm not sure why people think this means that he has extensive mental and physical health issues or that he is disabled. For one thing, being too ill to work is not the same as being disabled. A lot of disabled people work, a lot of sick people aren't disabled. Without more information regarding these health issues we simply don't know.

    P.S. There is obviously an age difference. The OP gave birth to a child three years ago, so she is at least ten years younger than her husband, probably more like twenty years. I might speculate that this is why they have decided to separate, but I don't think speculation is helpful.
  • marliepanda
    marliepanda Posts: 7,186 Forumite
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    antrobus wrote: »
    People seems to be jumping to all sorts of conclusions here. The OP simply stated that her 64 year old husband is "unable to work and has not worked for years due to health issues". I'm not sure why people think this means that he has extensive mental and physical health issues or that he is disabled. For one thing, being too ill to work is not the same as being disabled. A lot of disabled people work, a lot of sick people aren't disabled. Without more information regarding these health issues we simply don't know.

    P.S. There is obviously an age difference. The OP gave birth to a child three years ago, so she is at least ten years younger than her husband, probably more like twenty years. I might speculate that this is why they have decided to separate, but I don't think speculation is helpful.

    Old posts suggest he has been sectioned and the OP felt unable
    To live with him for two years after marriage due to his health conditions.

    Read some old posts. They mention the extensive mental and physical disabilities. I didn't make them up
  • Cheeky_Monkey
    Cheeky_Monkey Posts: 2,072 Forumite
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    Having read the previous thread from February 2013, I seriously question why on earth a mother would leave her young children in the care of someone who is so obviously not fit to look after them.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
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    I think, sometimes, it's best to take a post on face value. Nit picking over what they may have said in the past isn't hugely productive.

    I tend to take the view that I hope any advice/information/guidance I give to someone may help, a bit. Beyond that it may be of assistance to other posters/viewers who may be in a similar situation.

    Unfortunately, posters of the ilk of Rockingbilly suck the life blood out of forums like this and stop people posting. No idea whether this is intentional or not or just attention seeking. While I know from my own experience that moderating isn't easy a quicker harder line on serial trolls would be good
  • antrobus
    antrobus Posts: 17,386 Forumite
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    Old posts suggest he has been sectioned and the OP felt unable
    To live with him for two years after marriage due to his health conditions.

    Read some old posts. They mention the extensive mental and physical disabilities. I didn't make them up

    Fair enough. I stand corrected.

    Perhaps a reference to the old posts might have helped though.:)
  • marliepanda
    marliepanda Posts: 7,186 Forumite
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    NeilCr wrote: »
    I think, sometimes, it's best to take a post on face value. Nit picking over what they may have said in the past isn't hugely productive.

    I tend to take the view that I hope any advice/information/guidance I give to someone may help, a bit. Beyond that it may be of assistance to other posters/viewers who may be in a similar situation.

    Unfortunately, posters of the ilk of Rockingbilly suck the life blood out of forums like this and stop people posting. No idea whether this is intentional or not or just attention seeking. While I know from my own experience that moderating isn't easy a quicker harder line on serial trolls would be good

    Well judging on the actual post leaves us with a 3 year old being left with, frankly, someone who should be her grandad at that age, not her father. It's not usual. Plus add to the age factor the fact he is unable to work which implies an element of lack of capability.

    Add to that a 9 yr old that has to be up and out to school 5 days a week, along with a 3 year old in tow. Anyone would find that tough. A 64 year old would find that tough. A 64 year old unable to work through ill health would find that tough.

    That's the face of it. The rest of the posts simply embellish that, rather than contradict. It makes you wonder why the children are actually being left...
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
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    Well judging on the actual post leaves us with a 3 year old being left with, frankly, someone who should be her grandad at that age, not her father. It's not usual. Plus add to the age factor the fact he is unable to work which implies an element of lack of capability.

    Add to that a 9 yr old that has to be up and out to school 5 days a week, along with a 3 year old in tow. Anyone would find that tough. A 64 year old would find that tough. A 64 year old unable to work through ill health would find that tough.

    That's the face of it. The rest of the posts simply embellish that, rather than contradict. It makes you wonder why the children are actually being left...

    Makes my point

    Nice lot of assumptions there.
  • Geoff1963
    Geoff1963 Posts: 1,088 Forumite
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    I'm guessing the OP is leaving, in order to start a new relationship ; else there isn't much point. The extra benefits would surely not maintain a second property.

    If so, it might be useful to keep mentioning that to anyone who might be interested, in order to minimise any suspicions towards the husband.
  • marliepanda
    marliepanda Posts: 7,186 Forumite
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    Geoff1963 wrote: »
    I'm guessing the OP is leaving, in order to start a new relationship ; else there isn't much point. The extra benefits would surely not maintain a second property.

    If so, it might be useful to keep mentioning that to anyone who might be interested, in order to minimise any suspicions towards the husband.

    OP doesn't need benefits, she has a good wage coming in.

    The issue is probably more leaving the children with the ex to maximise HIS benefit entitlement...
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