📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012

Options
1568101114

Comments

  • eadieb
    eadieb Posts: 238 Forumite
    by the time we got to child no. 4, we had already sold all baby things at car boot sales. We had also realised that I could not cope with spending another year of getting up and down to a cot every 2 hours, every night. So we didn't bother with a cot, he slept in our bed, and I breastfed laying down on our mattress on the floor, each night. We had no baby bath, he'd get a dip in the big bath before the others went in. No walkie talkie things - you can usually hear them scream through the whole house. No pram - I had a double buggy with a 3 year old and 18 month old and the new baby was in a sling.

    essential was a good car seat and a good reclining baby chair for laying them in.

    when supermarket shopping I would always put my baby in a sling from the very start of the shop. (I used a wilkinet). If I tried putting the baby in the special car seat trolley, he would last about 2 aisles before waking up and crying.

    If you are breastfeeding then make sure you eat good meals and drink fluid during the day and particularly near late afternoon, so that your body can build up enough milk for the evening. I found evening feeding sessions the hardest in the early days. You need to have stocks of food which can be cooked earlier in the day when the baby is asleep and just needs heating for evening meal.

    Also I found with each of mine that breastfeeding in the first 9 to 12 weeks is the most time consuming and prone to growth spurts. Once you get past this stage it seems to dramatically change to become easier. I think the baby is much bigger and you are making more milk. In the early days you will have frequent times when the baby is constantly feeding so that your body adjusts to make more milk.

    Babies can start crawling and rolling around the room at a very young age so whilst the baby is little, think about what is accessible to be pulled over or eaten.
  • If you start at the beginning giving baby milk at room temperature they don't mind at all and you never have to warm a bottle again all 3 of mine took it straight from the fridge much easier in the middle of the night. I breast fed but gave a bottle of formula at 10-11pm so that my husband could do that feed, baby got used to a bottle and I could go to bed early and get some well needed sleep.

    If your baby is crying after 1.5 to 2 hours of being awake he is probably tired so let him sleep...but not too long if you do let him sleep all day he will be awake half the night - a baby will learn a routine but does need some guidance to learn night and day...(in my opinion)

    Good luck and enjoy! It all gets loads easier after about 3 months.
  • My favourite pieces of kit were dummyclips to tie dummys to clothing and sock-ons to keep socks on feet.
    Somehow meet other mums and dads with babies the same age whether it is though sure start centres or NCT or online however you do it talking to other new parents will keep you sane because other people glaze over if you talk too much baby.
  • Raksha
    Raksha Posts: 4,569 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Keep the tshirt or nightie you wore yesterday to use as a sheet in the cot - your smell will help baby settle. If your OH will wear it (or just drape it across his shouldar) then baby will probably settle quicker with him too while you have a break.

    Babies sense of smell is amazing, I had a nephew who screamed when ever I held him, until I started using the same perfume his Mum wore, and then I was his favourite person... Use this to your advantage
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
  • bylromarha
    bylromarha Posts: 10,085 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 10 October 2012 at 8:22PM
    What I wish I'd known?

    That from day 1 you need to grow the thickest skin ever - everyone everywhere judges you, compares you, gets at you, glares at you.

    You stick to doing what you feel is right and listen to those whose advice you value and whose kids you can see are growing up as well rounded human beings!

    And if you live an organised life and you like to know how things are likely to be and you haven't really got a clue what is normal for babies, then borrow Contented baby by Gina Ford from the library for a quick read to see if it is you. Every organised parent I know got some good tips from it - every go with the flow parent I know found it restricting and hated it! But put the thick skin mentioned above on first if you intend to say in public that you found it helpful...
    Who made hogs and dogs and frogs?
  • barbiedoll wrote: »
    Things that are perfectly normal for a newborn baby......

    Hiccups....all babies have hiccups, you don't need to give them water or burp them if you have already done so, they just have a much weaker diaphragm muscle than adults so they hiccup at the drop of a hat. It doesn't harm them at all.

    When my baby got hiccup she used to cry, I found giving her water got rid of the hiccups and stopped her crying.
    :j Tehya Baby DD 22/03/2012 :j
    Sealed Pot Member #1842
    Wins 2013: £10, Necklace, Pringles Speaker, Hairdryer, Snoozeshade, Baby Sling, :)

  • My advice would be to try and go for a walk every day and get some fresh air. I think it helped my twins sleep, it makes you feel better and it helps with the post-baby weight!
    Predicted Net Worth 31/12/2018: -£38,898.03/-£34,616.86
    Target 31/12/2019: -£25,000
    Extra Income 2019: £1,500/£732.38
    Target Weight Loss 2019: -14 LBs/-2.5 LBs
    As at 3/4/2019 MFiT-T5 No 49
  • ClareEmily
    ClareEmily Posts: 931 Forumite
    edited 10 October 2012 at 9:09PM
    Hi there my "baby" is now 2 years old so the baby stage seems ages ago, here are my top tips:

    1) Remember to get some handy snacks in, cereal bars etc, you are so worried about baby that in the first few days you just forget to eat.

    2) I had stitches and no-one told me that they pulled and hurt more when they were actually nearly healed. I even got the midwife to take a look as was so worried that they had stitched it wrong.

    3) Also don't worry that down below doesn't feel normal, I didn't heel properly for months, and worried that I had damaged my pelvic floor as just couldn't stop mid flow for ages, but all was ok in the end, it does take your body a long time to recover.

    4) A boy will not wee on you forever, only do it as a newborn, mine hasn't done it since.

    5) Gripe Water worked for us.

    6) cuddle and hold your newborn for as long as YOU want take no notice what people say, the newborn stage passes so quickly I am glad I enjoyed him as much as possible.

    7) Keep a diary, it will be amazing what you forget.

    8) make a copy of your pregnancy notes (they will take them off you when you go into hospital to have baby) I forgot to do this.

    9) take hand and feet prints, they will never be this little again.

    10) take loads of photos but also lots of videos too, before you know it they will be a toddler.

    11) If you are finding it hard to make mummy friends, ask your health visitor to put you in touch with another local mum. I did this and a girl contacted me who lived just up the road, and has a child (with the same name as mine, and only 2 weeks older too) and we have been really good friends since, and our boys are really close.

    12) I found some woolly baby grows from Next with zips not poppers which were great, and my baby lived in these. http://www.next.co.uk/x50862s2#825516x50sUp to 1 mth?i=upto1mth Poppers are a pain, so are outfits which have to go over babies heads. Get nannies knitting, hand knitted cardi's are great.

    13) Get a car seat that isn't already heavy before the baby is in it, and read the instructions before you are trying to get baby in it to leave the hospital.
  • Ok where to begin.
    Breastfeeding or bottle-fed is entirely your choice. I was determined to breastfeed but bought formula just in case. In hospital breastfeeding worked great, but once I came home my son refused to latch on. When I told my midwife even she couldnt get him to do it and basically told me to starve him until he latched back on - I was mortified and felt like i'd already failed as a mother. My husband and I nodded and smiled and when she went we made up some formula. When the health visitor came around to check my stitches I told her my problems and she said we'd done the right thing and not to worry. She showed me how to work a breastpump so that I could still feed my son breast milk. I was so relieved and following her advice I kept trying him on my breast. A couple of days later he latched back on (I cried, lol). I continued to combine breast and bottle with no problems, so dont think you need to do one or the other.
    Join websites for lots of vouchers and freebies.
    I prefer to follow advice from family such as parents and grandparents. If you trust what you're doing stick with it dont let other bully you into it.
    Your wife will probably live in pj's for a week or two (I did) and shouldnt feel bad for that. Comfort is everything.
    You'll be given loads of clothes and probably wont get round to putting your little one into most of them. My son lived in babygros' for months (they look so cute in them) and a woman at work complained that I never dressed him up. It made me feel bad but at two months old he was awkward to dress and due to his explosive bowels would only mess up the clothes and have to be changed.
    Speaking of bowels it's apparently very normal for babies not to go for days then go explosively. The longest my son went was 5 days though he usually went every 3 days like clockwork - all up his back, down his legs, everywhere, be warned.
    As others have said sleeping bags are great for babies who constantly kick off covers. Second hand clothes are nothing to be ashamed off whether it's from relatives or ebay. My cousin had her son a year before I had mine and I get all the clothes that he has grown out of. They're in great nick and because they're not in them long it saves a fortune.
    There's probably a hundred more things to say but thats enough for now. Above all enjoy it.
  • Ooo another one:

    You will probably be so sleep deprived especially if you are breastfeeding and no-one else can help with feeding, that you will go a little loopy. I left a boiling hot hospital still taking meds for high blood pressure to a freezing cold house with loads of visitors, and after 3 days of no sleep I felt so not with it that I had to ask my hubby to keep an eye on me, to carry the baby up the stairs for me, and to make sure I didn't roll on baby in bed. Some nights my baby actually looked like an alien and I swear he was giving me a funny look. Honestly being sleep deprived plays tricks on your mind, just be honest with your nearest and dearest and try your best to sleep during the day on sofa (moses basket next to you) when baby sleeps (easier said than done).
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 244.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 599.3K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177K Life & Family
  • 257.6K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.