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[MSE Lawrence]

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's “Should I have given him the money?” blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.

Read Martin's 'Should I have given him the money?' Blog.

Click reply to discuss below.

[GaryDouglas]

I would never give any cash over the door step cause i dont trust anyone, even if they flash an ID.

Thats probably a reflection of the areas i have lived in though.

[meester]

Not a penny. Ask where he lives and give them a call to verify afterwards.

[Mum_of_3]

You could give the home a call and if it's genuine up the sponsorship if you want & explain the situation about no ID etc.

If the home said he's not from there at least they are aware of a scam going on with someone using their name.

M_o_3

PS I would've given him a fiver too, but that probably comes from living in small towns/villages for most of my life & being too trusting

[SarahNeedle1872]

I wouldn't have given him anything..... I had someone knock on my door once asking for a donation to charity..... I said I was happy to give a couple of quid (meaning just that) so he asked for my bank details so they could DD it every month...... I explained that I would give a couple of quid as a one off, not as a regular thing (was on matty leave at the time) and he started to get really sh!!ty with me, telling me that I was a bad person for not giving to a deserving charity etc etc etc. I told him that I give as and when I can and that I donate all my unwanted things to the charity shops and he still wouldn't let it be..... In the end I told him that if he didn't sling it, I'd wake up my 6' 7" OH and he could continue the conversation with him... Strangely enough he didn't hang around for long!

[MARTINS DOLL]

Many years ago I had two young lads turn up at my door. They had a Barn Owl with them. They said they were trying to raise money for a breeding project. At that time I owned a Barn Owl myself, so I invited them in, and brought my Owl in to let them see him. After a little chat about their project, I gave them £5.00 towards it.
The next week his Mews were broken into (It was padlocked securely) and he was stolen. I'd had him for five years, and had never had anyone try to steal him, so I knew it was the two lads who did it. This absolutely broke my heart, as I'd reared him from a young bird, and he had to have his food cut into pieces as he couldn't swallow large bits of food. I also had to hand feed him, as he never did learn how to feed himself. I don't know wether he survived after he gone, as the lads didn't know about the hand feeding etc.

My moral of the story is... I would never trust anyone asking for money at the door again.

[Jennifer_Jane]

Am afraid I never open my door - just shout through the glass at people!
Jen
x

[Smiley_Mum]

I'm not sure what I would have done either. If he did seem to have learning difficulties himself, then I may have been swayed to give him something, but it may have been put on. I don't like to be suspicious but just due to been led up the garden path in the past. I find it quite difficult, I'm usually a bit soft and have seen myself in the past lend money and never seen it back. On one occasion, speaking to a homeless chap who I often passed in town. It was Christmas and he said he was sleeping rough so as I have been homeless myself I gave him £20 to get a bed for the night and something to eat. I have since heard a lot of stories about him as I do voluntary work and have my doubts that he was homeless at all.

[ATT]

I would have written my first name and a contact number on the sponsor sheet with a note saying 'Head master ring me so I know school's name and address to post cheque to'.

You get to give, the kid gets to have collected and the school gets the money (a con artist wouldn't ring to give you a schools name and address so your money isn't going to line some toerag's pocket) everyone wins.

[mld25]

Sounds like he was genuine, so why not give him some money? And, for £5, does it really matter if he wasn't genuine?

I'd consider it more carefully if I were giving a bigger sum, but if it's a small amount of money, which I could afford to lose, why be mean about it, and potentialy deprive a good cause?

[jamtart6]

We have had 3 charities with ID cards turning up door-to-door after 8pm this month asking for bank details for a monthly sponsorship. Being cautious, we haven't donated to them at the door (but eased our consience by donating in a different way directly to the charity). Upon further investigation, it does appear that they were genuine fundraiser from well known charities, but in this day and age, I can't imagine they would get many people giving their bank details to anyone, evenwith an ID card these days (which I emailed the charities concerned, outlining my thoughts on the matter then dontating directly!)

As for this, very difficult to say, but I think you did the right thing. I probably would have rang the school/home whilst he was there to see if it were genuine too.

[xara]

I worked for deaf childrens charity last year and it was door to door fund raising. It was probably one of the worst jobs ive ever had. Not because it paid bad or anything it was actually really good and the cause was brilliant but people were understandably very suspicious. I left after a two months because i just couldnt do it. We couldnt collect money because of fraud which meant we had to ask for direct debits which made it even worse! People who actually wanted to donate were usually elderly people who didnt have bank accounts. To top that people were constantly calling the police to check our ID's. Had to work in rain walk for miles and miles in not very pleasant areas. It was a shame because the charity did some good work. But i felt more like a sales person than a charity worker it is not an easy job at all! All i can say is that it was an experience.

[Sue-UU]

I don't think I'd have given him anything as I suspect a conner at work and we've had too many of them around our village recently. The very fact that he had no ID, to my mind, is a complete give-away as surely the home would have anticipated people asking him for that and made sure he had it at the ready.

A conner at work, I'll bet a bob!

Sue

[Bogof_Babe]

I disagree with anyone calling at private homes unless invited or for a very good reason. It is an invasion of privacy to me, not to mention an interruption. If charity collectors started doing that here, they would get very short shrift. Damn cheek.

We give to several charities of our choice by standing order (been set up since before direct debits became popular) and often drop a £1 in collection boxes in the street or shops, but I draw the line at the emotional blackmail of being pestered at home.

Can you tell I feel quite strongly about this?

[xara]

Charitys have contracts with fundraising companies because its cheaper for them. The biggest reason why there are charity workers fund raising door to door is because it costs more for them to advertise and this is cheaper(or so i was told). We were even told not to give out leaflets if we could help it as it cost the charity money and just to direct people who were interested to the website instead. Personally i would've done the same thing given a bit but not so much that id regret it! Its only because im a mug and would feel bad if i didnt and the person had been genuine.

[DocProc]

I'd have done pretty much exactly what you did. Namely, given him a few quid and a smile.

I still prefer to be an optimist and believe that about 97% or so of these kind of experiences are to do with honest folk.

That way, I calculate my loss to a scam artist would actually have been 3% of, say £5, or a mere 15p.

My wife and I were once stopped in the middle of Manchester and told a 'hard luck story' by some nice young guy about how he needed the taxi fare to go home to Altrincham and get his other set of car keys. He explained in advance that, although his house key was on the same ring as his car keys and locked in the Manchester car, he could get into his home because the cloakroom window was ajar and he would be able to climb in through that.

He wanted £10 for this. We generously gave him £20 and our business card to allow him to return the money to us.

We never heard a thing from him. We therefore knew him afterwards to be a clever scam artist.

I would guess he eventually somehow got his just deserts because 'what comes around usually goes around.'

However, as you can see, the bad experience of ithasn't spoiled my thoughts on this kind of thing.

I think the important thing is that you shouldn't become too cynical with people who appear to be down on their luck and try to adopt a policy where you give them the benefit of the doubt.

[DocProc]

After typing my piece and hitting the button on it, I re-read the whole thread once again.

If my own experience had been like the one with the pet Owl and the two boys, then I'm afraid I surely would be a '3% are honest versus 97% are crooks' type of guy instead of the other way round.

I'd just like to say I now think that the way one reacts in this type of situation, has definitely got to be about how you were brought up (taught)and also what your own personal experiences to date have been (learned for yourself).

[kezza12]

reading the posts it looks like this ....he's knocked on 17 doors 18 including my post and made 30 quid counting all the posts that probably would have given in. seems like a good return to me, the charity makes £30 in shall we say an hour (spending 5 minutes explaining the charity to those that donate and those that are suspicious, and less time to those that close the door or don't answer) or a con artist is making £30 an hour on peoples good will.(wish i was on £30 an hour) i must admit that i probably would have given him a fiver and then been anoyed with myself later and convinced myself that it wasn't a reputable charity and another charity had been ripped off as i could have given it to them!! my husband however is a door slammer and this is why i try not to go near it!!

[GARDINER]

I'm c**p at judging people - fortunately I have a nine stone fabulously gorgeous Darby dog and he answers the door with me and if he likes them then I pay up. Otherwise Darby tells them to push off in the nicest possible way. Funnily enough he didn't like the RSPCA collector - who was obviously on commission.

[emilyx78]

I think you have done the right thing in this instance,

however I dont think that any charity should be allowed to call at your door or on the phone. I think that its an invasion of your privicy.

my husband does now and I have in previous jobs donate to charities via our wages.

the choice to donate or not to donate is or should be just that a choice,
sponser forms should be presented in conjunction with a registration number, well I was given one for race for life.