Do I need to divorce?

lynseydee · 9 October 2016 at 10:15PM

I separated from my husband just over a year ago. I moved out of the marital home and moved back to the town we used to live in which is where both our families live.

He still lives in the marital home which is a three bed house.

I have told him we need to sell the house but he is refusing by saying he wouldn't be able to rent because of problems he had with a previous rental company (he disputed the amount of deposit they returned to him) and he can't afford to buy another property. He has told me if I want the house sold I'll have to take him to court.

My question is: do I have to go through divorce proceedings to be able to sell the house or is there a cheaper alternative. I'm not too bothered about divorce as I have no intention to marry again and at the moment it's something I can't afford anyway.

I just want to know where I stand as I think the only reason he is telling me to take him to court is because I don't have the money for anything that is going to be really expensive so has the upper hand over me.

Thanks for reading.

chesky · 10 October 2016 at 6:52AM

You could have a legal separation and still get all your finances and property sorted out. Get yourself legal advice - your local CAB may well have a family/relationship solicitor who can help.

hollydays · 10 October 2016 at 7:32AM

You've been fair it seems, but he hasn't.
Time to stand up for yourself. As said get legal advice and good luck .

FBaby · 10 October 2016 at 7:38AM

Is reason for not being able to rent are nonsense. It sounds more like an issue with affordability checks. This could indicate financial issues and as such, I would definitely look into a divorce asap to cut all financial ties with him. Who pays the mortgage?

goodwithsaving · 10 October 2016 at 8:11AM

If he can't rent, it's his problem. Don't be guilt tripped into anything. Stand your ground. You've been fair until now (hearing your side of things) and unfortunately sometimes there becomes a point whereby being nice doesn't work. Get legals involved before it gets nasty.

unforeseen · 10 October 2016 at 8:26AM

Tbh as joint owner he has every right to carry on living in the house. OP WAS the one that decided to decamp.

This would have been the advice from these boards if the sees were reversed.

DigForVictory · 10 October 2016 at 9:00AM

In your shoes, OP, I'd go for divorce, just to clear the decks & bombproof your personal finances both now & time future.

I've yet to meet a divorce lawyer who requires cash up front, so get all the advice you can free/via CAB (read wikivorce?) then go to court & get it all nailed down, everything - absolute *and* financial settlement.

I presume both bank & mortgage co know you've moved out? A minor courtesy, that may restrict his ability to kite a massive debt onto any joint cards...

paddy's_mum · 10 October 2016 at 9:42AM

unforeseen wrote: »

OP WAS the one that decided to decamp.

How unfair to imply blame on a wife for leaving when the husband has [STRIKE]cheated beaten her run up quarter of a million pounds of debt conned her grandma out of her life savings molested their daughter[/STRIKE][insert offence or crime or cruelty here]

Guest101 · 10 October 2016 at 10:53AM

OP a deposit dispute doesn't stop someone renting, come on now use your head.

Pixie5740 · 10 October 2016 at 11:00AM

If disputing deposit deductions prevented me from renting another property I'd have wound up living in a cardboard box years ago. In other words he's talking piffle.

Unless there are children involved then it really doesn't matter who left the marital home and who remained. The relationship is over and it's best to sever financial ties so that you can both move on with your lives.

Staying married could have financial implications for you further down the line. For example, if you want to buy a home then you'll be hit with the additional 3% SDLT because as a married couple you can only have one main residence and that would be where he currently lives. Forcing a sale when one party really doesn't want to sell takes time so the sooner you get the ball rolling the sooner the house will be sold.

TBagpuss · 10 October 2016 at 11:09AM

If he is not willing to coioperate then no, there is no't a cheaper alternative.

A separation agreement is just that, an agreement.

Wht I'd suggest is:

- start divorce proceedings. You can do this yourself if you feel confident - get the forms from the cour (don't use/pay an online company)
- Self-refer for mediation - it's a necessary step on the way to going to court and it's possible that you may make some progress. For instance, while the mediatoror isn't there to give legal advice they may be abel to confirm that it is normal for a property to be sold.

depending on what equity / other assets there are, you ex might well be able to rent byu paying a deposit & six months rent in advance, although having had a dispute with a loandlord in the past would not prevent him from renting now.

Do I need to divorce?

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