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  • FIRST POST
    • mandi80
    • By mandi80 13th May 18, 10:56 AM
    • 15Posts
    • 4Thanks
    mandi80
    Should I be more worried?
    • #1
    • 13th May 18, 10:56 AM
    Should I be more worried? 13th May 18 at 10:56 AM
    Hi,

    Since posting here for the first time a couple of months ago, I have found this forum to be a huge support, however I do wonder if my attitude towards my situation is problematic.

    I see people posting on here with far less debt that me and they are worried, stressed, not sleeping etc. Despite owing in excess of 60K, I just don't feel worried about it to anywhere near this degree.

    Don't get me wrong, I am committed to getting rid of the debt and having a plan in place is certainly a reassurance, but in terms of feeling stressed, or having sleepless nights.... no, I am afraid not!

    I am certainly not bragging... in fact the only thing I am worried about it my lack of worry!!!!!

    My husband is slightly more worried than I am, but he is more of a worrier in general. I just feel like we have a plan in place so it;ll all eventually be ok!

    Do I need to change my attitude?
Page 1
    • elsien
    • By elsien 13th May 18, 11:08 AM
    • 17,123 Posts
    • 43,154 Thanks
    elsien
    • #2
    • 13th May 18, 11:08 AM
    • #2
    • 13th May 18, 11:08 AM
    As long as you have a sensible plan you're both committed to, that's the important bit. If you've got a secure job (for example) then it is likely to be less stressful than for someone whose employment is more at risk.
    The only concern would be if things started to slide and you found yourself spending a bit more on things not in the budget. Or you didn't have an emergency fund and the unexpected happened.
    Good luck with your plan moving forwards.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 13th May 18, 12:29 PM
    • 15,242 Posts
    • 14,340 Thanks
    sourcrates
    • #3
    • 13th May 18, 12:29 PM
    • #3
    • 13th May 18, 12:29 PM
    No, your attitude is just fine, in fact I wish more people would approach there debt problems in such a practical way.

    I think with a lot of people its a fear of the unknown, most have never missed payments before, and they simply do not know what to expect, they see a bailiff on the telly, and that's it, imagination goes into overdrive.

    I, much like yourself, was not worried to that extent either, I try to be practical and research things I know little about, and so that`s what I did.

    I`d get frantic calls from debt collectors, who talked so fast, and so loud, and were so rude, i swear they were on something, i just calmly asked them to put everything in writing and hung up.

    There is always a solution to a debt problem, be it a DMP, DRO, IVA, or Bankruptcy, and once you know that, then what is there to fear ?
    Last edited by sourcrates; 13-05-2018 at 12:33 PM.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
    For Free Legal advice see : http://legalbeagles.info/
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 13th May 18, 2:14 PM
    • 2,171 Posts
    • 13,231 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    • #4
    • 13th May 18, 2:14 PM
    • #4
    • 13th May 18, 2:14 PM
    Ten years ago I worried myself enough to sell my house and go on a DMP. This time my attitude is so different , I have a budget , I save for things now . I still live and enjoy life , but all without a credit card( apart from tickets to Oz ) .

    I wish I had been like you 10 years ago , I would probably have kept my house and I only had 15k of debt. As long as you have a plan and follow it through I think your attitude is right.

    Good luck with clearing yours.
    CC1 221 /3718
    • duskerwho
    • By duskerwho 13th May 18, 2:27 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    duskerwho
    • #5
    • 13th May 18, 2:27 PM
    • #5
    • 13th May 18, 2:27 PM
    I think as long s your calmness doesn't translate to complacency there's no problem at all. If you're thinking about it rationally and have a plan that you stick to that works, that can only be a good thing.
    • Slytherin
    • By Slytherin 13th May 18, 6:53 PM
    • 47 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    Slytherin
    • #6
    • 13th May 18, 6:53 PM
    • #6
    • 13th May 18, 6:53 PM
    I was BESIDE myself at one point but now I'm fairly chilled. It's mainly due to learning things from this forum and ultimately realising that panicking offers me NOTHING in terms of a solution to my problems. What's done is done, as long as you have a plan then everything's ok.
    • Larac
    • By Larac 13th May 18, 8:19 PM
    • 845 Posts
    • 529 Thanks
    Larac
    • #7
    • 13th May 18, 8:19 PM
    • #7
    • 13th May 18, 8:19 PM
    I have been on a DMP for the last 6 years, with about a year to go. I think early on, I focused very heavily 'on the debt' - but as the 'years' go on I treat it as 'another' DD from my account - I felt I needed to get a perspective on this as life goes on and having recently lost my last parent, this has brought this all very heavily into perspective. The whole DMP has been a very painful lesson but thankfully light at the end of the tunnel.
    • zippygeorgeandben
    • By zippygeorgeandben 13th May 18, 9:03 PM
    • 913 Posts
    • 1,240 Thanks
    zippygeorgeandben
    • #8
    • 13th May 18, 9:03 PM
    • #8
    • 13th May 18, 9:03 PM
    I think your attitude is fine. One word of caution though is what happens if something unexpected happens? Car breaks down? Washing machine needs replacing etc. Can you budget for that? Would it derail you? Would you both be able to cope with this emotionally/mentally as well as financially?
    End Sep 2016 End August 2018
    8236.57 0
    (Tesco 4.8%) 0pcm
    6185.75 0 (Zopa 4.0%) 0pcm

    5344.50
    0 (Sainsburys 0%) 0pcm
    2000.00 0 (Sister 0%) 0pcm

    Total debt
    19.766.82 0 Original DFD May 2019.
    • January2015
    • By January2015 13th May 18, 9:43 PM
    • 2,194 Posts
    • 5,349 Thanks
    January2015
    • #9
    • 13th May 18, 9:43 PM
    • #9
    • 13th May 18, 9:43 PM
    As long as you know why you have that level of debt and it has not just built up on general living expenditure AND you have a sound plan in place to clear it over a reasonable period then your debt should not worry you.

    The reason many people on this forum worry about their debt levels is that they have been using credit to live and to pay interest on other debts, i.e. borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.
    DFW Nerd No. 1484 LBM 07/01/15 Debt was 95k I'm driving it down
    1k emergency fund (member #84) 1k/1k
    • mandi80
    • By mandi80 13th May 18, 11:34 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    mandi80
    Thanks for all of the responses.

    I think that my husbands main source of worry is due to him wondering what other people would think if they knew about our debts.

    I think differently about this. Whilst I don't share details of our finances with friends and family, I also think that it's none of their bl**dy business! I don't expect them to share details of their finances with me!!!

    My husband thinks that we are in the minority regarding our level of debt. I agree that our debts are higher than most, however I'm sure that there must be thousands of other people owing 50K+
    • One-step-at-a-time
    • By One-step-at-a-time 15th May 18, 4:25 PM
    • 187 Posts
    • 612 Thanks
    One-step-at-a-time
    We have high levels of debt (at its worst it was equal to gross household income) and I've had a couple of very major wobbles, but for the most part I am now pretty calm and things are ticking along smoothly and in the right direction. Out of the pair of us, I'm definitely the worrier - my husband is incredibly chilled out about it all. Nobody knows our level of debt except us, and the sky is not falling on our heads. Things will be extra tight until the end of Feb when two major commitments come to an end; if we can get to that point without major disaster befalling us, then I will be able to breathe a lot more easily.
    LBM: Jan 2017. Total owed: 46993.21 (39300.21 on CCs) Sep 2018: 30700.84 (28150 on CCs) Total debt repaid: 34.7%
    Credit in use: 65.16% DFD: April 2021
    • xmas_angel
    • By xmas_angel 16th May 18, 9:36 PM
    • 12 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    xmas_angel
    I have to say i feel exactly the same way. Both me and my husband are high earners, have just under 70k of debt which includes cars and motorbike. Admittedly I have the odd !!!8216;oh !!!!!!!!!8217; moments but we!!!8217;ve never missed a payment, yes it would be nice not to have the debt, but I can already reduce my debt by 11k when we hand in the car and bike at the end of its pcp deal. We don!!!8217;t have a huge mortgage, plenty of equity in the house if needed (although would rather leave that alone) and luckily while we!!!8217;re both earning, have put a plan in place to clear as much as possible over the next few years. For me, I can!!!8217;t over think it, I!!!8217;ve just to crack on with it, work at reducing the debt overall until at some point in the next five years I can say I!!!8217;m debt free. It will happen, we!!!8217;ve just got to plough through it now to get there
    • ReadingTim
    • By ReadingTim 17th May 18, 10:14 AM
    • 2,932 Posts
    • 4,313 Thanks
    ReadingTim
    Other than the fact that you don't get a house at the end of it, your debt is no different from a mortgage, and as long as you have a plan to repay it/can meet your monthly repayments, then there's no reason to worry.

    However, you do have significantly less of a safety net, so it's perhaps worth retaining some small pot of easily accessible savings to cover anything truly unexpected, rather than throwing every single penny at the debt, especially if you're in it for the long haul.

    Worrying about what people think, aka "keeping up with the Jones's" is what gets many into debt in the first place - being seen to live a lifestyle they simply can't afford. Don't maintain that destructive mindset when you're in debt too!
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