O/S disasters.... let us share...

pebbles88 · 29 October 2009 at 10:18PM

Primrose wrote: »

Love this old thread which has resurfaced so if I've contributed before, forgive me for repeating some of mine over the years:

1. When newly married and unfamilar with how a pressure cooker worked, I flicked up the pressure valve immediately after cooking lentil soup for 18 minutes. The entire contents instantly emptied themselves in a hizzing stream, covering the kitchen walls and ceiling and we had to redecorate.
2. Cooking a Christmas capon with the gizzards still inside.
3. Emptying a frozen packet of Gooseberry purree into a saucepan of Minestrone soup thinking it was Chicken stock.
4. Borrowing OH's new car to collect a couple of buckets of horse manure I'd spotted in a nearby lane and foolishly putting the buckets on the back seat. Drove round a bend on the way home too quickly and ended up with two buckets of steamig poo all over the new upholstery. (Have never been forgiven for that one !!)
5. Making pepperonata with several large whole Hungarian Wax chillis from the freezer, mistakenly thinking they were small peppers.
6. Putting chestnuts to cook in the microwave and forgetting to split the skins first. (Produces something akin to a nuclear explosion).
7. Throwing a jug of water into the eye level in-built grill when some of the fat from grilling sausages caught fire. NEVER EVER PUT WATER ON A FAT FIRE.
8. Not leaving enough fermenting space in about 8 gallon jars of elderberry wine after racking off the pulp and leaving them on a light coloured kitchen worktop overnight. Came down the following morning to find they'd all blown out all the fermentation traps, overflowed onto the counter, down the cupboards and onto the floor staining everything bright purple.
9. As a new bride, putting 3 whole BULBS of garlic into a meat loaf when the recipe called for 3 CLOVES of garlic. (It was the first time I'd ever used the stuff and didn't know the difference).

I'd like to think I'm now older and wiser, but only until the next time...........

Oh, and I must tell you about a friend of mine many years ago who put her baby's soaking nappies in a plastic bucket onto her electric cooker ring to boil them because she didn't have a washing machine.! :rotfl:

oh i just decorated my keyboard with tea!! :rotfl:love the manure one!!

laurel7172 · 29 October 2009 at 11:23PM

Today I opened up my almost-never-used tumble dryer to let it fulfil its primary function-hiding the ironing when people come around.

Unfortunately, the last lot of washing I hid in there was still there-and I'd whisked it out of sight whilst still wet. Black mould...everywhere...

Ches · 29 October 2009 at 11:32PM

When first married my sister washed a lettuce in hot water.

Hardup_Hester · 30 October 2009 at 9:49AM

One Christmas MIL was visiting, my now ex wanted me to cook goose as well as turkey as his mum was always saying she prefered goose. I managed to get a goose, on Christmas eve I put the turkey in a large tray on a trivet & put some water in the tray, I find this makes the turkey more moist, I placed this in the large oven & placed the goose in the smaller one. Heeding the advice of my butcher I placed a large empty roasting tin on the shelf under the tray with the goose in, to catch any overflow grease. MIL watched me without comment. I went back to baste the birds a while later to find the kitchen floor awash with grease, I opened the door of the oven to find the empty roasting tray now full & overflowing. Now the butcher had advised me that I'd get a lot of grease off the goose, but this amount seemed excessive. Meanwhile back in the lounge MIL was confiding in her beloved son, 'I noticed that Hester has been as stupid as ever & put an empty tray under the goose, I filled it with water for her, she'll be so grateful when she realises'
She finally confessed to me what she'd done after I returned from A & E having had stitches in my head from where I'd slipped on the greasy floor & cut my head open on a cupboard door. The small oven never worked again & I had to scatter sawdust on the floor to soak up all the greasy water.

mrbrightside842 · 30 October 2009 at 10:04AM

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

One Christmas MIL was visiting, my now ex wanted me to cook goose as well as turkey as his mum was always saying she prefered goose. I managed to get a goose, on Christmas eve I put the turkey in a large tray on a trivet & put some water in the tray, I find this makes the turkey more moist, I placed this in the large oven & placed the goose in the smaller one. Heeding the advice of my butcher I placed a large empty roasting tin on the shelf under the tray with the goose in, to catch any overflow grease. MIL watched me without comment. I went back to baste the birds a while later to find the kitchen floor awash with grease, I opened the door of the oven to find the empty roasting tray now full & overflowing. Now the butcher had advised me that I'd get a lot of grease off the goose, but this amount seemed excessive. Meanwhile back in the lounge MIL was confiding in her beloved son, 'I noticed that Hester has been as stupid as ever & put an empty tray under the goose, I filled it with water for her, she'll be so grateful when she realises'
She finally confessed to me what she'd done after I returned from A & E having had stitches in my head from where I'd slipped on the greasy floor & cut my head open on a cupboard door. The small oven never worked again & I had to scatter sawdust on the floor to soak up all the greasy water.

Why did she put water in it?!

laurel7172 · 30 October 2009 at 10:28AM

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

She finally confessed to me what she'd done after I returned from A & E having had stitches in my head from where I'd slipped on the greasy floor & cut my head open on a cupboard door. The small oven never worked again & I had to scatter sawdust on the floor to soak up all the greasy water.

You mean...you went to A&E and had to clean up MIL's mess when you got back? And your OH didn't deal with it either? No wonder he's an ex...

Hardup_Hester · 30 October 2009 at 10:43AM

MIL thought that the tin should have water in it to keep the goose moist, she didn't know it was to catch any overflow of grease.

I also had to buy a new frying pan after every visit as she always insisted on scrubbing my non stick frying pan with a brillo pad, for some reason she grasped the concept of non stick saucepans, but not the frying pan.

Yes Laurel, I did have to, the reasons I left my Ex are many & varied & can be found on my blog, the link is on my profile, but please be aware that some of the subject matter is only suitable for over 18's

bargainbetty · 30 October 2009 at 2:43PM

I got up early on a Saturday, and scrubbed the bathroom. All OS - white vinegar, bicarb etc.... and good basic bleach in the loo. Lots of it. I flushed, and added a bit more around the rim. I then sat down to a well-deserved cup of tea. I heard my male flatmate get up and wander into the bathroom. A minute or two later, I heard a not-very-manly scream. Followed by another, followed by the sound of what I later found out was a 30 year old man trying to straddle a vanity unit sink in an attempt to get his privates under the cold tap.

He had sat on the pot, and apparently a certain part of his anatomy was 'resting' on the edge of the bowl (it was a 'morning' thing). It was a minute or two before his sleepy brain realised the strange tingling sensation had changed to a burning one and another few seconds before it recommended he move and seek something cool.

It's not my fault he doesn't have a sense of smell. I like a clean bathroom and that's no reason to blame me for the 10p sized chemical burn on his willy.

Oh, how I laughed.

Confuzzled · 30 October 2009 at 6:22PM

zippychick wrote: »

yes ! We have separate potato bread you see, so if we called Soda bread "potato bread" it wouldn't work at all! So we have potato scones/bread and soda bread (which you know as tatty scones)

Anyone know how to make soda bread by the way? Not tried it myself yet.

thanks for the clarification and i too would love a recipe, tatty scones are lovely but they aren't exactly the cheapest things (for what they are made of!) so i'd love to make my own too

thriftlady_2 · 20 December 2009 at 11:20AM

Back in August I bought a 1.5 litre bottle of gin in order to make damson gin for Christmas. Gin, sugar and damsons have been in a 5 litre Le Parfait jar in my garage since late August.

Yesterday morning I decided to strain it back into the original gin bottle. I also had two big jars of quince vodka to strain. There was about a tumbler full of each drink left over that wouldn't fit in the bottles. OH and I shared them and both agreed that the damson gin was delicious.

I put the filled bottles of drink on top of the fridge. Both were very cold having been in a cold garage and the kitchen was very warm.

Fast forward to about 6 pm when I was getting tea. Suddenly a loud crack was heard, looking round I saw that the bottle of gin had exploded:eek:

One and a half litres of sticky purple liquid had spread itself all over the fridge, down the back of it, over the speaker of my music system, over some cds, over the papers in the basket stuck on the side of the fridge. Oh, and there were shards of glass everywhere too.:mad::rolleyes: *@!&*!! £*$@!?!!:rolleyes::mad:

My wonderful OH cleaned it all up (I was in the middle of making gingered pork balls and Strictly was about to start!). But what a dreadful waste, I was so looking forward to drinking that damson gin over the next few [STRIKE]hours[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]days[/STRIKE] weeks. We still have the quince vodka but I just can't believe that all that damson gin has just gone- I might as well have poured it down the sink.

PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

O/S disasters.... let us share...

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free