Real-life MMD: Should I give former colleague an undeserved reference?
Former_MSE_Debs
Posts: 890 Forumite
Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give former colleague an undeserved reference?
A few years ago, I arranged with my boss to get an old colleague some part-time work. But she messed it up, and didn't deliver as expected. Now she's applied for a new job and asked me if I'll be a referee. Her husband has disabilities and she's been struggling to get work. But if I told the truth, it wouldn't exactly be a glowing report.
Previous MMDs: View All
[threadbanner] box [/threadbanner]
A few years ago, I arranged with my boss to get an old colleague some part-time work. But she messed it up, and didn't deliver as expected. Now she's applied for a new job and asked me if I'll be a referee. Her husband has disabilities and she's been struggling to get work. But if I told the truth, it wouldn't exactly be a glowing report.
Click reply to have your say
Note: Please remember that these are real-life Money Moral Dilemmas and while we want you to have your say, please remember to be nice when you respond.Previous MMDs: View All
[threadbanner] box [/threadbanner]
0
Comments
-
"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!" This person has already let you down once, do you really think it is worth risking your professional reputation a second time for somebody that isn't even a friend? In my opinion her personal circumstances should be irrelevant.0
-
I would advise saying sorry but you don't think you can give a reference. Your boss won't be impressed with you if you give her a good reference and she turns out to be rubbish again.0
-
No.
In fact, you owe a duty of care to the prospective employer. If you give a positive reference which they rely on, and subsequently find is false, then they could claim against you (or your boss).
Are you allowed to give references for other former employees? I would just tell this old colleague that all references have to be given by your boss, and you can't put your own job at risk by disobeying his instructions.
And supposing you subsequently apply for a job with the same employer? They'll already have you down as 'the person who gives references for unreliable people and whose judgement can't be trusted'.A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.0 -
If it's a work reference and not a personal reference, just do a basic HR reference, stating the dates she worked at the company and what her duties were. If it's going to be a phone reference just keep the answers short, don't lie, but don't expand on anything.Sometimes i surprise myself by being right.0
-
Any reference given should be accurate in all cases and as you had problems with this colleague it could be a 'bad' reference. I think that you either tell her you can no longer give a reference or that it will be a true reflection of when you worked together.Lost my soulmate so life is empty.
I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
Diana Gabaldon, Outlander0 -
As Mattjimf says, just give a basic reference. They generally say something along the lines of "I can confirm that X worked for us during the period of X to X. The duties of the role were X, Y, Z."0
-
Friends are friends, and business is business. You don't have any duty to support the woman or her family, and she hasn't delivered. I think you have to detach yourself emotionally, she is asking you for a business related service so forget how you feel, is it sound business sense giving her a reference?
To put it in another context, a friend recently had a request from a family member asking if they would be a referee for an item on credit. It then transpired my friend would be one of only four referees, and I was already aware of some debt problems with the person in question (so a bad credit risk already in other words). My friend was teetering on the brink of saying yes to giving a reference until I pointed out the hassle he would get and even potentially to be sued for making a false representation. The tough decision was made and the request was knocked back - even though it was family, it was still the right decision.0 -
Some references won't allow just the basic HR type reference, theyll ask specific questions which will need to be answered. Why not suggest that someone else may be able to provide a more glowing reference than the honest one you can provide? If they insist / beg you've already warned them you'll be truthful.0
-
Her problem, not yours. Don't do it.0
-
No !!!
A reference from you is also a reference of you. If you give an inaccurate reference or false information - it will reflect badly on you too.
If she messes up, it will make you look bad, and your judgement would be questionable tooMortgage when started (Dec 2005): £120,000
Current mortgage (March 2011): £98,563
Update (Jan 2014): £89,639
Mortgage free day: Jan 20340
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 342.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 249.8K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.3K Spending & Discounts
- 234.4K Work, Benefits & Business
- 606.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 172.7K Life & Family
- 247.2K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards