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Please Help
dacks
Posts: 11 Forumite
Hi
My Mum sold her house in 2006 and went into a authority semi independent flat. Over the next 3 yrs she gave us 6 kids about 10,000 pounds each, not all at once, I think we all got 3 cheques each over 3 yrs.
Mum also had the decorators in to completely do the flat and carpets laid, she bought a new television and 3 piece suite.
Today she was told that she has shouldnt have given her family any money and now the family will have to pay for her care
She was on care plan 3, which is about 200 and something pounds per week and she is now on plan 1 which is 20 something pound a week and they have told her to get her family to help her to clean, wash, iron, shop etc.
I am appalled by this because I have sat in on numerous meetings where my Mums old social worker and a local authority financial advisor told my Mum it was ok to make gifts of money to her children.
Is there anything she can do?
My Mum sold her house in 2006 and went into a authority semi independent flat. Over the next 3 yrs she gave us 6 kids about 10,000 pounds each, not all at once, I think we all got 3 cheques each over 3 yrs.
Mum also had the decorators in to completely do the flat and carpets laid, she bought a new television and 3 piece suite.
Today she was told that she has shouldnt have given her family any money and now the family will have to pay for her care
She was on care plan 3, which is about 200 and something pounds per week and she is now on plan 1 which is 20 something pound a week and they have told her to get her family to help her to clean, wash, iron, shop etc.
I am appalled by this because I have sat in on numerous meetings where my Mums old social worker and a local authority financial advisor told my Mum it was ok to make gifts of money to her children.
Is there anything she can do?
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Comments
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What has happened to the rest of the money from the sale of her house?0
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Hi
When Mum went to live in her flat she hadnt sold her house so for a year she lived rent free, when she sold the house she paid nearly 13,000 for the 12 months rent.
She does go through a lot of money and shops a lot,
We have gone through her accounts roughly and it seems about right, she has 8,000 in the bank now.
I forgot to say that she gave all her grand children money too.
I dont know what to do next to help her really, I mean I can clean and shop and do her laundry for her but I cannot be there daily and we were told today that she needs daily help and they will be monitoring her for the next 6 weeks on this level of care, I think its 10 hrs a week.
Mum has PSP and its a horrible condition , she falls over a lot and if she gets up in the night and falls over I wont be there, what if she has used her 10 hrs!!!!!0 -
Hi
When Mum went to live in her flat she hadnt sold her house so for a year she lived rent free, when she sold the house she paid nearly 13,000 for the 12 months rent.
She does go through a lot of money and shops a lot,
We have gone through her accounts roughly and it seems about right, she has 8,000 in the bank now.
I forgot to say that she gave all her grand children money too.
I dont know what to do next to help her really, I mean I can clean and shop and do her laundry for her but I cannot be there daily and we were told today that she needs daily help and they will be monitoring her for the next 6 weeks on this level of care, I think its 10 hrs a week.
Mum has PSP and its a horrible condition , she falls over a lot and if she gets up in the night and falls over I wont be there, what if she has used her 10 hrs!!!!!
Surely, between the 6 of you and the children, it should be possible to provide care for her!0 -
£180 a week between 6 of you is only £30 each.
You have had £10k from her after all.
If you can provide some of the care between you as well, perhaps you can just pay for the shortfall?0 -
£180 a week between 6 of you is only £30 each.
You have had £10k from her after all.
If you can provide some of the care between you as well, perhaps you can just pay for the shortfall?
And don't forget the grandchildren (I see from an earlier post that the OP is 65); they've had money as well.0 -
Hi
First of all not every thing is all neatly cut and dried in families, it certainly isnt in mine!!!!
My Family
My sister has Cerebral palsy and lives in a residential care home.
Two brothers are drug addicts and are worse than useless to us.
Two brothers have very young families both with babies on the way too and though they work money is tight with mortgages to pay and a young family to keep.
I work part time and my money is made up by income support till I can get back to work full time, I am recovering from surgery.
I can give my time to sit with mum, to clean and shop and do anything she wants but I cant stay every night.
Basically I cannot be with her 24 hrs a day.
It may seem that we took the money and ran but nothing is further than the truth. We love our Mum dearly and only want whats best for her.
Every morning she needs a hand in the shower, as you can see im the only girl that can help but I am at work 4 mornings a week!0 -
Surely if your sister is in a care home she has not spent much of her money? I'm not saying that she should give back more than the others, but you need to find an immediate solution, and this could be one.
Did you declare your money to IS? £10,000 in capital would affect your entitlement.
I hate to say it, but why did she give such a large amount of money to drug addicts?
Many of us have had to be in the situation where a loved one needs care, either by us providing the care or paying someone else to do this. Whilst it is never easy, you will have to sit down as a group and find ways to ensure mum is safe and cared for.Gone ... or have I?0 -
Hi,
My Mum gave everyone the same, I know that many people will think its irresponsible to give drug addicts that amount of money, I would agree with them too but Mum gives all or nothing, everything has to be fair!!
I have arranged a meeting for tomorrow night for all siblings except my sister to meet and discuss what we can do for Mum.
Thank you for your advice.0 -
Surely if your sister is in a care home she has not spent much of her money? I'm not saying that she should give back more than the others, but you need to find an immediate solution, and this could be one.
Did you declare your money to IS? £10,000 in capital would affect your entitlement.
I hate to say it, but why did she give such a large amount of money to drug addicts?
Many of us have had to be in the situation where a loved one needs care, either by us providing the care or paying someone else to do this. Whilst it is never easy, you will have to sit down as a group and find ways to ensure mum is safe and cared for.
Oh thank goodness you said all that - I was biting my lip til the blood came!0 -
Although this isn't what you're asking, I wonder if you'd thought of claiming Pension Credit (this would also pay your rent) rather than working. This would enable you to look after your mother.0
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