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  • FIRST POST
    cepheus
    Mother keeps having money stolen
    • #1
    • 20th Mar 12, 10:23 AM
    Mother keeps having money stolen 20th Mar 12 at 10:23 AM
    My 88 yr old Mother has recently lost some money again from her bungalow. It is all a bit of a mystery, but she doesn't seem to be vigilant enough to manage cash in the house. She is insistent at having about £250-£500 cash available for independence, although she rarely needs large amounts and we can nip out to a nearby cash till to get the odd £20 or £30 for her. We have recently convinced us to allow us to use her bank card for bill payments though.

    I have suggested she keep money in bedroom rather than the living room before the last episode but this fell on death ears and it may only be more sucure in the night. I don't know if someone has stolen it or if she has mislaid it, the former possibility seems more likely now. She does have various home help, people can get in during the day in case of emergency, but I don't entirely rule out someone closer.

    If I bought a briefcase with a lock I suppose the entire briefcase would be nicked. Although she has been taken ill recently and is more vulnerable then usual. I have instructions to get £250 for her today! Any ideas are welcome.

    Normally live a long distance away but am over for what I hope is a week to sort various issues out, this is just one.
    “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”
    - Upton Sinclair.
Page 2
  • devildog
    As far a I know cards and PINs should never to be shared. Joint account holders, including attorneys and donors, are each given their own cards and PINs.
    Originally posted by alanq
    I have been given a card and pin for an account I am an authorised signatory on but equally I can go online without this and have access to their account through logging on with my account(both have accounts with same bank)
  • meg72
    She did lay a trap with somw small notes, nothing went amiss.

    The lockable cabinet should be sufficient to avoid opportunistic thieves if not professional ones with a crowbar. Wether she uses it or not is something else. That reminds me I will have to get another key made in case she loses it.

    The irony is that there is no need for large amounts of money, Cousin can nip into till at any time 100 yds down the road. He comes in every day. Every time I ask what does she need it for, she goes beserk, must be operating a money laundering operation somewhere
    Originally posted by cepheus
    I really feelfor you on this, but have to say you cannot protect
    your Mom from herself and if she insists on keeping the money in the house you cant stop her.You say she goes berserk if you askwhat she need it for, my own Mom is the same but in her case its several thousand pounds gone missing, and we know this is down to a family member, when we (my Brother and i) tried to protect her she turned gainst us in favour of the other family member.

    Have had to accept that its her choice and of course ,her money
    andjust let her get on with it. Heartbreaking though it is to know that she is being used and robbed
    GC is to spend same or bit less than last year.
    Jan 50/50.Feb100/54 Mar 50/60.April 100/72.
    May50/95.June50/55.July85/72.Aug50/49
    Sept 40/45Oct 45/40.Nov 50/60 Dec 100/85
    total for year 765/732
  • blossomhill
    That's distressing for you, sorry to hear this

    Ref the card details; when I spoke to my mum's bank about her suggestion that we needed a joint account in case she went into hospital and she couldn't get to any cash, the bank said "she could just ask you to use her card and PIN, if she trusts you" - I asked if this would be within the rules and they said yes

    I would suggest asking the bank for some consecutively numbered notes and then reporting the numbers to the police if they go missing - if it is a simple misunderstanding then no harm done

    The amount involved sounds similar to the amount my elderlies have wanted to keep by them to keep feeling independent, I wouldn't suggest trying to restrict that, just try to catch or deter the tealeaf - perhaps even by putting a note with the cash saying "the serial numbers of these notes have been recorded for reporting to the police in the event of theft"

    Or setting up a notebook for all legitimate callers to record any money she gives them, so they know that it is being looked into "Dear visitors/carers, please note in here all cash paid to you by mum, as she has lost track of some recently so it is necessary to account for her cash formally now"

    HTH
    You never know how far-reaching something good, that you may do or say today, may affect the lives of others tomorrow
  • Biggles
    Ref the card details; when I spoke to my mum's bank about her suggestion that we needed a joint account in case she went into hospital and she couldn't get to any cash, the bank said "she could just ask you to use her card and PIN, if she trusts you" - I asked if this would be within the rules and they said yes
    Originally posted by blossomhill
    It certainly wouldn't be 'within the rules'. Whoever told you this needs showing the bank door before they mislead anybody else.
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