Staff Xmas party help desp needed

tan160581 · 11 December 2006 at 10:10PM

I dont know if im posting on the right thread - so pls place me on the right one if i am wrong.
My problem is its my work xmas party tomorrow at lunchtime, i work from home and my manager said ive got to go tomorrow ive never met any of these people and am quite a shy person and on top of this ive been suffering from depression and have have put on 2 stone and none of my clothes fit - all i can fit into are my gym clothes ( and i cant wear these to my lunchtime staff xmas party)
as well as that im skint i have got £30 to last me till 18th dec for food and petrol and my meal will be £10.50 not to mention drinks they want afterwards ( i really cant afford it)
i was ill 2 weeks ago with a sickness bug so i cant be ill, and my manager is really a pushy person and said no ifs and buts ive got to be there and wants every1 to be there
i really dont know what to do and am worrying bout it as we speak as i know i embarrass myself with by wearing gym clothes to a xmas party and watching my pennies plus im very shy too and have never met these people

Seaxwyn · 11 December 2006 at 10:51PM

Hi Tan

Poor you, what a worry.

It sounds as if you haven't got much choice if your boss is that pushy. Just go in your gym clothes, say you are busy and just fitting it in on the way to the gym. Eat the minimum you can and leave before the drinks, saying again that you're busy.

The people that like parties will be enjoying themselves too much to care what anyone else does and there will probably be one or two others as shy as yourself. Honestly noone else is going to give much thought to what you're wearing, what you eat or don't eat, or anything else. Even if they think it's odd that you're in gym clothes, they won't give it much thought.

There may well be other people who don't want to spend much who will be grateful to you for leading the way saying "no champagne for me, I'm saving for Christmas presents" or whatever.

Best of luck and hope it goes OK for you

Seaxwyn

dmg24 · 11 December 2006 at 11:59PM

Hi Tan,

What a nightmare, the last thing you need at the moment is to have to go and make polite conversation when you really don't want to be there.

If your boss is not understanding, then I would find an excuse to get out of it. Are you just going for lunch? If so, you could break down on the way?

Do you think it might help you to go along? I know when I am at my lowest I cannot bare to be around anyone except my nearest and dearest (and often not even them!).

Though it is difficult not to, I would try not to worry about what your manager thinks about your reason for not attending. Even if he is off with you for a few days, it will inevitably be forgotten soon enough.

Really hope you get something sorted. Let me know what happens, or if you need anything else x

Pauper_Princess · 12 December 2006 at 11:32AM

Hi Tan

Just wanted to say I know how you feel - I'm starting a new job in January and have to go to lunch with all my new colleagues this Friday and I'm DREADING it. I'm really really shy too and this is going to be a nightmare!

Also been through depression this year and have put on about 2 and a half stone. None of my nice clothes fit either!!

Let us know if you decide to go - it might not be as bad as you think. If someone at this lunch on Friday is wearing gym clothes I certainly wouldn't think twice about it! Like mentioned above, you might be just on your way there!! People are probably too worried about what they look like

AndyR_3 · 12 December 2006 at 6:02PM

Could you borrow some clothes? Or maybe a charity shop would sell you an outfit cheaply?

You could develop an allergy that means you can't eat the meal, but could call in for a couple of (cheap soft) drinks after?

emmaBZ · 12 December 2006 at 6:06PM

if you dont want to go then dont you are an adult and make your own choices in life ....its a xmas party not compulsory training or such like....if you cant afford it and you dont want to then whats the point of going...? you wont enjoy it if youre worrying about spending money you cant afford ect....sod it ....

aurora_borealis_2 · 12 December 2006 at 6:16PM

Tan, did you go?

wlfc1 · 12 December 2006 at 6:27PM

tan160581 wrote:

I dont know if im posting on the right thread - so pls place me on the right one if i am wrong.
My problem is its my work xmas party tomorrow at lunchtime, i work from home and my manager said ive got to go tomorrow ive never met any of these people and am quite a shy person and on top of this ive been suffering from depression and have have put on 2 stone and none of my clothes fit - all i can fit into are my gym clothes ( and i cant wear these to my lunchtime staff xmas party)
as well as that im skint i have got £30 to last me till 18th dec for food and petrol and my meal will be £10.50 not to mention drinks they want afterwards ( i really cant afford it)
i was ill 2 weeks ago with a sickness bug so i cant be ill, and my manager is really a pushy person and said no ifs and buts ive got to be there and wants every1 to be there
i really dont know what to do and am worrying bout it as we speak as i know i embarrass myself with by wearing gym clothes to a xmas party and watching my pennies plus im very shy too and have never met these people

Just say you've had a death in the family, works everytime

personally, I just said im not going, told him that I don't want to sit there and pretending to be happy I like the people I work with, no problem.

bengal-stripe · 12 December 2006 at 10:01PM

I don’t think there is anything unreasonable to expect an employee to attend a Christmas party. Particular one who works from home and is only known to her co-workers as a voice on the phone or the sender of e-mails.

That disembodied voice over the phone, might have worked for “Charley’s Angels”.

I hope your firm arranges a bonding weekend soon. Tan, you might even make a friend or two.

wlfc1 wrote:

Just say you've had a death in the family, works everytime.

What an evil piece of advice. One does not abuse those things for personal gains.

dmg24 · 12 December 2006 at 10:13PM

bengal-stripe,

I don't think you understood Tan's concerns. She is not saying that it is unreasonable, just asking for some support for her (quite valid) concerns.

wlfc1's comment was intended to help Tan. I don't see any need to refer to it as 'evil'.

bengal-stripe · 13 December 2006 at 1:01AM

dmg24 wrote:

wlfc1's comment was intended to help Tan. I don't see any need to refer to it as 'evil'.

I believe any person who has no sense of decency and invents such a barefaced lie as a death in the family (when there was none) ought to be hit instantly by a real death within their family.

That’s not a white lie, that’s a raven black one. Sorry, I find that inexcusable. I had a death in the family recently.

Staff Xmas party help desp needed

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