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Joint Residency - Please help!

Hi,
My partner and his son want to go for joint residency. There is major opposition from his ex and she makes their son very scared along with brainwashing and manipulation.
We did to make a move on this as soon as possible but I really need some advice on ways to reduce the stress on the little guy?? But also how to keep him focused on what he wants and how to stand up for himself.

Also we don't have a lot of money, we are just about to move house, are there cheap ways to do this, we had some advice from a dad who got joint residency and didn't have a solicitor but really need as much as possible.

They are both very scared.

Comments

  • how old is the child?
    how close do you live to the kids mum?
    how often does the child stay with you and his dad overnight ?
  • lepetit
    lepetit Posts: 236 Forumite
    He's 10 1/2
    She lives 6 miles away
    He sees him Wednesday after school till 6. Then Friday after school overnight till Saturday at 6. School holidays- maybe one more night during half terms, Easter and Xmas 2-3 extra nights, Summer 3 week with 3-4 extra nights during the weeks, he hasn't ever stayed with more than 3 nights in a chunk!
  • lepetit
    lepetit Posts: 236 Forumite
    Can anyone help???
  • mikeouk
    mikeouk Posts: 534 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    lepetit wrote: »
    Can anyone help???

    at 10 and a half, his wishes will be taken into account by a court. Try going to cafcass http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/ and get them involved. your partner needs to talk to his son and point out to him that this could be a long process and that his mother may try to persuade him not to go through with it, its difficult for a child to understand but he needs to know that its his wishes that matter.
  • FNF (Families Need Fathers) do some very good publications giving advice on lots of things related to children and family break up. One of them is called "For the Sake of the Children". Also loads of advice generally on the site.

    They are for all non residential parents (not just fathers).

    They are at fnf.org.uk

    Hope that helps

    SS
    GC 2016 Jan £259.35/£250 Feb £lost track/£250 Mar £163.70/£250
    Emergency Fund Savings Target £600/£2,400
    Other Savings Target £664.50/£1,000
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  • lepetit
    lepetit Posts: 236 Forumite
    Cafcass scare me when it comes to residency as have heard so many horror stories about them being for mothers only!
  • I think you are best dealing with a specialist in Family Law. So, it costs money, but I can't think of anything more important than a child to be spending it on.

    Ignore scare stories - for every bloke bemoaning the evil ex who stops him from seeing his child (and is telling the truth), there's another one who hasn't mentioned he beat the wotsits out of her or couldn't be bothered to cut down on the drinking to be able to afford the legal fees. You just don't know if what they are telling you is true or not.

    Courts favour the child's best interests, and could feasibly make an order granting either joint residence or additional contact, for example, two - three weeks in summer holidays, a week at Christmas, etc. Despite the scare stories, if an order is made for contact, the mum is left in no doubt whatsoever that it would not be advisable to be in breach of the order.

    Charities and pressure groups have their place, but I believe that it is outside the court and campaigning where they belong. It's a legal matter and you should have a legal representative.

    It's too important to try and skimp on it.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
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  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    lepetit wrote: »
    Cafcass scare me when it comes to residency as have heard so many horror stories about them being for mothers only!
    They claim to be part of the court service. Is their impartiality doubtful?
    Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam
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