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    • Returntosender
    • By Returntosender 11th May 18, 5:41 PM
    • 32Posts
    • 21Thanks
    Returntosender
    Hate Weddings...
    • #1
    • 11th May 18, 5:41 PM
    Hate Weddings... 11th May 18 at 5:41 PM
    I couldn't be happier to be engaged to the man I adore. The problem is, I hate weddings. The pomp and circumstance makes me cringe and the money people throw away on them makes me want to throw up.

    So, I'm trying to plan a very low budget, low faff wedding. I'd rather not get hitched in a Register Office so I'm trying to think outside the box when it comes to the venue - I absolutely don't want to spend more than a few hundred quid on the venue.

    Am I mad thinking this is doable?
Page 1
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 11th May 18, 6:42 PM
    • 14,752 Posts
    • 19,957 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    • #2
    • 11th May 18, 6:42 PM
    • #2
    • 11th May 18, 6:42 PM
    I think you will struggle. Have you considered one of the smaller register offices?

    The register office I used for my first marriage was essentially just a front room in a house in Scotland.

    Fees were around £90, if I remember correctly.
    “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain
    • Tigsteroonie
    • By Tigsteroonie 11th May 18, 6:45 PM
    • 22,844 Posts
    • 57,337 Thanks
    Tigsteroonie
    • #3
    • 11th May 18, 6:45 PM
    • #3
    • 11th May 18, 6:45 PM
    The expense of getting married other than in a Register Office isn't the marriage fees or the venue hire - it's the cost of getting the Registrar to attend. You could be looking at £300+ simply for an official to leave their building and walk down the road into the building you choose. If you're thinking low budget, that's not low budget.

    Instead, have a look around your local towns and select a Register Office that you like. We chose to marry in the neighbouring Town Hall because their Register Office was in the main building, which was quite ornate and had lots of lovely stained glass windows. It also had its own car park, which can be useful in town centres!

    We pulled our wedding in for under £500 but then we only had four guests.
    Mrs Marleyboy

    MSE: many of the benefits of a helpful family, without disadvantages like having to compete for the tv remote

    Proud Parents to an Au-some son
    • Returntosender
    • By Returntosender 11th May 18, 7:30 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    Returntosender
    • #4
    • 11th May 18, 7:30 PM
    • #4
    • 11th May 18, 7:30 PM
    The expense of getting married other than in a Register Office isn't the marriage fees or the venue hire - it's the cost of getting the Registrar to attend. You could be looking at £300+ simply for an official to leave their building and walk down the road into the building you choose. If you're thinking low budget, that's not low budget.

    Instead, have a look around your local towns and select a Register Office that you like. We chose to marry in the neighbouring Town Hall because their Register Office was in the main building, which was quite ornate and had lots of lovely stained glass windows. It also had its own car park, which can be useful in town centres!

    We pulled our wedding in for under £500 but then we only had four guests.
    Originally posted by Tigsteroonie
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 11th May 18, 7:34 PM
    • 14,752 Posts
    • 19,957 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    • #5
    • 11th May 18, 7:34 PM
    • #5
    • 11th May 18, 7:34 PM
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....
    Originally posted by Returntosender
    Mine was 300 miles away from where I lived.
    “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” - Mark Twain
    • skimper
    • By skimper 14th May 18, 2:32 PM
    • 175 Posts
    • 173 Thanks
    skimper
    • #6
    • 14th May 18, 2:32 PM
    • #6
    • 14th May 18, 2:32 PM
    Our registrar cost us £650! Nearly choked when she told me the price. that was in East Cheshire.
    • TonyMMM
    • By TonyMMM 14th May 18, 4:17 PM
    • 2,728 Posts
    • 3,040 Thanks
    TonyMMM
    • #7
    • 14th May 18, 4:17 PM
    • #7
    • 14th May 18, 4:17 PM
    Can you marry in a Register Office that isn't local to you? I thought it had to be in the county you lived.. our local RO is hideous....
    Originally posted by Returntosender
    You have to give notice in the area you live in (just some form filling and ID checking), the ceremony can be in another register office, or licenced venue, wherever you like.
    Last edited by TonyMMM; 14-05-2018 at 4:19 PM.
    • pigpen
    • By pigpen 15th May 18, 12:23 PM
    • 36,829 Posts
    • 474,017 Thanks
    pigpen
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 12:23 PM
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 12:23 PM
    Our local registry office is an ugly a$$ new-ish building.. the rooms are sparse and it is right in th emiddle of the town centre with nowhere even for photographs to be taken.. We would have to give notice there.. I looked into exactly this a while back.

    You book the place you want.. give notice at the place you live.. the paperwork is all online so it is sent straight over without any actual paperwork exchanging hands, when this is done you ring the chosen venue back, tell them you have given notice and they will formalise the booking. Within 2 weeks you should get formal notification that your chosen place has been booked.

    It is that simple.. 2-3 phonecalls and an hour at your local office and you're all set.

    You need an idea of guest numbers as registry offices have a number of rooms available depending on the size of the group.

    IF I were to get married I wouldn't tell anyone.. I would book it, have 2 witnesses and just do it.. the sheer logistics of getting the 2 families together is too stressful.
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
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    • duchy
    • By duchy 22nd May 18, 12:17 AM
    • 17,993 Posts
    • 45,669 Thanks
    duchy
    • #9
    • 22nd May 18, 12:17 AM
    • #9
    • 22nd May 18, 12:17 AM
    Our nearest registry office is a hideous 60s built building (but does have a cathedral and a castle opposite for photos) the second nearest however is a former archbishop's palace and is gorgeous.

    Around here you can marry in Napoleonic caves too.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    Apparently having a "Quirky and Hipster" wedding
    • de_artie
    • By de_artie 27th May 18, 5:35 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    de_artie
    marriage -> not necessarily a bad thing
    wedding -> hassle, tedious and unpleasant for sure!
    • MilduraS
    • By MilduraS 4th Jun 18, 12:18 AM
    • 20 Posts
    • 29 Thanks
    MilduraS
    This post could have been written by me a few weeks ago! Fortunately my husband to be has now agreed to get married abroad with parents and siblings only. My family is huge and I was terrified of the guest list escalating. On top of that, they would all need to travel which would mean feeding all 50+ of them for the entire day rather than having some as evening only guests.

    There are a lot of gorgeous registry offices around which could save you a fortune. I'm a 40 minute train ride from London so my list is fairly London-centric. If you're in the area a few to look at are Chelsea (my friends eloped there and had two VERY happy Chelsea Pensioners as witnesses), Marylebone, St Albans (Nice for outdoor photos), Coventry and Woolwich (stunning interior!). You could try to find a registry office followed by a lovely restaurant nearby if numbers are small.

    If you're inviting a larger group you'll have a hard time sticking to that budget but you could certainly keep costs down. One of the best weddings I've ever been to was at a church followed by a reception at Itchen Abbas Village Hall near Winchester. It was more beautiful than I had imagined and it was one of the happiest, most relaxed weddings I've experienced (despite being an incredibly wet weekend in July). You just need to be mindful of the costs of renting furniture and crockery/cutlery if there are no caterers.
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 23rd Jun 18, 9:36 PM
    • 1,433 Posts
    • 2,174 Thanks
    suejb2
    Wedding
    A big wedding wasn't important to us when we got married. Having a mooch around for you, and not knowing where you are: Shaw House in Newbury appears in a few lists; Westminster is popular; St Albans;Leeds civic hall;Alnwick;Glasgow;Cheshire and Langtons.

    Hope you find somewhere
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • nirok
    • By nirok 2nd Jul 18, 7:33 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    nirok
    Relax. It's not every wedding that makes you feel sick. You can consider the beautiful wedding dress or an interesting ceremony.
    • savvy
    • By savvy 8th Jul 18, 1:08 PM
    • 29,869 Posts
    • 45,547 Thanks
    savvy
    LOL Returntosender you sound just like me! I even had a panic attack at a wedding fair that had the whole shebang laid out including chintz bows....I almost threw up and had to get the heck out of that function room I have since wriggled my way out yet again of getting married...... have always joked some bloke will have to drag me kicking and screaming up the aisle, but I think it's actually true


    I did look into just a simple country barn affair, nice and rugged lol, but even then the pound signs were flashing up in peoples eyes



    I think now, the only way it may ever happen, would be to go abroad. I might be able to cope with that, small party of guests, chilled atmosphere without all the pomp etc.
    • dearbarbie
    • By dearbarbie 9th Aug 18, 4:31 PM
    • 537 Posts
    • 826 Thanks
    dearbarbie
    I couldn't be happier to be engaged to the man I adore. The problem is, I hate weddings. The pomp and circumstance makes me cringe and the money people throw away on them makes me want to throw up.

    So, I'm trying to plan a very low budget, low faff wedding. I'd rather not get hitched in a Register Office so I'm trying to think outside the box when it comes to the venue - I absolutely don't want to spend more than a few hundred quid on the venue.

    Am I mad thinking this is doable?
    Originally posted by Returntosender
    You have to get married in a church or registry office. I wanted to get married outside but was not allowed so had to have registry office (7 people!) then a fake garden ceremony.

    Also dislike traditional weddings - we had a Mexican theme, bridesmaids in flamingo print dresses, no first dance, no cake, I walked down the aisle with my fianc! to the 20th Century Fox theme tune! My mother's face.....!

    Our garden ceremony was followed by a barn reception at £650 for the weekend as it happened to be a village community hall and the money went back into running it so we felt really good about supporting something local too. Spotify playlists were the DJ, we got a barbecue caterer. Is possible!!

    You can do whatever you want - but the ceremony bit stands because UK law is archaic.
    • bluebear36
    • By bluebear36 12th Aug 18, 8:00 PM
    • 40 Posts
    • 64 Thanks
    bluebear36
    You have to get married in a church or registry office. I wanted to get married outside but was not allowed so had to have registry office (7 people!) then a fake garden ceremony.

    Also dislike traditional weddings - we had a Mexican theme, bridesmaids in flamingo print dresses, no first dance, no cake, I walked down the aisle with my fianc! to the 20th Century Fox theme tune! My mother's face.....!

    Our garden ceremony was followed by a barn reception at £650 for the weekend as it happened to be a village community hall and the money went back into running it so we felt really good about supporting something local too. Spotify playlists were the DJ, we got a barbecue caterer. Is possible!!

    You can do whatever you want - but the ceremony bit stands because UK law is archaic.
    Originally posted by dearbarbie
    As with most aspects of law, there is no such thing as UK law. I'm not sure where England lies with ceremony locations, but in Scotland people can get married wherever they like, or rather wherever they can get a registrar to travel to.

    We got married in a registry office, however that was because it was a lovely old building on the corner of the Royal Mile & George IV Bridge in Edinburgh. The venue cost a few hundred quid. Our alternative thoughts had been the zoo, or botanic gardens but decided against them as they were a bit pricey!
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 19th Aug 18, 9:13 AM
    • 4,751 Posts
    • 6,495 Thanks
    74jax
    You have to get married in a church or registry office. I wanted to get married outside but was not allowed so had to have registry office (7 people!) then a fake garden ceremony.
    Originally posted by dearbarbie
    This isn't true. You can get married anywhere that has a licence. People can get married in hotels, in hotel gardens, outside in the lake district. You have to googgled registered places and then contact for prices.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
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