Benefits for fathers advice

Hicko02 · 21 August 2008 at 2:24PM

Hi,

My ex partner left a few months ago now and she currently gets near on £450 a month in child benefits. I however get nothing. There is no main carer as our child spends half his time here with me and then half with his mother as we live quite close. I also pay half his nursery bill and I think I should get a share of the benefits that go to helping to look after him as I have him for alot of the time. My ex partner will not let me have a penny and says that if I follow it up she will get intouch with the CSA as I currently pay nothing to them. But the reason for that is that I currently have him for much of the time and also pay half to all the other costs. She says that everyone at her work agrees with her and that I am being out of order in trying to get some of the share to look after him. Am I being out of order? Any advice?

Thanks for reading.

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Zara33 · 21 August 2008 at 2:33PM

Hicko02 wrote: »

Hi,

My ex partner left a few months ago now and she currently gets near on £450 a month in child benefits. I however get nothing. There is no main carer as our child spends half his time here with me and then half with his mother as we live quite close. I also pay half his nursery bill and I think I should get a share of the benefits that go to helping to look after him as I have him for alot of the time. My ex partner will not let me have a penny and says that if I follow it up she will get intouch with the CSA as I currently pay nothing to them. But the reason for that is that I currently have him for much of the time and also pay half to all the other costs. She says that everyone at her work agrees with her and that I am being out of order in trying to get some of the share to look after him. Am I being out of order? Any advice?

Thanks for reading.

Whoever gets the child benefit is actually classed as the main carer and gets all the relevant benefits. I appreciate this is not what you want to hear it's a naff system that is in place.

surreysaver · 21 August 2008 at 2:55PM

Perhaps every six months you can write to the Child Benefit people and change who gets the child benefit. That would be fair - each of you would be the main carer half the time.

frugallass · 21 August 2008 at 3:06PM

Hi Hicko

if you don't mind me asking, what benefits does she actually get?

Donedoingdebt · 21 August 2008 at 3:12PM

It may be better to bite the bullet here & let her keep all the benefits.
If she does contact the CSA, then you will pay 15% of your net pay, minus any allowances for overnight stays.
It doesn't seem fair when you both have equal time with your child. However, that's the system in place & if you're in full time employment, you will not beat the system.

Hicko02 · 21 August 2008 at 3:41PM

frugallass wrote: »

Hi Hicko

if you don't mind me asking, what benefits does she actually get?

I'm not actually sure but she is in FT employment on 22k a year. She has told me she gets over £400 in all. I do know that she gets child benefit. She will not let me have any of the share and as the system will only pay 1 person I get nothing. This money is to help support our child not her shopping habits and because she is getting such a good deal she doesn't want to lose the lifestyle she has.

Loopy_Girl · 21 August 2008 at 4:30PM

I'm actually inclined to agree with DDD. Half of £450 is £225.00. If you look at your monthly salary, then work out what 15% of that is (assuming you have no other children) and that is what you would pay in Child Support if she went to the CSA. Is it really worth it for the hassle and bad feeling?

Hicko02 · 21 August 2008 at 4:33PM

Yeah but even though I currently pay half of the nursery costs and everything else when he is in my care (Clothes, Food etc) I would still have to pay 15% to the CSA?

Loopy_Girl · 21 August 2008 at 4:35PM

Just had a thought...how do you know that she gets £450.00? Is that her telling you? Do you think she could be saying it to wind you up a bit?;)

I am on nowhere near 22K a year and I get quite close to that figure you quote.

Sounds like she could be claiming for childcare - which as a lone parent she will get help with 80% of the costs - and then you are giving her half. So essentially, you are in a roundabout way giving her CSA.

Loopy_Girl · 21 August 2008 at 4:38PM

Hicko02 wrote: »

Yeah but even though I currently pay half of the nursery costs and everything else when he is in my care (Clothes, Food etc) I would still have to pay 15% to the CSA?

As she classed as the main carer (they work this out by who receives the Child Benefit) then yes. Although you would get a reduction of 1/7th of the amount for every day you have him.

newlywed · 21 August 2008 at 4:46PM

We are in a similar situation. They only count nights and so because the kids only stay 3 nights with us and 4 with her, that means we get no child benefit, no child tax credits, OH has to pay CSA money and we have to feed, clothe and entertain the kids for 3 nights, 4 evenings in the week and the whole weekend.

The child benefit was given to her as they are registered at her address with the doctor and the school, and they stay with her one more night a week so they classed her as main carer.

We get no share of the benefits, and if the winter fuel payment goes to those with child benefit we will not get that either. Oh also has to pay off their joint debts as she stopped paying them. At least CSA do take some of this into account when setting the figures.

Realistically we could have them stay all night every night, not feed them at all and send them back at 7am and pick them up at 9pm again for bedtime and then we would be the ones able to claim CSA and tax credits etc - but hardly fair on the kids so not worth it.

Benefits for fathers advice

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