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Friends Ex Refusing To Pay His Half - Repossession Fear
Comments
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I don't feel slighted. I think that your friend needs hard facts, and legal advice and help from shelter now. I think that hard facts are what will help your friend try to get out of the hole that she is in. Several years of working in mortgage collections and several years doing what I do now tell me that your friend need firm practical advice.I am a Mortgage Adviser
You should note that this site doesn't check my status as a Mortgage Adviser, so you need to take my word for it. This signature is here as I follow MSE's Mortgage Adviser Code of Conduct. Any posts on here are for information and discussion purposes only and shouldn't be seen as financial advice.0 -
I disagree for the fact I have seen the solicitors letters and suggestions made and researched the legality of them thoroughly. One suggestion is tantamount to fraud and was dropped quickly once that was pointed out. The solicitors also made statement inferring that they were acting on behalf of the lender when they are not. Fraudulent misrepresentation I believe that is called - or "bullying" - your choice. They are hardly reputable. Perhaps I should have stated it clearly but the move out or sell option is but one suggestion made and probably the only really legally valid one.I've just re read the opening post. I disagree with the advice given to him being half baked.
Not so but thank you for the concern, genuinely. She is fine and just frustrated that he being so childish over such a serious issue. If he wants out of the house he can be BUT he must tell someone this. They can not just take her word for it and she can not do everything for him. He has to be a man about it at some point and face up to it..I believe there is a touch of wounded pride on her part and has dug her heals into a situation she cannot cope with.
Six months arrears will take that amount to clear. It isnt going to impact on her too badly - shes young yet. In the current climate a credit rating isnt worth that much right now anyway is it ?I believe she must look long term at the prospect of having this large debt to pay and if repossession happens a ruined credit rating for years to come.
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My friend is taking in hard facts like breathing air right now. The one overriding hard fact is that her ex will not respond to anyone now and there is question of how to proceed under those circumstances - which has yet to be addressed in any responses. Your experience has clearly failed you in that regard.Mrs_Bumble wrote: »I don't feel slighted. I think that your friend needs hard facts, and legal advice and help from shelter now. I think that hard facts are what will help your friend try to get out of the hole that she is in. Several years of working in mortgage collections and several years doing what I do now tell me that your friend need firm practical advice.0 -
I do think that you are quite rude really.
My first and second post referred your friend to legal advice, either free with community legal advice and help in relation to the arrears and her position with the lender with Shelter.
Sounds like they both need mediation to sort their own attitude out with each other because sounds a bit like 6 and two threes.
I hope your friend does sort the mess out but it will only be with direct action and hard facts. He says, she says will just get them both further in the mire.I am a Mortgage Adviser
You should note that this site doesn't check my status as a Mortgage Adviser, so you need to take my word for it. This signature is here as I follow MSE's Mortgage Adviser Code of Conduct. Any posts on here are for information and discussion purposes only and shouldn't be seen as financial advice.0 -
We dont know yet if her wages are too low we just assume that they may be as it was a joint mortgage. Thats given her something to think about and discuss with them.Thriftysaver wrote: »I know when my friend got divorced 10 years ago, her wages were too low for the mortgage company to allow her ex to come off it. She was lucky he paid for a couple of years. However over that time with the decrease of capital and increase in wage over those years he finally came off the mortgage and into her name only.
Thats encouraging information despite the length of time and is something she would like to happen eventually.Thriftysaver wrote: »Another friend had a similar situation to your friend about 15 years ago. He was playing silly !!!!!!s and she got into arrears. Luckily her family helped her out and she continued paying the mortgage proving she solely maintained the account. This secured proof for solicitors to obtain court to direct mortgage company to take his name off. This took about 4 or 5 years unfortunately.0 -
Twinkly, here's a serious question:
Is this post a real situation, or is it something you've dreamt up to amuse yourself?
*I think it's the former, but some of your responses seem to be a little obtuse - that may be because you're not directly involved in such a difficult situation.
Your friend needs to get sound professional advice VERY SOON. Take it offline and get it dealt with out in the real world.
If she handles this badly she could be well in to her 30s before home ownership via a mortgage becomes an option again.
That's really is extraordinary. How much clearer than a range of legal advice suggestions can you get? Are you waiting for somebody to suggest "send the boys round with baseball bats to sort him out"?My friend is taking in hard facts like breathing air right now. The one overriding hard fact is that her ex will not respond to anyone now and there is question of how to proceed under those circumstances - which has yet to be addressed in any responses. Your experience has clearly failed you in that regard.
My suggestions were based on two decades of selling mortgages, underwriting mortgages, supervising the sellers of mortgages, agreeing payment arrangments and recommending repossession (or otherwise).0 -
I am responding to an entire days worth of posts as quickly and as relevantly as I can. You are free to be offended at anything that has not been implicitly stated if you wish. I have not been rude. Intentionally.Mrs_Bumble wrote: »I do think that you are quite rude really.
At the risk of repeating myself I did ask for others experiences if similair. I am sorry you feel that I did not respond to you appropriately.Mrs_Bumble wrote: »My first and second post referred your friend to legal advice, either free with community legal advice and help in relation to the arrears and her position with the lender with Shelter.
I have absolutely no idea where you got the he says she says scenario from but it is not relevant to this case. She has behaved impeccably throughout and the one fault - if you must find a fault - the non-payment of "his half" occurred through circumstance and as a result of his childish and erratic behaviour.Mrs_Bumble wrote: »Sounds like they both need mediation to sort their own attitude out with each other because sounds a bit like 6 and two threes.
I hope your friend does sort the mess out but it will only be with direct action and hard facts. He says, she says will just get them both further in the mire.0 -
opinions4u wrote: »Twinkly, here's a serious question:
Is this post a real situation, or is it something you've dreamt up to amuse yourself?
Was that a serious question or are you just posting to amuse yourself ?
I think its the latter.
If my responses appear obtuse I repeat: I am responding to an entire days worth of posts as quickly and as relevantly as I can. You are free to be offended at anything that has not been implicitly stated if you wish. I have not been rude/*obtuse. Intentionally.opinions4u wrote: »*I think it's the former, but some of your responses seem to be a little obtuse - that may be because you're not directly involved in such a difficult situation.
*edited for you personally.
She does not need professional advice just yet. It is for the most part being dealt with offline. Did you honestly think this was the only place I would look or go for help and advice ? Or that you would be the only person able to provide it ? Your comment implies as much.opinions4u wrote: »Your friend needs to get sound professional advice VERY SOON. Take it offline and get it dealt with out in the real world.
Do take a look at how many complaints are made to the Ombudsman regarding mortgages and repossessions. She could handle this impeccably and still lose her home due to someone else's incompetence. Such snap judgement from you is unwelcome and unhelpful.opinions4u wrote: »If she handles this badly she could be well in to her 30s before home ownership via a mortgage becomes an option again.
Your statement regarding repossession was flawed. I dont know what you want me to say about but it was. Insulting me will not change that.opinions4u wrote: »That's really is extraordinary. How much clearer than a range of legal advice suggestions can you get? Are you waiting for somebody to suggest "send the boys round with baseball bats to sort him out"?
My suggestions were based on two decades of selling mortgages, underwriting mortgages, supervising the sellers of mortgages, agreeing payment arrangments and recommending repossession (or otherwise).0 -
She does not need professional advice just yet.
We have a Troll.0 -
Mrs_Bumble wrote: »She can afford to take on the mortgage.
Then why hasn't she? If she could afford the whole payment and she hasn't then she has been playing the spiteful game as well and what this has ultimately done is ruin her chances of obtaining a mortgage because she has messed up her credit file.
Whether the ex wants to speak to the lender or not, your friend and her ex are in theory grown ups and should sit down and discuss this and what they both want as the most suitable outcome. Regardless of how they feel about each other!
I asked previously:
Does your friend have an income, if so do you know how much?
What is the current property value, www.zoopla.co.uk can give an indication
What is the current mortgage
Who is the current lender
What is the current mortgage balance
is the current mortgage on repayment basis
What are the current arrears?
Are there any other credit commitments?
Is she in a position to rent a room?
Is the biological father paying maintenance?
With the answer to those questions I would have been able to tell you realistically whether your friend had any options available to her.
I have struggled all night to answer as much as possible and have completely overlooked this post. I apologise and realise now why you assume me rude. I did not intentionally ignore this.
Only to add thank you for the detail you were willing to go into to help her but it is not my place to give that information - as I believe I have already explained.0
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