Made a mess of things

MissB2017

Removed for privacy of employer

xapprenticex

To be honest, you dont sound well enough to hold a full time job, you seem very focused on finding another job but not much mention of dealing with your mental health issues. Your health is more important.

motorguy

MissB2017 wrote: »

I am seeking help from people who've been in similar situations and what should I expect from references and moving forward and ways I can help myself.

You need help with your mental health issues. You sound like at very least you're suffering from stress and most likely depression. You need to get this attended to immediately.

Showing your employer you are taking steps to deal with your mental health issues will greatly increase your chances of keeping your job.

But you need to get help with your mental health. Make an appointment with your doctor urgently.

MissB2017

I am currently on anti-depressants and going through self help and CBT for my mental health.

If I could afford to go part time I would, to help myself further, but I couldn't afford to live on benefits. My rent would be £125 more a month that I'd get under LHA before I pay any other bills. I have no savings to fall back on.

Plus I think I'd fall deeper into trouble if I were to stay at home.

motorguy

MissB2017 wrote: »

I am currently on anti-depressants and going through self help and CBT for my mental health.

If I could afford to go part time I would, to help myself further, but I couldn't afford to live on benefits. My rent would be £125 more a month that I'd get under LHA before I pay any other bills. I have no savings to fall back on.

Plus I think I'd fall deeper into trouble if I were to stay at home.

You need to talk to your doctor as to why your anti-depressants arent working (because they're not)

Do you take any alcohol at all? It completely stops antipressants from working (it took me several years to work that out)

sangie595

Is "exaggeration" a euphemism for "outright lie", or not? It's hard to advise you without knowing. And how did this come out? Did you confess, or did they find out first? How long have you worked there?

There's plenty of good advice here already about the mental health side of it (although I might add, you need to look after number one here, and getting into this situation to help out a family member was most unwise - don't put other people in front of you until you are fully able to cope), but advising you on the disciplinary side of it is difficult without knowing what exactly you have done.

MissB2017

Removed for privacy of employer

IAmWales

Can you access some support until you can see your GP? Either your local out of hours/ crisis service or the Samaritans? Their number is 116123.

Your employer could dismiss you for your lie, but that's not to say that they will. Admitting your lie will go in your favour, but doesn't change what you did in the first place.

Is this sort of action part of your condition? Some with personality disorders can have a tendency to elaborate stories to the point that they are untrue. If so, and if you could show that you're seeking help, again that would go in your favour.

Please try to eat something, you will feel better for it.

Fireflyaway

Your priority must be your health. Go back to your GP and take time off if you need to.
I suppose what happens at work will depend on your employer but don't try and second guess. Go to the meeting then decide on your course of action. I think its good you found the strength to admit your mistake. Takes a strong person with a sense of responsibility to do what you did. I know many people would carry on the pretense or run away from it but you didn't. You were strong and that took courage.
Importantly remember things will improve. These feelings will get better and there is help out there. Once you are feeling better and in a job you enjoy life will seem so much brighter.
There might be a floating support service where you live. They can help you with housing issues, advise on benefits and budgeting and put you in contact with support services.

MissB2017

I think I just acted out of panic, desperation and a depression induced fog. I am wondering if it something more complex and I need a diagnosis.

If I take time off I am then risking getting dismissed for ill health so although I do need to get better I need to consider my options. I have decided that I need a new job, maybe something completely different to help myself and only 30ish hours a week.

I haven't been happy there for about 6 months, I think it just all came to a head.

sangie595

It certainly counts in your favour that you admitted it, although that may not be enough to save your job. Can you get a medical statement from your doctor to explain your state of mind? Would there be any benefit from cutting back your hours in your existing job - would that make a difference to how you feel? Because throwing away two years is a lot to throw away. Assuming the employer isn't going to dismiss. Given the circumstances, many probably wouldn't, although you'd get a final warning certainly. You might even be able to get just a temporary cut back in hours, so you can decide later whether to go back full time.

On the other hand, if you are absolutely positive beyond any doubt that you don't want to continue to work there, your union may be able to negotiate a resignation for a neutral reference - neither good nor bad. But be certain. If you are just embarrassed about going back into the workplace, get over it - people screw up and do stupid things, and there will be something else to talk about next week. You don't walk away from a job without a fight because you are to ashamed to face up to what you did, because another job may be hard to get. Yes, you could be sacked for what you did - but you also may not be, and at least you had the courage to own up. Very few people would have that courage.

And I'm going to repeat myself. You need to look after yourself. I'm sorry if other people are struggling. But you are struggling. You need your energy to look after yourself. You cannot take responsibility for the rest of the world.