Not turning up to work again.....?

firsttimetom

I'm giving genuine thought to simply not turning up to work ever again.

I am sick of the place, I'm in a typical middle management role where I have all sorts of demands from above and all sorts of demands from below and they very often don't align.

I don't want to post a massive post detailing how I've ended up in this stage but I'm now at the point where I can barely sleep, I have a continual headache, I have developed IBS and nausea and I swear I can sometimes feel my heart working overtime as my blood boils. My personality has changed I feel I would probably qualify for antidepressants, I have no motivation and I think my girlfriend is becoming increasingly upset with my requests for her to shoot me or end my life somehow.

I used to enjoy my job and feel that I am clinging onto it because of this. I don't really want an awkward 6 week notice period and do wonder what would happen if I just left my keys and changed my phone number.

Can anyone offer any advise on what I should do as I am desperately sad right now. It is really not in my nature to even consider wanting to walk out of a job, as I realise it would leave my employer in the lurch, be unfair on my colleagues and burn a lot of bridges. But I also know that things must be bad for me to be considering it.

My girlfriend is also an employee at the company which obviously complicates things, especially if I announce one morning I'm just not going in. She does know how I feel and doesn't feel dissimilar but I do hide a lot of my day to day woes from her so she doesn't realise how bad things have become for me.

What else can I do? I am worried that if (when) the final straw comes along I may just walk out on the spot.

Thank you.

xapprenticex

it may be difficult getting a reference if you walk out. Just start looking for a job elsewhere, consider taking a lesser position where you are given a task to do, you do it then go home.

After a while you may want to go back to management. As long as you are seriously looking, the light at the end of the tunnel should keep you going.

End of the day, your health comes first. No point dying early or being in misery over a job.

karcher

firsttimetom wrote: »

I'm giving genuine thought to simply not turning up to work ever again.

I am sick of the place, I'm in a typical middle management role where I have all sorts of demands from above and all sorts of demands from below and they very often don't align.

I don't want to post a massive post detailing how I've ended up in this stage but I'm now at the point where I can barely sleep, I have a continual headache, I have developed IBS and nausea and I swear I can sometimes feel my heart working overtime as my blood boils. My personality has changed I feel I would probably qualify for antidepressants, I have no motivation and I think my girlfriend is becoming increasingly upset with my requests for her to shoot me or end my life somehow.

I used to enjoy my job and feel that I am clinging onto it because of this. I don't really want an awkward 6 week notice period and do wonder what would happen if I just left my keys and changed my phone number.

Can anyone offer any advise on what I should do as I am desperately sad right now. It is really not in my nature to even consider wanting to walk out of a job, as I realise it would leave my employer in the lurch, be unfair on my colleagues and burn a lot of bridges. But I also know that things must be bad for me to be considering it.

My girlfriend is also an employee at the company which obviously complicates things, especially if I announce one morning I'm just not going in. She does know how I feel and doesn't feel dissimilar but I do hide a lot of my day to day woes from her so she doesn't realise how bad things have become for me.

What else can I do? I am worried that if (when) the final straw comes along I may just walk out on the spot.

Thank you.

I can't advise on the legalities, but imho your health and state of mind are paramount.

See your Doctor and if they feel it necessary they can sign you off work and prescribe anti-depressants if appropriate.

You will then still be paid or entitled to Statutory Sick Pay.

Do not burn all your bridges...trust me I completely empathise with your position but much better to call in sick tomorrow, see your GP, then take it from there.

All the best OP

Masomnia

Stating the obvious, but you need to find a new job.

Aside from the reasons you've given walking out puts you at risk of a legal claim (however small). And if you turn out being unemployed for a long period I don't see that you'll be in all that much better a position.

Suggest you focus your energy on finding a new job and hopefully that in itself will help you feel better as you're making a positive step and doing something about your problems.

Good luck.

offtheradar

You need to start job hunting as it will be much easier to find something else whilst working. It will be hard, but not impossible, to find something if you do decide to not go back, but it will limit your choices.

Maybe you need to have a really good think about what you want to do rather than focus on the negatives your currently experiencing. I'm currently working my notice due to being in a similar position to yourself. The turning point for myself to finally make the decision to leave was simply to name what I liked about my job, colleagues, workload, etc, and more negatives than positives were highlighted.

At the end of the day, your spending a significant amount of time not enjoying life and life is far too short to stay in that place for any significant amount of time before it starts affecting other aspects of your life.

All I can say is follow your gut instinct, make a decision and stick to it. You may find your employers want to assist and help you to stay by improving matters. You also need to consider that they make accept your notice so you need to be resolute in your decision making.

Good luck.

jobbingmusician

Yes, get yourself signed off, and use the period to job hunt. If you take the firm resolution to get yourself a job you enjoy more, you will be able to bear a few more weeks between the end of sick leave and the start of your new job.

sangie595

Absolutely do not walk out. See your doctor. That's the first port of call. Resigning is not a solution, but a new set of problems. If you want those problems, fine - but put them off for a while. Why rush. You may find that things are not so bad with a bit of perspective. After all, if you went off sick, are they going to get any worse? No? Then don't rush in where angels fear to tread.

gonebust

Please please please don't walk

Ring your GP and get an appointment for Monday or even an emergency and walk in and tell him what you have told here

Do not whatever you do resign or just not turn in. Your GP will possibly sign you off or say take a few days off self cert. If it's self cert, then book in again before that runs out and discuss if the situation in your mind has changed.

Do tell your GP exactly how you are feeling. Don't be ashamed, don't think anything of it then asking for the help you need to get better

If things are too much ATM then the Samaritans are there 24/7. You don't have to be suicidel to call, there's no problems too small that they won't listen too

Get to see your GP ASAP That will if nothing else give you breathing space

Take care and good luck

Takeaway_Addict

firsttimetom wrote: »

I'm giving genuine thought to simply not turning up to work ever again.

I am sick of the place, I'm in a typical middle management role where I have all sorts of demands from above and all sorts of demands from below and they very often don't align.

I don't want to post a massive post detailing how I've ended up in this stage but I'm now at the point where I can barely sleep, I have a continual headache, I have developed IBS and nausea and I swear I can sometimes feel my heart working overtime as my blood boils. My personality has changed I feel I would probably qualify for antidepressants, I have no motivation and I think my girlfriend is becoming increasingly upset with my requests for her to shoot me or end my life somehow.

I used to enjoy my job and feel that I am clinging onto it because of this. I don't really want an awkward 6 week notice period and do wonder what would happen if I just left my keys and changed my phone number.

Can anyone offer any advise on what I should do as I am desperately sad right now. It is really not in my nature to even consider wanting to walk out of a job, as I realise it would leave my employer in the lurch, be unfair on my colleagues and burn a lot of bridges. But I also know that things must be bad for me to be considering it.

My girlfriend is also an employee at the company which obviously complicates things, especially if I announce one morning I'm just not going in. She does know how I feel and doesn't feel dissimilar but I do hide a lot of my day to day woes from her so she doesn't realise how bad things have become for me.

What else can I do? I am worried that if (when) the final straw comes along I may just walk out on the spot.

Thank you.

As has been said...go to the dr because if you read what you've put with a clear mind you'll shock yourself. Don't make any decisions until you have had a chance to rest mentally.

andygb

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Yes, get yourself signed off, and use the period to job hunt. If you take the firm resolution to get yourself a job you enjoy more, you will be able to bear a few more weeks between the end of sick leave and the start of your new job.

I would second this advice, because it will give the OP time to clear their mind, whilst they look around for other opportunities.
Really make good use of the time, because if you find another job, your notice period will go very quickly.
Good luck.

Slinky

I'm all for checking things out with your doctor, but have you actually spoken to your boss about these conflicting pressures? I had something very similar happen to me, I blew up in the end and walked out. I phoned my old manager who still worked in the group and told her what I'd done. She emphasised to me to go and have a meeting with my boss and explained the way I FEEL. That every darned problem from above and below was landing in my lap. Management cannot argue with the way a situation makes you FEEL, even if they don't necessarily agree with your perception.

You say you used to love the job, don't just walk away from it without seeing if something can be done to fix it first.

Good luck.

We managed to sort things out and I carried on working there for another couple of years before partner's job took me away from the area.