Family involved with wedding day

towseriv · 29 May 2006 at 8:01PM

Why is it no matter how obvious it is that it is your and your brides day there are some people that think that what they think and what they want and thier lives should be worked around it?

I have my two nephews involvd in my wedding, one as an usher and one as a........BEST MAN!!! So when I tell my sister I need them for trying on thier wedding clothes (for want of a better term) I get told that they are very busy and I should of given them at least three weeks notice. Not only that but then she asks what we are having as a starter "prawn cocktail". I then get asked how much of that will waste, do I realise how many people dont eat prawns, this that, the other, what main? Beef dinner, that passes fine, pudding? Profiteroles, they apparently are greacy (cant spell it) and will people really want to eat them? fresh cream in them too? lots of people dont like fresh cream you know.

I dont recall asking what they thought and most people would think it a privilage to be asked to be part of the service at all, let alone have two of thier kids involved. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

skystar · 29 May 2006 at 8:21PM

towseriv, unfortunately I think this sort of things happens at most weddings.

When I first started planning mine one of my cousins had a opinion on absolutely everything. I swear to God I am surprised she didn't say black when I said I was having a white dress :rolleyes:

I got really upset and stressed about it. What someone advised me to do was not to rise to it, smile (through grated teeth) and say "Thanks for that suggestion, I will give it some thought"!

And sorry but three weeks notice!! Whats that all about!

Anyway, hope you have a great wedding. When is the big day?!?

Becles · 29 May 2006 at 8:22PM

Lol - I had the same thing when I married the first time. My in-laws had a right strop because they think a 3 course meal must have soup as a starter, and we'd picked melon.

As it happens, the wedding was on the hottest day of the year, and after standing around in the sun having photo's taken, everyone was thrilled at the sight of nice cool melon slices!

They also insisted we had apple pie as a dessert, even though I can't stand apple pie

Just got married again and we arranged it all ourselves. People just got told what was happening, rather than asked an opinion. We got exactly the day we wanted with no stress, and we really enjoyed it.

Rachie_B · 30 May 2006 at 8:19AM

youve got to stick to your guns ,smile sweetly through gritted teeth and do it YOUR way

dont be swayed by anyone ,its yours and H2Bs day and the desicions are yours to make not anyone elses !

if you dont you will regret it after the big day thinking oh i wish i hadnt done xyz etc

repeat after me : MY day MY way

enjoy the planning its the best part

bylromarha · 30 May 2006 at 9:46AM

Rachie_B wrote:

enjoy the planning its the best part

No way...wediing night is easily the best part!

All the family think they're trying to help and are only doing it because they love you.

Frustrating though, isn't it? Every idea for our wedding my MIL to be forced out of me got a resounding "that's a bad idea because..." So we ended up with everything she thought wouldn't work...and what a surprise, it was the perfect day, she even said so herself!

rchddap1 · 30 May 2006 at 9:50AM

This is your wedding. Do it the way you want to.

Told partner's family about my 'expected arrival' at the weekend, and was told by one sister that we had to get married now so that the child wasn't born out of wedlock. Another wasn't interested in the slightest and we were told that she's had enough of babies and didn't want to know.

We will do things the way we want to. We will get married when we want to. We will do it the way we want to . And we will raise bean the way we want to (no matter how many oars they stick in on any of these issues).

nearlyrich · 30 May 2006 at 10:02AM

Whoever pays the piper calls the tune....but I also think the happy couple should have the right of veto on all arrangements.

No wonder so many people go away to get married:whistle:

:beer:Congrats on the wedding, don't let them spoil your day :beer:

Congrats to rchddap1 too just spotted your news don't be bullied into doing what other people think is right just do what's right for you and your OH:j

Rachie_B · 30 May 2006 at 11:15AM

rchddap1 wrote:

This is your wedding. Do it the way you want to.

Told partner's family about my 'expected arrival' at the weekend, and was told by one sister that we had to get married now so that the child wasn't born out of wedlock. Another wasn't interested in the slightest and we were told that she's had enough of babies and didn't want to know.
We will do things the way we want to. We will get married when we want to. We will do it the way we want to . And we will raise bean the way we want to (no matter how many oars they stick in on any of these issues).

:eek: :mad:

congrats to you both

bylro we had a poorly 2 yr old between us on the wedding night :mad: :rotfl: we more than made up for it on our child free honeymoon though :beer:

Spendless · 30 May 2006 at 11:17AM

rchddap1 wrote:

Told partner's family about my 'expected arrival' at the weekend, and was told by one sister that we had to get married now so that the child wasn't born out of wedlock.
.

CONGRATULATIONS :j
When I was expecting my 1st someone who was a divorced single mum told me that I should get married cos her experience had been that officials looked down on people with Miss to their name and a child. I asked her how she knew since she had got married when she discovered she was pregnant and had always been a Mrs with a child

OP_I agree with what the others have said either tell them what is happening and/or respond with i'll give it some thought (but don't bother;) )

nearlyrich -I did go away to get married, unfortunately it didn't stop all of the fuss. I always said I wanted the marriage, just wasn't keen on the wedding that went with it. I'd have liked to have filled in some forms (bit like a credit card application), posted it off and waited for a reply that said as from x date you are married:rotfl:

rchddap1 · 30 May 2006 at 11:19AM

Can't resist mentioning it....have been holding my tongue for a few months. Now I can talk about it and it feels great.

scooper · 30 May 2006 at 3:10PM

congratulations first off!
but oh no,this is your day,you have spent so much time,effort and money on making YOUR day special
now i know you have to think of others for eating,but there is being say a veggie,nut allergy,wheat etc that you have to watch for and being plain rude and fussy.
i would defenitly have to say something,not in a nasty way but say this is all upseting you,and its something that should be a special time
one thing that has jsut struck me is,is she jealous of you?is she married?maybe wrong but dont knw why she would be like that being your sister and her sons are involved in the wedding.
good luck

Family involved with wedding day

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