Clutter busting

Jays · 8 April 2006 at 12:50AM

Does anyone have any tips and advice about Clutter Busting.

My DH hoards clutter everywhere, I have got so fed up with this over the last 26 years as we end up arguing whenever I ask him to sort it out.

When I start to do any housework I find it really hinders me as I cannot just get on with it, I have to move the clutter, dust it and try to sort it etc.

He even opens the mail, and leave a pile of papers, with the envelopes etc, important letters together with the junk mail etc for me to 'try' to sort. I say 'try' as I cannot file the paperwork at the moment as he has blocked the filing drawers with bags, boxes and piles of other stuff, hence, the paperwork is sitting in piles all over the house.

Our spare bedroom now looks like his dressing room, as he leaves his suites etc, overnight bags, exercise bags etc etc in there.

If he starts a household job, he never puts the tools away, they either sit in the utility for months, or get dumped in the garage whereever there is a spare place and therefore, our tidy garage becomes a junk store.

I've got to the stage of not wanting to do the housework (so it all builds up and 'gets on top of me'), and resorting to building the piles in the corner of our bedroom etc to try to embarrass him. But, without success, the piles just get bigger.

I even have to fight my way through clutter to get to the computer!!

It means, we either fight or have expressive discussions about it all, and end up giving up days off and weekends to try to sort out garages, bedrooms etc; that if we had kept on top off in the first place we would not have to give up holiday for....

Rant, rant,..... sorry

Any suggestions?

Jays

And don't get me started on the diving gear he leaves every where

outrageous_monkey · 8 April 2006 at 5:54AM

I found this website http://organizedhome.com Its been mentioned a few times on here, and people seem to like it. There is a section of getting rid of the clutter, so maybe that could help.
If all the paper work was left to me in our house, then I think ours would look like yours. I'm a bit like your husband, I open it all and then just leave the letters lieing around for my husband to sort out :embarasse , however I do throw the junk mail away.
The only other thing to do, is when he is out of the house, say diving, just start by doing small bits at a time then he wont 'really' notice that your de-cluttering.
Dont try and put yourself under too much pressure, there is more to life than cleaning or having the perfect house.
Hope this helps.

Julie

Mrs_Thrify · 8 April 2006 at 7:07AM

Good Morning Jays
I have a house with teenagers and oh, So over the years I have fine tuned my methods. Upstairs and downstairs I have blue and green swing top bins. They colour match the bins outside. To save time, I put a large roll of value bags in the bottom, just ripping the full one off.All our old papers and plastic bottles etc is put in the being green one - usualy by ME! Should anyone dare to leave jumpers/clothes down stairs over night - in the morning the washing machine goes on early so they loose it!!!
Bigger items are moved to bedrooms -out of sight! As you say in your case you could dump it in the spare room and at the end of the month threaten to have a clear out if it is not moved.Glass bottles and old clothes go to the recycle bins at Tesco's on my way to do the shopping. P.S I hold down a 50hr week job. So they learn! keep it tidy or loose it! I am an expert at throwing out!!!

MonkeyGirl · 8 April 2006 at 8:53AM

I have a suggestion but it isn't overly sensible but it does work. When your in a really bad mood gather up all his stuff including letters and envelopes sling them in a black bag or several and shove them in the wardrobe or loft. Then when he comes home and you get " Darling where is such and such " point him in the direction of the black bags and say go and find it if you had put it away in the first place you would know where stuff was. If he leaves it in a mess afterwards just sling it all back in the black bag. You need to be a bit ruthless to do it mind and keep doing it every so often. He will soon get the message.

Good luck with it.

MonkeyGirl

oldMcDonald · 8 April 2006 at 8:59AM

https://www.flylady.net

You will either love her or hate her and her blasted e-mails!

Helps by breaking down the housework and decluttering into less daunting smaller jobs.

thriftlady_2 · 8 April 2006 at 9:04AM

I think Monkey Girl's suggestion is very good! I do something similar with my kids' stuff.

I read a good book on decluttering years ago, it's American and as you'd expect very motivational.http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1593373295/qid=1144483353/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_3_2/026-3782953-4217217

HTH

Lillibet_2 · 8 April 2006 at 9:43AM

I take Monkeygorls suggestion one stage further:o If it isn't sorted by bin day it goes in the dustbin:p I usually tell him & leave a note on the heap to the same effect so he has no excuse if it gets chucked. It has caused a fair few arguments but deep down he knows' I'm right & he doesn't have much of a case. It seems to work for a while, then he reverts and so the cycle beings again..........:rolleyes:

Good luck;)

moggins · 8 April 2006 at 9:53AM

One piece of advice I found that was invaluable was to remember that you cannot change other people, only yourself and how you react to them. After 26 years and constant arguing you are obviously not going to change him regardless of what you try. Go for what you want without putting any pressure on him, if you want a neat tidy home and he doesn't seem to care then it's only you and your efforts that can make that home.

Start making sure there are places for everything to go, even if that means buying a huge supply of boxes and baskets then next time if you have to move something, put it away instead - and don't stop to think it's his mess and he should be putting it away, that kind of thinking will only make you angry and sap your energy. After staying with him for 26 years he must have some good points, he's a natural mess maker. Stay positive, I have a hugely messy family but when that house is clean and clear I can smile and appreciate my efforts even if no one else does

Bossyboots · 8 April 2006 at 10:08AM

Agree with Monkeygirl.

I also put stuff into the bed so that OH has to take it out to get in himself. (I can sleep right on the edge of the bed if I need to so it doesn't bother me) The next day I put it all back when I make the bed. A couple of days of this and it is either put away properly or binned if that was its correct destination.

nabowla · 8 April 2006 at 10:08AM

Have you got enough easily accessible storage? Not the sort of storage that a tidy, organised person would use but the sort of stuff that doesn't require any effort from a messy husband! For example, you could have two nice trays/small boxes on a table next to the front door. One is for action mail, one for junk mail. You'll also need a rubbish bin right next to the table. Husband can then open the mail as soon as he gets in, chuck it in the right tray and the envelopes in the bin. It doesn't require any thought or effort from him and it'll be easy for you to sort through.

taplady · 8 April 2006 at 10:16AM

Bossyboots wrote:

Agree with Monkeygirl.

I also put stuff into the bed so that OH has to take it out to get in himself. (I can sleep right on the edge of the bed if I need to so it doesn't bother me) The next day I put it all back when I make the bed. A couple of days of this and it is either put away properly or binned if that was its correct destination.

I do this with my eldest son if his rooms a tip I just gather everything up and pile it on the bed so that he has to sort it before he can get into bed!:D

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Clutter busting

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