Agreement that under no circumstances can any family members move in to our new home

ShelleyC_2 · 13 July 2009 at 8:13PM

I don't disagree with your sentiment - I've already told my mum thats she can never live with me. Even if she were old and infirm we'd end up rowing and one of us would kill the other. I've offered to find her a nice home and visit often and briefly:rotfl:

However you're wanting a legal agreement suggests you don't trust OH to stand up to her and have to say if thats what you think now maybe you should reconsider the relationship. You should be his priority and he should stand by you without legal documents needed!

nervousftb_3 · 13 July 2009 at 8:38PM

ella_ella_ella wrote: »

Cant you just agree and then remember that you agreed

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

my sentiments exactly!

poppysarah · 13 July 2009 at 8:43PM

Waste of time unless you decide what the punishment is if either party does this. And are you sure you want to exclude any family member? (Would that exclude your own kids if you have some?)

Emmzi · 13 July 2009 at 8:44PM

who is this agreement meant to be between? you and oh - just decide. Yu and MIL - I'd gpo mental if you asked me to sign that! You and the rest of the world - good luck getting billions of signatures!

creditboy · 13 July 2009 at 8:48PM

fullofhope wrote: »

Hi,

My boyfriend and I have just purchased our first home together and would like to draw up an agreement stating that under no circumstances can any family members move in with us. We are happy for them to stay on a short holiday (max 1 week) with us if they move far away from our area, but do not want any of them trying to move in. We do not know how to word it and need help.

We want it state things like its a joint mutual decision that no family members can move in under any circumstances, no exceptions will be made, they can stay for a max of 1 week on holiday only if moved far out of the area etc.. and if anyone can suggest anything else to add or how we should word, so as not to sound nasty, but sound professional like its been drawn up by a solicitor, we would be really greatful.

We mainly want this agreement in place due to my boyfriends possesive mother (think Pauline Fowler!), who we are sure will at somepoint in the future try to emotionally blackmail us in to allowing her to move in as she will be on her own. Neither of us want this as we both want to be able to live our own lives and start maybe thinking about marriage and starting a family of our own.

We would ask our solicitor to draw up an agreement for us, but we have to save up for our deposit and are throwing every penny at that at present and don't have any spare funds to get them to do it. That's why we have decided on drawing up a mutual agreemtn for us both to sign.

If anyone can help or advise us that would be a really big help.

Thanks

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

silvercar · 13 July 2009 at 10:29PM

creditboy wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Are you the boyfriend?

g_attrill · 14 July 2009 at 1:49AM

Barneysmom wrote: »

My first thought is what a selfish couple you are.
If your mother is old and alone you wouldn't look after her? You two deserve each other, you both need to grow up.

If either of my parents become old/infirm I'd welcome them into my home without a second's thought.

I don't think this is a case of the person being old and infirm, but being at a loose end and needing people to interfere with.

My thoughts - if you mentioned this to the MiL would she question that it actually existed? If not then clearly don't bother drawing it up. If she did, and asked to see it, then that is the point at which you tell her to mind her own business.

The other point, is this for you to ensure that your partner doesn't allow her to live there? If so, then I do think you need to discuss the issues with him further, this can only be solved by talking, not contracts. Ultimately it's for him to tell her that it's your house for you to build your lives together, and that can't be done with her living there.

G_M · 14 July 2009 at 4:26AM

Clearly you fear your BF will weaken under pressure from his mum and allow her to stay a 'few days', then a week, then......
And clearly he fears this too if he's agreeing to this 'agreement'.

The Agreement is therefore something to 'help' him deny his mum access by waving it at her when she tries to stay and saying 'Look - not my fault. I'm not ALLOWED to let you stay.

If she's as strong a personality as indicated, she'll just say 'Don't be so stupid' and ignore the Agreement....and him!

This is a relationship issue not a legal one - and it's a 3-way relationship that needs dealing with.

Running_Horse · 14 July 2009 at 6:31AM

Perhaps this should be reposted in the family and relationships forum with any legal agreement not mentioned. They will give you some good advice.

inmypocketnottheirs · 14 July 2009 at 6:54AM

Nothing more from the OP?

Agreement that under no circumstances can any family members move in to our new home

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