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Outraged wedding guest - am I wrong to be offended?
Comments
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debtdesperado wrote: »Interesting - but has anyone ever gone to a wedding without buying a gift (and I'm not talking about a situation where someone says we don't want a gift) but the sort of situation where the extensive john lewis wedding list is included with the invite?
I have done this where I've only been invited to the evening reception, I've always taken a card and taken time to consider the message I've written, but the wedding list wasn't included with my invite and I didn't ask if there was one. I've always taken a gift when I've been invited to the whole day, I've only ever once not had a thank you at all, and that really narked me!0 -
"Also, in lieu of receiving our thank you cards, we would like to thank everyone for the lovely cards and gifts that people bought for us - we had a lot of fun opening everything and much appreciate everyone's generosity and kindness and best wishes for our married life together."
Thats the key statement for me - i don't think your friend means "in lieu of" (meaning "instead of") ....i think she is awaiting delivery of some thank you cards.... so i reckon that if it was rephrased as
"Also, as we have not yet received our "thank you" cards which we will send out shortly, we would like to thank everyone for the lovely cards and gifts that people bought for us"
Thats what i THINK she meant...otherwise why mention Receiving thank you cards?? Obviously the bride just hasn't got her thank you cards yet and as she doesnt want snotty people to get all arsey cos they havent received their special cards thanking them for honouring the bride and groom with their wonderful presence at the wedding, she thought she'd pre-empt the moaning and sniping by sending out a little note via email.
Waste of time on her part, it would appear! :rolleyes:Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
bigmomma051204 wrote: »"Also, in lieu of receiving our thank you cards, we would like to thank everyone for the lovely cards and gifts that people bought for us - we had a lot of fun opening everything and much appreciate everyone's generosity and kindness and best wishes for our married life together."
Thats the key statement for me - i don't think your friend means "in lieu of" (meaning "instead of") ....i think she is awaiting delivery of some thank you cards.... so i reckon that if it was rephrased as
"Also, as we have not yet received our "thank you" cards which we will send out shortly, we would like to thank everyone for the lovely cards and gifts that people bought for us"
Thats what i THINK she meant...otherwise why mention Receiving thank you cards?? Obviously the bride just hasn't got her thank you cards yet and as she doesnt want snotty people to get all arsey cos they havent received their special cards thanking them for honouring the bride and groom with their wonderful presence at the wedding, she thought she'd pre-empt the moaning and sniping by sending out a little note via email.
Waste of time on her part, it would appear! :rolleyes:
That's exactly how I read it too!
Basically, while they are waiting to receive their thank you cards, they are sending that email to tide everyone over.Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
I would definately feel peeved! We didn't have any guests at our wedding who came without a gift so can't answer about sending thank you's to those who attended without a gift. We had a 2 week honeymoon after the wedding and I took the week after we got back off as well so I could do the thank you's. We had less than 60 people at the wedding so I did very personalised cards and enclosed a photo of the guests themselves in each card.
I think the only time I woul go to a wedding without a gift is if I were just going to an evening do and didn't know b & g that well, although even then I would probably give a £10 voucher. Dh has just read this and reminded me we did have 2 guests without gifts-his brother and his father! Have to confess to not doing them thank you's though, mainly his brother because he didn't rsvp and just arrived 10 mins before ceremony with his wife! Talk about throw seating plans and layout not to mention kitchen into array by doing that!:mad:0 -
For me, it just wouldn't be possible to send out thank you cards to everyone, even if I didn't mind about the extra cost. There are less than a handful of people coming from our area, everyone else is coming from Leicester and Southampton. We both have massive families and I am going to struggle with the invited for a start because I have no idea what everyone's addresses are!
I'll probably send a batch of invites to one of my family who sees everyone else so they can pass them on, and DF will do the same. Short of asking everyone to write their addresses down at the wedding, the only way we could send a thnak you is via email or over the phone.Best Moneysaver...Starting my own Business!
Award winning cake artist
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I'd be annoyed if they wrote to my dad, as he is dead, and if they wrote to my mum I'd be annoyed cos I am paying for the whole bleeding thing
Wouldn't someone write to the person who invited them; for a traditional wedding, the bride's parents but the couple if they themselves were the hosts?0 -
I've already told OH that when we open gifts and cards, we must have a list of who has given what, so we can say thank you for X on the thank you cards.
Even if people don't give anything, they will still get a card thanking them for sharing our day.Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
So the bride and groom couldn't even be bothered to write an individual email to each of the guests they wish to thank ? Says it all really, pair of cheapskate ingrates.
(My interpreation is that the email is in lieu - instead of - the receipients receiving a thank you card).................
....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)0 -
So the bride and groom couldn't even be bothered to write an individual email to each of the guests they wish to thank ? Says it all really, pair of cheapskate ingrates.
(My interpreation is that the email is in lieu - instead of - the receipients receiving a thank you card)
I agree; why assume that the expression "in lieu of" was used incorrectly?0
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