Newbie Debt Free Wannabee :( LONG ONE

MrsPitcher2b · 28 October 2008 at 3:03PM

Hey everyone

My name is Rachael and i am a shopoholic. Or a spend-a-holic really, not just clothes shopping - anything. My finace and I share our money, with me being 'in charge' of it. But i have a serious problem of saying 'No' to spending. He asks if he can buy a new game for his PS3 (Hes a big kid really) and instead of saying 'No, we have £30 left for the week which we really need for petrol' or something along those lines.. i say 'yeh course, why dont you get them both?!'

I mean, what is that all about?!! He always tells me to tell him no if we havent got it, so from this month he has told me he aint even gonna ask and IF we have any money left over we can use it for the bills.

I dont know what is considered serious debt - but what i have got is enough to keep me worrying all night. I have 2 credit cards, both just under the limit.

My debts are:
Nationwide Card: £1493 (£1560 limit!)
Virgin Credit Card: £1480 (£1500 limit!)
Mum & Dad Loan: £1500

I also have many direct debits for finance, which i am not TOO bothered about but would like to clear them as soon as possible. I am trying to bump up my credit rating so that we can get a decent mortgage and get a decent house. The other direct debits are:

Car Finance: £196
Car Insurance: £111
Currys Finance (Computer): £30
Internet/Phone line: £75 (Maximum)

And i plan to pay these off too eventually.

Today, my finace got paid, and i put £700 on the nationwide credit card. (Which will bring the total down to £800) which i am very happy about. We are due to be married in two years (16th october 2010) i set the date so far away so we can clear our debts asap and start saving properly. I get paid tomorrow, and i have worked out that we could put asnother £500 on the credit cards, but that would leave us with just enough to cover bills petrol and food. But as there is NOTHING that we want in this world, that i can honsetly think of, apart from getting married, i think that this will be ok.

I think i just want some reassurance that i can cope with not buying anything all month! I have been very good last month and just sort of went a bit off the rails this weekend because it was pay day this week, but I am hoping i will get used to it.

Also, i just wondered - what do you all do in your spare time without money to spend?! i used to go shopping almost every night after work. I have calmed down alot now lol but on the weekend all everyone wants to do is go shoping, and if i dont i just find i sit inside all night. I would like to take up a craft or something as a hooby to take my time up but just wondered if there is anything you guys do to pass the time?

I am hoping to clear the credit cards by January

I just need some hlep to get me through the boredom. I switch all the time, changing my mind from i will just pay £50 off a month, to i will pay £100 off a month, then to no i will pay as much as possible and not spend anythign each month. I no i need to clear them because they are really upsetting me and i have had another letter saying interest rates have increased again - i dont wanna get to our wedding day and have no money and nothing paid off and start married life in more debt!!

Grrr. Sorry this is a long one, i guess i havent had anyone else to talk about it to because my dad doesnt agree in credit and i dont wanna tell him ive failed

January seems so close, but yet so far....

milliemonster · 28 October 2008 at 3:35PM

Hi Rachael and welcome to the board, you sound just like me and my hubby were 10 years ago (except he still likes his ps3!!) we had about the same level of debt then, I was a spendaholic like you, but look at my sig now, I hope that shocks you enough to sort this out now!

Once you have debts, its so easy to just think, 'well we can easily afford to pay a lot more off if we wanted to but sod it, I'll just pay off a bit and spend the rest', but if you don't nip it in the bud earlt, it spirals and spirals and then takes over your life completely.

I think what you need to do is firstly cut up the credit cards, you obviously have a good surplus each month to overpay on your debts which is great, but to be honest, I would be looking at overpaying the computer first, I know you say that you aren't too worried about those but in my experience, Curry's finance is extortionate interest rate compared to credit cards. To pay your debts off quicker and pay the least amount of interest, you need to list you debts (including the car finance and computer as these are debts too) what their interest rates are aswell and then ensure you are overpaying on the highest APR debt first.

Next, you need to allocate some money each month for having a good time!, whether that's so you can go out, shopping etc, if you use all your spare cash on the debts, that's when you will end up using the credit cards again unless you are incredibly disciplined!. Give yourselves a set amount each month that you can spend on what you want and when it's gone, that's it!

You can have this level of debt paid off pretty quickly but remember xmas is coming up aswell so you need to budget for that rather than using the cards

good luck!

MrsPitcher2b · 28 October 2008 at 3:50PM

hi milliemonster

Thank you for replying

I no exactly what you mean about nipping it in the bud, i think thats why i have come on here! My sister is in silly amounts of debt - to the extent she is nearly bankrupt, and i no i will end up like that if i carry on!

I do think some months exactly what you said and end up spending the money rather than clearing the debts!

I never thought about the interest charges on these! I will have to dig out the paper work cos i am pretty sure it is huge - car wise, i asked for the settlement figure as it has been a year and they came back with about £5500 - i only borrowed £5000?!! So i have been paying a year for nothing!!

I do get a pretty good bonus at xmas, but that depends on how well the company does so at the minute i dont think it will be that much! But i think you are right, i will make these debts a priority because they are costing me the most!!

I have cut up one of the credit cards in the past, but i had the numbers wrote down

but i have destroyed them all today! so hopefully i will be ok ?

I am a bit worried about xmas, but i have bought the majority of my presents already which i am quite happy about (and i have got some money coming from the cashback sites which will cover the rest i need to get) so hopefully that will be ok!

I think thats where we go wrong, we dont set aside money for us and try to clear the debts as soon as possible, but then at the end of the month we go mad and splash out!! So that is a good point, we have to live - just not as wild/expensively as we did!!

Thank you for your advice

and hopefully my partner will have grown out of his PS3 in ten years!!!

all_hours · 28 October 2008 at 3:50PM

start by doing an soa - statement of affairs

link at top of forum the budget planner - use it to remind you of all your outgoings.
any you pay for quarterly - divide by 3 to get a monthly amount.
annual payments - divide by 12.
irregular spending add up what youve spent in the past 12 months and divide by 12

include the apr on the cards and how long the finance deals have left to run.
look at the interest rates on finance and if the terms say yuo can pay off early without penalties.
then put them through the snowball it will give the order to pay

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx?country=uk

put the soa here for other mse to make suggestions to cut back

have a clear out - theres a forum on mse for online selling. you will have old games that he no longer plays and clothes you no longer wear. good time to sell as its near christms.

halight · 28 October 2008 at 4:02PM

Hi,
You seem to know were you wont to get to you just need the will to keep at it..
You do need to make sure that you have some money for the both of you to have some fun or to go out with.
As a hobby why not come on here every night after work abnd start a diry of how you are getting on with paying off your debts
you could also offer help to others on here.
Have you cheeked out the freeby bord on here yet.
I recomed that you do and get yourself some freebys coming in the post to you.
Good luck and rember that every time you make a payment on your card you are a step closer to being debt free and a set closer to getting married and starting life anew
Good luck

scaredy_cat · 28 October 2008 at 4:09PM

Why not start a spending diary - seeing the amounts and where they have been spent actually written down will be a shock probably and might give you the nudge to start saying no!!

I've started using this site to keep track of my spending http://www.spendingdiary.com/ you can make your own headings and it will show you where your money is going.

MrsTinks · 28 October 2008 at 4:16PM

Whilst I think you mean well... I think you're trying to change too much too quickly...

Start by a full SOA and we'll have a look at what is what - the problem with over paying at the start of the month is you are not leaving yourself any cushion should anything happen. Do your SOA and then put the "spare" in a savings account till the end of the month. That way if you need it it's there but you have to move it before you can get to it so it's not as easy to get to

lizzie4785 · 28 October 2008 at 4:45PM

Hiya Rachael, and welcome from another newbie.

I've only been posting on here just over a week and am still yet to do my SOA, however the best piece of advise I've had from the guys on here is to start a spending diary. It's amazing to see where the money is going and I find it so satisfying writing a No Spend Day in that little red book :j

Take it one day at a time, it is possible with a little bit of willpower (something I lack)

Much Love

Lizzie xxxx

Luckystepho · 28 October 2008 at 6:20PM

Hi Rachael, I think you won't need a hobby as this site can be pretty addictive and you will probably find yourself on here every night!!

:beer:

Newbie Debt Free Wannabee :( LONG ONE

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