3 days to completion and having regrets; is this normal?

Nenen · 27 March 2007 at 12:04AM

Well, we exchanged contracts (several weeks ago) and complete the sale of our house on Thursday. We are moving into a rented property (interim measure while we find something else we like/can afford to buy in the new area). I'm sitting among the chaos of half packed boxes in bits!

I keep thinking we're doing the wrong thing and panicking.

We've lived here for 16 years and our three children grew up in this house. We love some aspects of the rural area but it is so far away from my job, I hate the journey and it makes sense to move nearer to civilisation! I can't say it is our 'dream house' (ordinary 3 bed semi) but it has been home for longer than I've ever lived anywhere in my life before (my parents moved around constantly). Despite the fact that it was my idea to move and dh took some persuading I can't stop crying and feel so emotional. As I'm packing I keep finding things that are sentimental and that just makes me cry more! We first put the house on the market last April and have had two sales fall though during this time so I'm finding it hard to really believe it is happening this time. My dh thinks this overwhelming sadness is a reaction to the stress of the last year?

I'm also worried we'll never find anything we like and can afford (the area we are moving to is much more expensive).

I feel so bad I keep thinking I should ring our solicitor and ask how much it would cost us to stop completion.... would be financial madness I know and VERY unfair to our buyers. In my better moments I am fairly sure that once we actually move I'll be fine! Has anyone else ever felt like this prior to moving?

Doozergirl · 27 March 2007 at 12:12AM

I'm sure it's normal. I feel very sad at two of the homes I've sold and would like to go and kick the buyers out!

It isn't a house that carries memories, it's you! Once you've moved and you find that day to day life is easier than you'll soon realise that things are better. You can also take the most sentimental stuff with you. I have a special box that I've kept since I was a little girl that has the things I most want to keep. It gets filtered and sorted as it fills so I only carry my most treasured things but it really is a documentary of my life in a box

I bet you have photos that remind you of the good times in your house more than going to your bedroom every night does! Just keep them close for a while and be happy that you are moving on to new experiences together.

Really, those bricks and mortar will forget you as soon as you leave.

Onwards and upwards!

Nenen · 27 March 2007 at 12:24AM

Thank you so much Doozergirl for such a swift and helpful reply:T :T ... my brain knows you are right... now I just need my heart to catch up! I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment but you're right I'm taking my memories and precious mementos with me... trouble is I've got umpteen boxes of them! I really have GOT to declutter!

Doozergirl · 27 March 2007 at 12:33AM

You can declutter when you get to the other side too if it's too hard for you now.

It will take a little more time to unpack and you might have a room out of action for a while but if it leaves you less upset and allows you proper time to reflect, then do it.

I'm a declutter freak by nature but I can clearly remember when I had to empty my mum's house

It was just easier to gradually lose some stuff along the way than throw it away.

You're going to be creating new memories too

Poppycat · 27 March 2007 at 1:05AM

We lived in our first home for 17 years, and whilst we raised two girls and happy memories of my babies, this year it was time to move on. Sure I had regrets right up to the last minute, but I thought, its time for a new start, new area (well its only 10 minutes up the road from where we lived) etc.

From moving from a very busy street to a street that hardly any traffic at all, is bliss for us.

I had some regrets moving in though first few nights wasnt sue to it being quiet, sure I heard a mouse, leaking bay window roof, but after all that I dont regret it. We loved our first house but we had to look at the future, we had outgrown it, kids want there own room, I am sure you have very valid reasons to move, travelling x amount per day isnt my idea of fun for a start

fbrj · 27 March 2007 at 1:28AM

Nenen wrote: »

Well, we exchanged contracts (several weeks ago) and complete the sale of our house on Thursday. We are moving into a rented property (interim measure while we find something else we like/can afford to buy in the new area). I'm sitting among the chaos of half packed boxes in bits! I keep thinking we're doing the wrong thing and panicking.

We've lived here for 16 years and our three children grew up in this house. We love some aspects of the rural area but it is so far away from my job, I hate the journey and it makes sense to move nearer to civilisation! I can't say it is our 'dream house' (ordinary 3 bed semi) but it has been home for longer than I've ever lived anywhere in my life before (my parents moved around constantly). Despite the fact that it was my idea to move and dh took some persuading I can't stop crying and feel so emotional. As I'm packing I keep finding things that are sentimental and that just makes me cry more! We first put the house on the market last April and have had two sales fall though during this time so I'm finding it hard to really believe it is happening this time. My dh thinks this overwhelming sadness is a reaction to the stress of the last year?

I'm also worried we'll never find anything we like and can afford (the area we are moving to is much more expensive).

I feel so bad I keep thinking I should ring our solicitor and ask how much it would cost us to stop completion.... would be financial madness I know and VERY unfair to our buyers. In my better moments I am fairly sure that once we actually move I'll be fine! Has anyone else ever felt like this prior to moving?

Well if it's any consolation we are in very similar circumstances...we exchanged in December and complete this Friday - having lived in the same house for 17 years, where our 2 daughters mostly grew up - so as you say lots of memories! We have just been through 5 days of being packed up, with a split move....2/3rds into store...1/3 into a rental property - which is where we are now...surrounded by boxes, many as yet unpacked and everything looks full already! We too are looking to buy and have already made an offer elsewhere but completion can be delayed until late summer, at the vendors option (we have to pay a minimum of 6 months rent anyway)....exchange is a few weeks away at best. We are significantly downsizing..which makes it all the harder to trawl through and get rid of 30 years+ of accumulated stuff....most of which has been sitting untouched in the loft for at least 10 years!

What I keep telling myself is that matters will change anyway shortly (one daughter already at uni - the other soon)...even if we had stayed on; we decided to bite the bullet a year or 2 early!! Good luck

csarina · 27 March 2007 at 2:07AM

You are not alone. We are right now waiting to move, we had hoped that our move in 2004 into a house owned by my Step son would be our last, but it is not to be, next week we move out of what has become a nightmare of a house into an apartment. We have had to drastically downsize and I have had to part with many things which we worked long and hard to afford. I bitterly regret selling our house we had built in Scotland....we could not afford to buy it back now anyway..........but we both loved that little house so much.............it held such happy memories for us..........

Nenen · 27 March 2007 at 2:23AM

Thank you so much for all the words of support and encouragement... it really helps to feel I'm not the only one! I just need to stay as calm as poss and focus on packing... Doozergirl your idea of decluttering the other end might well be the best solution.... at the moment I feel as if we are never even going to get packed up! We have so far filled a bedford van full of rubbish to dump as well as another van full of stuff to go into storage... just feels like a drop in the ocean!

Csarina your situation sounds ghastly I do hope everything works out well for you.
Fbrj... our eldest 2 are at uni and youngest son has got 1.5 years more to go so I know life will change soon for us too.

Poppycat I can still remember our first night in this house I couldn't sleep as I kept hearing water noises above me... made my dh go up and check the loft at 3 a.m. :eek: It was just the different pipe noises!
Thanks again everyone... :beer: now I just need to remember to keep breathing!

spunkeyrich · 27 March 2007 at 9:35AM

sometimes there is so much stress in the moving process, especially as you have had 2 buyers that let you down and you have taken about a year to finalise the deal, that you now have the time to think about the move without the stress, go back to the time you first thought of moving and the reasons you wanted to, seems like a long time ago, but your reasons were correct at the time. Try and stop thoughts of cancelling and look possitive as it could be very expensive with breach of contract etc.

In a years time you will hopefully look back and wonder what you were worrying about :-)

rich

Montymoo_2 · 27 March 2007 at 11:08AM

We are buying our first home together and neither of us wants to leave our rented house :rolleyes:

I think its because it was our first home together plus its so much bigger than what we could afford to buy but we have to get on the property ladder at some point

Tiger_greeneyes · 27 March 2007 at 11:38AM

The way you're feeling is entirely normal! It's a bereavement of sorts - you're losing something forever. That's not to say you're not going to find something great to replace it - because you will! You'll find your dream home and you'll be like a teenager in love again

You know when you find the right place, you practically break into a run while you're looking around, and you can't wipe the silly grin off your face!

Or is it just me?

I love that feeling - it's way too addictive!!!

3 days to completion and having regrets; is this normal?

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